SO I've recently come across a provider that I enjoy having angry sex with.
She's not really my type at all, I'm not particularly attracted to her as she's not what I typically go for at all; but she does bear a striking resemblance to one of my former managers. A former manager that I did not care for at all. I told my provider of the situation and if we could role-play; I called her "Pam", had her leave her glasses on, tie her hair back, and we agreed upon a safe word. I then proceeded to throat fuck her, pull her hair, choke her, slap her ass red, and call her a series of derogatory names. It was rough angry Hate sex, and following simultaneous orgasms; we agreed to make this a regular thing. We've since grown more elaborate with her costuming and role play work situations, it's been sexually liberating to say the least, Im even comfortable with slapping her; something I've never been into with any girl. I'm enjoying some of the most intense orgasms of my life, but I'm a little troubled by the source. I guess I'm just wondering if this Hate Sex is healthy.It is not possible to tell from the very limited information you have given, but to answer in rather simplistic terms:
If this "therapy" is helping you to come to terms with a situation and also enabling you to lead the kind of life you want (hopefully, not a demonic lifestyle), then I would term it healthy.
On the other hand, if this "therapy" is causing you to become callous and uncaring to people you ought to care about (e.g. a new boss) at least to the point where it messes up your career, then I'd say it is unhealthy.
There are of course, many shades of gray (no pun to the novel intended) involved, and many therapies have good and bad tendencies, same as medicines we take for various diseases.
If you are concerned about this, I would seek professional help from a VERY broadminded and qualified councilor.
Thanks for sharing this by the way. It's a lot of food for thought.
If this "therapy" is helping you to come to terms with a situation and also enabling you to lead the kind of life you want (hopefully, not a demonic lifestyle), then I would term it healthy.
On the other hand, if this "therapy" is causing you to become callous and uncaring to people you ought to care about (e.g. a new boss) at least to the point where it messes up your career, then I'd say it is unhealthy.
There are of course, many shades of gray (no pun to the novel intended) involved, and many therapies have good and bad tendencies, same as medicines we take for various diseases.
If you are concerned about this, I would seek professional help from a VERY broadminded and qualified councilor.
Thanks for sharing this by the way. It's a lot of food for thought.
even writing it now, I feel some shame for the fact that this gets me off. I want to add that my provider gets off as well and we have a safe word should anything go too far. Feels good writing this since it's bee rolling in my head for a bit.
No need to feel shame over this. You are embracing your totality, and that is always a good thing.
Congrats on getting this out of your system, and kudos to the gal helping you.