just how appealing your are to us slightly aged gents. Wish you lived closer.
A thought........
Providers, do you notice an shift in the average age of your clients? I have to believe that, as the baby boomers are divorcing at a later age, or are in sexless relationships due to age of their partner, the age of you clients is increasing....not to mention the large amount of Boomers which are aging. I would love to know what you think....
A question......
Gents, I am in my late 50's and my ex closed up shop right after menopause and divorced me. I am curious how many of us are in this situation, or are in later in life sexless relationship. I guess I am hoping there are more poor saps like me out there.
Please do not slam me for bringing this up.....
My hobbying gave her the rational to do so, but it was clear to me that she wasn't happy and was looking for a way out anyways.
Not much happening at home and felt I was missing something and didn't want to leave this world with any regrets for not trying and experiencing new things. Been hobbying for about four years and will continue as long as the ladies will have me, or I get caught...
except I don't consider myself a poor sap anymore....Yes, I loved the picket fence life for 25 years but its gone and to tell the truth I am really very happy with my set up now....an occasional fwb date, an occasional vanilla date, an occasional provider for full throttle fun, and meetup.com for socialization. I've found I like my alone time. Cheer up, it gets better.
Providers, do you notice an shift in the average age of your clients? I have to believe that, as the baby boomers are divorcing at a later age, or are in sexless relationships due to age of their partner, the age of you clients is increasing....not to mention the large amount of Boomers which are aging. I would love to know what you think....
A question......
Gents, I am in my late 50's and my ex closed up shop right after menopause and divorced me. I am curious how many of us are in this situation, or are in later in life sexless relationship. I guess I am hoping there are more poor saps like me out there.
Please do not slam me for bringing this up......
At about 50.. women decide that sex is silly and they have had enough.. just my observation and there are probably a ton of exceptions.. but 15 years ago, my wife did it.. I lasted 13 years as a monk.. couldn't do it anymore..my wife is pretty much a roommate and business partner now,, that's all.. I feel nothing for her..
13 years, you deserve a medal.......
in our lives as you. It's nice/helpful to be able to share.
I am also in my late 50's, (61 lol). It seems to me that my SO, a working mom, used up so much of her emotional gifts on raising our 2 really outstanding children, great contributing members of our society, (can't you tell I'm proud), that by menopause, she just had nothing left to contribute to our sexual lives. Relations became physically painful, and I love her so much I couldn't put her through the discomfort of sex, just for my needs.
We tried doctors, etc., but my girl is very shy and I could see this wasn't helping her self-esteem, so, I dropped it.
I wish I could say that is what drove me to this thing of ours, but I'd be lying. Once I got a taste of it, in high school, I never looked back. It's exciting. It's like Christmas all the time, especially when you don't think your appearance is good enough to have a beautiful woman give you a second look!
These women have taught me so much. Patience. Attention. Gentleness. And Technique. So, since 18, I've lived this fantasy, this James Bond, (Walter Mitty, lol), life. Never looked back, till tonight, but I'm content. If, tomorrow, it all falls apart for me, it actually wont. People will still love me. The earth will continue to revolve around the sun. Life will go on. And, people will still love me. Joe C.
Many of us have lovely wives who just, for many reasons, have totally lost interest in sex. You listed many of them, and they are totally understandable and accurate. But that doesn't happen with us. I am just as interested and wanting it now as much as ever. In fact, now that my career and life is winding down, I have more time and energy to put into the hobby.
Good point also on what these new women teach and do for us. That can't be a bad thing, and for many of us, it helps a lot in our home life as well
I want to say I enjoyed reading what many of you put. Especially you TheLabyrinth, this is the reason why some of us ladies do not see the young ones.... most of you are more appreciative and think/consider alot. We even get that love is there with the SO and sex is different.
Just want to say thanks.
from the time we got together. She was just 40 then. I put up with it for many years, only the last few, gave up & went to hobbying.
to offer a different perspective. Just for balance, ok? Try being honest with your wife. It's worked great for me. I told her what I wanted to do and after several conversations she said ok. She knows about my hobbying and gives me her permission to enjoy myself and get my need for variety met. As for us, our sex life is the best it's ever been. She continues to enjoy sex and ask for it. We are both in our sixties. Just sayin.
There's an exception to every rule. Good for you...
Indeed, good for you.
I left the business for about 5.5 years and just returned a few months ago. Since my return, I have noticed that I'm seeing far more gentlemen who are 55+. I thought perhaps it had something to do with the fact that "I" am now in a different age category.
But now that I think on what you wrote, it's likely a bit of both in my case. There may indeed be a much higher percentage of AARP-member hobbyists now than ever before.... AND I may be more appealing to them than those in the 35-55 group.
