My first reaction reading this post was that you are so lucky! Your girlfriend is finding hot chicks for threesomes! But, then I thought to myself, I could enjoy the same thing, although for a fee, without all the emotional baggage. That may be insensitive, but it's true. Maybe you are searching for a daughter, and she, a father. I could think of far worse relationships to be in, and she has obviously already experienced far worse.
I've recently started to date an escort. Someone that I've seen a lot of professionally. I know it sounds like a cliché, but we clicked on every level. She proposed that we see each other personally and I was more than happy to give it a try. Well I have to say it sucks. She's very popular in our area and between that and our personal lives we see less of each other now then before. I have a feeling that this relationship is not going where we both want it to go.
Is there anyone out there with a happy ending to a similar story, any advice is appreciated as I really have no one outside of the hobby to talk to about this.
If the both of you enter this relationship knowing the deal. Then the both of you have to accept the fact, she works in this hobby and you still date in the hobby.
Just don't rock the boat and enjoy yourself. Why stop hobbying, you can fuck her and other woman right?
Also ask her to set aside a day for the both of you, to hang out. This is her job and unless you are a rich man, why would she stop?
Just enjoy the fact, she wanted something more with you and keep on enjoying yourself.
If you feel like you cannot handle it, then maybe you should move on. I just feel like, you have the best of both worlds and are not seeing the bigger picture here.
-- Modified on 7/29/2014 6:56:03 AM
I met a provider about 9 years ago and we liked each other so much we became an item. Last January we wed.
Of course we still live 1,500 miles apart, so I think that helps a lot. We travel to hook up every couple of months or so but we do talk every day. We also have fights, but they're just part of the game of life. I still hobby with her blessing but she has retired to pursue another career.
We're both (ahem) middle age and it's the second go round for each of us.
Don't get sour on the idea. Relationships are hard, and most don't work out either. If you had a good time, that's all that matters.
The best advice I can give is this: she picked you. She doesn't pick who else sees her.
Maybe this will be a good read:
http://christianbvega.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-to-date-sex-worker.html?m=1
She stopped working when we developed feelings for each other.. said, she couldn't stand it anymore.. confessed that to me and wanted to know how I felt about that..
It's difficult..because she has so much "experience", I worry that she regards sex betwen us as "work"...but I have never been so open with anyone.. her life was chaos, frankly.. and we have and continue to work to get some focus and process to her life.. she's in recovery (in the sense that all addicts are forever in recovery).. had a horrible upbringing with no role models.. and says I'm the best thing that has ever happened to her.
All that being said, I'm getting burned out by the daily work of her getting her life together.. the drama of the baggage she brings is wearing me out.. so, the good with the bad.. biggest issue is our age difference.. she's in her 20's.. I'm in my 60's.. that is a pain in the ass...hiding "us" from her family.. is no fun.
Where this is going, I don't know.. Yesterday she said to me that if I wanted to exit, I should because she is becoming more and more in love and it becomes a lot harder to end things and she has a history of anything good falling apart.. she doesn't want to be hurt and relapse..
-- Modified on 8/11/2014 6:05:58 AM
I asked her today how she got her life so screwed up so quickly.. she says she had no one that cared about her.. He Mom used (stole) her SS # to set up bogus accounts when she was 15..Her Mom's husband raped her sister and went after her when she was 16.. she stabbed him and served time for assault (bad defense attorney).. and on and on.. she was exploited badly by an older provider who pretty much took every penny she made..
Some folks let themselves be victims.. she seems to be one of those.. I got her a job today working the phones and greeting people at an auto dealership.. we'll see how that goes.. I had to work with her to get clothes that are appropiate for a business.. and yet give some eye candy to the customers.. we'll see how this goes.. I don't know why I care so much.. but I do.. can't help it.. I picked her up tonight and she was all psyched.. says she thinks a super hot woman, a customer.. came on to her today so now she wants to try to set up a 3some with her.. you can take the girl out of the whorehouse.. but you can't take the whorehouse.. You know what I mean..
Im a very good friend of a young lady who tries to save everyone around her, and I love her to death, but I tell her as I will you that you cannot save everyone. You do what you can then at some point you have to let them make their own choice, and it may not be to your liking. I have to say my friend it feels to me you have yourself wrapped up in a situation that may turn out very bad for you. She has some serious history and may be very damaged, do not let yourself become more of her collateral mayhem. I wish you all the luck.
My apologies to the OP, I did not address your question at all.