In fact, that would make a lot of sense because I recall that about 10 years ago when I worked for an agency, I would hear about how the "older girls" just never got nearly as much business as the younger ladies, no matter how attractive and pleasing they were. So I was more than a little worried coming back, thinking that I might not be able to really make a go of it anymore. And have been VERY pleasantly surprised to find that is not the case... whatever the reason(s) may be.
I'd like to point out that there are quite a few hobbyists, well-developed in years, who've simply been in the hobby themselves for quite some time. A few clients who I knew way back when have returned to me, and they are all now in the 55+ group.... but they've all been around a long time too; so if they are in sexless relationships, that's been going on for quite some time.
So... are more 55+ men getting into the hobby, or are there simply a lot of seasoned veterans STILL hobbying at that age?
Again, I think it's a bit of both.
This would be a VERY interesting sociological/socio-economic study, though. ;-
The baby boomers are the largest generation in history. Almost all, depending how you measure, are over 55. It stands to reason that there are more fish in the sea than even 5.5 years ago. Add that whole creeping mortality thing, that's in the back of your mind, it's not a surprise there are many who are trying to regain their youth.
It's not just providers. If you have the cash to swing it look at the sports cars, trophy wives and exotic travel. Baby boomers don't want to admit the grim reaper is in the team picture. We delude ourselves in many ways.
In your case I would suggest you hit a sweet spot. Guys like younger woman, but a lot of us don't want to drop down into the late teens and most of the twenties. To me that just feels wrong. A couple of late 50s friends have married 35-40 year olds and that seems about right in terms of a lower age. Yes, there are a lot guys who would interested in you.
Since you seem to be living in a time of "fat cows," I would suggest you prepare for the inevitable future time of "skinny cows."
Good luck.
Since you seem to be living in a time of "fat cows," I would suggest you prepare for the inevitable future time of "skinny cows."
Good luck.
::huge eyeroll::
hahahahahaha!
I agree, this would be a good study. My career is in Marketing and Sales, and I am used to using demographic information to build a story around the brands I supported.
It would be interesting to do a study on the hobby in such a manner, but I do not have the resources to do so.
Thus the question I poised.
Thanks for your feedback. Also sent you a PM
just how appealing your are to us slightly aged gents. Wish you lived closer.
That's very sweet and flattering! If you're ever in Chicago..... 
Later this year, around the beginning of autumn, I will be hitting the road doing the travelling thing.
So if you'd like me to stop by your neck of the woods, please don't be shy.
xoxo
Debbie
We have been married for 30 years. After the change she has become more adventurous, kinky, liberal and sexually charged. The better half found out she likes spending fun time with other girls. It is a turn on to watch her go down on another woman.
We spend time at Lifestyle resorts in both the U.S. and abroad. Made many friends that we see during the year. Sometimes we have"naughty" time and sometimes we don't. Good times either way.
She fights aging hard. Swims 10 miles a week, to maintain her 5'10," 120 pound self.
I got lucky. She's my bud, my pal.
Dude, you got real lucky! Good for you. Rock on....
My situation is just like many on this thread. My wife never really was into the sex that much. That was before she developed a medical condition that made sex uncomfortable/impossible. Between the lack of interest and the subsequent medical condition, I went for years with no sexual relations at all. I found myself resenting this situation, and felt like a jerk to have these thoughts. I thought very seriously about divorce, but I still have feelings for her, and could not bring myself to just walk out given her condition. But the relationship is much like a dependent, rather than a partnership or marriage. Most of this is not her fault.
Seeking out an affair was never an option, so at a time of maximum frustration, I began to explore this world. It took me a long time to go from thinking about it to acting upon it. I have been fortunate to find a handful of mid thirties ladies, who are totally amazing. I only hobby while travelling, and have a perfect cover, which means I am very unlikely to ever put my wife in the position of needing to face this head on. Maybe she suspects, but if she does, she is staying silent. The relationships I have developed in this world, have done both her and I a big favour, even if she does not know it. Perfectly healthy people like those here should not be faced with the prospect of zero sex for the last 20-30 years of their life.
My new hobbying friends have literally changed my life in a hugely positive way. It irks me that society forces these relationships into dark corners, and that sex workers are portrayed they way they are. The people I know are not victims, and are among the most confident, and together women I have ever met. I am happy to help them financially when I can. For those reading this, thanks.
... where there's mutual love and the marriage is good except in the intimacy department. And that's because one spouse or the other is incapable of intimacy, whether due to physical or psychological factors. They're not withholding intimacy to be cruel... they simply can't provide it. What's the other spouse to do? Leave? If someone thinks that's the solution, they should consider if they would abandon a child who has a serious disability. No, of course not. So should the other spouse just suck it up and bear it? Many do that, but as you said it breeds resentment, and also frustration and stress-- none of which are good for the person or those close to him/her.
I hope that people who talk about how a married person seeing providers is dishonorable will think about your situation and that of others in similar situations before passing Judgement on them.
And yes, providers help others in ways they may not realize. Or perhaps they do...
Some of the responses above assume us older guys are just failing to have a nice lil ole discussion with the missus about how we miss sex. Done it, didn't help. Maybe some of you guys don't know (yet) that lots of women go through physical changes that make it impossible for them to have sex, or completely wipe out their desire. (Please, don't tell me about hormone replacement therapy. It is not a panacea, and can be dangerous in some circumstances.)
Sadly, I think that if I get caught, the wife will be hurt to the core ESPECIALLY because she will be mortified by the perception that she is not a real woman cause she can't / won't have sex and a beautiful younger woman gave me what I needed. I very much DO NOT want to get caught. But I take the risk for the precise reason that you stated, that I crave intimacy in the final quarter of my life.
Some responses imply that we should just get a divorce. Not that easy in later life, when your lives are intertwined, when your retirement assets are intertwined, and when you might very well become even more lonely should you divorce. In some respects, getting divorced can be more selfish than not.
between two opposing emotionsk: 1) fuck it...I'm out of here....she's lost the desire....I still have it...why can't she throw me some crumbs once in awhile....why should I have to ask for an uninspired handjob...maybe I should give her an ultimatum....a little more touching and passion and pleasure and cuddling or "why I oughta!!!" or 2) she has a terminal condition of no libido and no interest and is basically an unhappy person....and I'd no sooner leave her than I would if she had cancer. Counseling is out of the question. And I get the girl with the far away eyes when I try to talk about it. Other than that, things are great! So, I hobby. Not as often as I'd like....but enough to keep me sustained. And I've got an appt coming up with the lovely Debbie...a couple of posts up on this thread. Can't wait! But I can't help but feel sometimes what a sorry bunch of MF's we are that we have to do this....those of us in similar situations that is.
Looks like several of us are in the same boat. I share many of the guilty feelings, even though I am divorced. My ex was drop dead gorgeous when I met her, great at screwing but terrible at fore play ( use your imagination).
IMHO she is still hot, but has ZERO interest in sex or any other men, or women for that matter.
So we remains friends.
We divorced because she found porn on my computer. At the time I was not into the hobby and using porn as a sex replacement. She divorced me over the porn.
If she found out about the hobby, she would take my kids and tell me I am going to Hell. Perhaps she is right about Hell.
But like others have said, why should we close up shop when our other half, unilaterally closes up on us and will not do those "other things" to keep us relieved and at home?
Thus my hunch that folks like us are a growing and will become a majority of the client base in the hobby.
Finally, as others have posted, I feel like a bad cliche of the "Dirty Old Man-Perv" when I am with any provider under 35 or 30 years old. I have done it a couple of times and regretted it each time.
Give me a MILF anytime......
It's just that nature / evolution found no use for many women to breed after their prime years, but apparently forgot to put a cork in us men. Some biologist can probably tell us it has to do with conserving energy etc and nature never expected us to live beyond 39 anyway and the silverbacked males need to spread their seed blah blah. Maybe I got the theory wrong, but certainly it has to do with us being the fruit rotting on the tree and gittin ready to drop.
However......I suspect that many of us men with this wife-problem in retrospect realize that we married women who were either brain washed to feel guilty / dirty about sex or just plain never had much of an urge to begin with and it all comes to roost at menopause. Have read that women that screw frequently with no time-outs in middle age are much more likely to retain elastic twats that give them much enjoyment into older age. You know which women I think have by far the best likelihood of enjoying sex into old age? Providers! God bless them all.
ROFLMAO!!! Seriously, that one really made me laugh, in a good way. I am going to HAVE to find a way to work that one into a conversation, and soon.
by the medical experts. What I read was the vagina loses elasticity, the wall tissues thin out and have diminished circulation and lubrication. I also read that frequent use can prevent or slow this!!!
I actually heard that from a mature provider who pleasures herself with toys frequently, for that very reason.
So does that commercial catch phrase applies..."A body at rest tends to stay at rest, a body in motion stays in motions.
Hmm, let me give this a try...."A pussy that is unused tends to stay unused...a pussy fucked tends to stay fucking (or pussy that is in motion stays in motion)? Sounds good to me.....