My first reaction reading this post was that you are so lucky! Your girlfriend is finding hot chicks for threesomes! But, then I thought to myself, I could enjoy the same thing, although for a fee, without all the emotional baggage. That may be insensitive, but it's true. Maybe you are searching for a daughter, and she, a father. I could think of far worse relationships to be in, and she has obviously already experienced far worse.
I see this as a good deed. You are older already and you are able to help her out... why not?
It seems that she wants someone to help her and take care of her.... and seems that you need someone that cares for you as well. So why not keep the things as they are? I had a client many years ago that help me a lot, I pay for school, got an apt, help my family out and yet had a kid with him.He decided out after 5 years and that was okay with me. He gave me the best things that could happen to me at that time in my life. I stop partying like crazy, using drugs and back to life again.
Some folks let themselves be victims.. she seems to be one of those.. I got her a job today working the phones and greeting people at an auto dealership.. we'll see how that goes.. I had to work with her to get clothes that are appropiate for a business.. and yet give some eye candy to the customers.. we'll see how this goes.. I don't know why I care so much.. but I do.. can't help it.. I picked her up tonight and she was all psyched.. says she thinks a super hot woman, a customer.. came on to her today so now she wants to try to set up a 3some with her.. you can take the girl out of the whorehouse.. but you can't take the whorehouse.. You know what I mean..
It just didn't work out. She had so much baggage from bad credit, no education or skills beyond high school, and some misdemeanor arrests, plus family issues. I feel lucky that I got out of the relationship without losing any of my assets. Definitely Check her police record first.
It's difficult..because she has so much "experience", I worry that she regards sex betwen us as "work"...but I have never been so open with anyone.. her life was chaos, frankly.. and we have and continue to work to get some focus and process to her life.. she's in recovery (in the sense that all addicts are forever in recovery).. had a horrible upbringing with no role models.. and says I'm the best thing that has ever happened to her.
All that being said, I'm getting burned out by the daily work of her getting her life together.. the drama of the baggage she brings is wearing me out.. so, the good with the bad.. biggest issue is our age difference.. she's in her 20's.. I'm in my 60's.. that is a pain in the ass...hiding "us" from her family.. is no fun.
Where this is going, I don't know.. Yesterday she said to me that if I wanted to exit, I should because she is becoming more and more in love and it becomes a lot harder to end things and she has a history of anything good falling apart.. she doesn't want to be hurt and relapse..
It's a relationship, not an event. Share some experiences together and enjoy each other. Don't measure the "success" of your relationship with each other by how long it lasts. In fact, forget about it being successful. It will be what it turns out to be. Forget your foregone decisions as to what a happy relationship ought to be. Just experience it. Make up your own understanding of who you are to each other as it goes along. Maybe you'll define it one way today and a different way tomorrow. Does that matter?
Or do you demand on a tidy agreement with her that defines who you will be in her life and who she will be in yours? That really sounds like a boring arrangement. React to each moment when you're with her.
That's the only advice anyone can give. It's not a story with a concluding resolve; it's just a series of events. Hopefully happy, exciting, fun events that enrich your lives rather than drain your energy. There's no script. Let it be what it turns out to be.
he should not precipitate sex so much and start learning from each other first. Obviously sexually they click but if every day is about sex.... it's just a freebie not a relationship. A couple that actually is dating, go out, have dinner, do stuff, can be alone in an apartment and just talking, cooking together, doing things, watching movies... and not necessary meet always and have sex.
thats my opinion.....
It can work out if you just let it. Be patient. Keep your personal life away from these boards and the vampires that host on people like you, and you just might just find the sunshine beneath the cracks in the walls of disoray.
Relationships are born , cultivated , and then nourished by the love that you have for one another and the equal values your share together .
Stay on this path , and success in this relationship could truly be yours. Divert and you may loose the love of your life.
I say exhaust the situation on every level before giving up. True Love is a rarity most never find. Now hold her tight and never let her go. If she wishes to be set free . Allow it . True love will always come back to you. Bound and chained she may not. Do not fear this love . It has happened for a reason . All love is good love . Never be so arrogant as to exploit it or take it for granted. It may never come around to you again in any form , if you're intent is to destroy it.
Love , love. It may be all that you have at the end of the day.
Follow your mind , body , and what direction your soul prescribes that you go. Don't listen to friends jealous rants about how she is no good for you . Intuition is a gift from God . A blessing . Use it well and believe in its power to guide you. When you trust yourself and your selfs judgement calls you gain a confidence no one can take away from you . You have a sixth sense to guide you through this life's journey.
-- Modified on 3/6/2015 7:38:40 AM