For example, one might be called "mutual exhaustion." Fires banked, kids grown, still good health, one party seemingly more interested in social life, the other feeling in need of substantive sensual encounters a couple of times a month. SO discovers the "infidelities," with righteous indignation and genuine hurt feelings. Who wants to hurt someone who has shared life's challenges and is still the person he most want to spend time with?
My take FWIW: the bar has been set too high to accommodate modern situations. Are SOs entitled to assume monogamous behavior for all time after the marriage vows have been spoken? I say no, but most SOs say "yes!" Are husbands entitled to ask their SOs to look the other way while they have a few "dalliances" every month? I say "yes" but it won't happen for a long time, if ever. Society has no answer to these dilemmas (yet), but better mutual understanding would help.
My wife still denies that she never really liked sex, or that she's totally lost her interest. I guess she tells herself it's me who hasn't wanted it in the last five years or more.
Our lives are so intertwined that at my age I couldn't even think about divorce. But she has absolutely no sexual interest anymore -- and I'm not willing to give it up yet. I know that some day I'll have to. That's the day I'll get antidepressants from my doctor instead of these other meds. I'm so grateful for the hobby!
I got caught from a twitter response (be careful). She had no interest in sex after menopause but I was not ready to stop so I found the hobby about 5 years ago. I just turned 60 and can't wait to back in the saddle again. So after a month or so, I'll be back. No divorce but we are just roommates.
We got together when I was on the rebound from a extreemly hurtful divorce so I was not agressive. But we had sex during courtship. Soon after we married, her daughter claimed she could hear everything from our room, stayed awake even after put to bed, so wife decided wed never habve sex at home, lest dear child might hear something. She refused to be creative about times & places. So we had sex nce a year when we went away for an convension. When pressed, Wife claimed "It won't always be like this!" To be clear, it was not just sex. She didn't like kissing, cuddling, or other displays of affection. Sex was always late art night when we were both exhausted & just wanted to get it done... and only by appointment... agreed to earlier in the evening. I actually kept a hidden journal for several years... because she'd deny how long it had been. I never showed her the journal but I know the truth. I didn't bring the journal when I switched computers...
Child grew up & moved away... pattern continued. Yes, it stayed just like that. 20 years passed. I never cheated or really looked at others. I had medical issues of my own going on. About the last 6 years ago, I realized that she was not going to change & if I wanted SEX, I'd have to find it elsewhere. I started with FBSM, eventually found extras.
In the most recent years, she's simply stopped agreeing to have sex. Changes the subject. Ignors requests. etc. When pressed, she claims she's not "stopping" but not right now. It's been 3-4 years range now. Who does she think she's fooling? Or is she lieing to herself?
Looking back, I think the term "asexual" applies to her. She's never initiated sex... in 25 years. She recieved some lingeree as a wedding gift... she never put it on. She laid it on the bed, put it back in the boxes & said that was the last I'd see of it. And so it was. But we had animals I such wear would not have been appropriate for urgent trips to take the dog out, etc. Easy to explaini away... but she never came out & told the truth. If she had, I'd have been gone.
She decieved me just as surely as my cheating ex (who meanwhile withheld sex from me). All I have ever wanted was a complete marriage... that included a physical relationship. The closest I have ever come to a complete relationship was a forbidden relationship with a married woman... in my youth. While we had an intense sexual relationship, we were never able to spend a night together.
is I can pay to play a whole bunch but I will NEVER go bareback again in my life.
-- Modified on 4/11/2015 9:12:30 PM
Have you been with a Lady Friend who uses a female condom? It's darn close to a bb experience.
Amazing!
-- Modified on 4/11/2015 9:12:30 PM
just before me. I gather you can't just run out to any pharmacy and pick up a box of them (?)
I agree, but I will take "The Glove" over the hand. Only option except the.........well we know what that is.
...it is not all about the female gender getting older and closing shop. It is also about the need for more aggressive stimulation to get junior awake and moving......
So even if the SO wants to play, in my case, if she is not into aggressive oral, and my SO never was, forget it. I remember in my early 40's I mentioned I needed more attention south of the boarder. Nothing.....no change, no oral. Not really her fault in a way. So enter the little blue pill earlier than I think I needed. So, to a degree, both parties aging contribute to the problem.
I have ED, I think most of us on here do, and I am good to go about 80% of the time, depending on the mood and the chemistry with the provider. This is my problem......not anyone else.
It gets worse year after year, little by little, but I am not going down without a fight.
When with an older provider I have never, NEVER been made to feel that performance, or lack there of, has been an issue. Ladies, you are very classy indeed