Nice reference. Too bad I wouldn't qualify to wear it.
Do anyone like limericks ?
One of my longtime favorites is the classic
There once was a man from Pawtuckett,
With a Dick so long he could suck it,
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin;
“If my ear was a C*nt I would F*ckit!”
Another one
There once was a man from Racine
who invented a f—ing machine.
Concave or convex,
it could serve either sex,
but oh, what a bother to clean!
There once was a man from East Anglia
Who went on a wild bacchanalia
He buggered a dog
Two goats and a frog
And a Bishop in fullest regalia
There once was a man from Moritz
Who planted a filed full of tits
They came up in the fall
Pink Nipples and all
And he languidly chewed them to bits
There was a young plumber named Lee
who lay plumbing his girl by the sea.
She said, “Oh! Stop plumbing!
There's somebody coming!”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “It's me.”
There was a young girl from Rabat
Who had triplets: Nan, Pat, and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding,
but hell in the feeding,
as she found she had no tit for Tat
A woodpecker in a tree at old Berlin-in,
Thought: “What type tree am I peckin-in,
No, not a Beechnut,
Nor was it Birch, but,
The best piece of Ash my peckers been-in!
There was a young lass from Cape Cod
Who believed babies came from God
But it wasn't the Almighty
Who crept up her nightie
It was Roger the Lodger by God!
I'm the man from Nantucket!
-- Modified on 3/14/2015 3:06:49 PM
Nice reference. Too bad I wouldn't qualify to wear it.
I saw a man wearing that very T-shirt. He was holding hands with a woman who had a T-shirt reading, "I am the wife of the Man from Nantucket." She was smiling.
While Titian was mixing rose madder,
His model reclined on a ladder.
Her position to Titian
Suggested coition,
So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.
There once was a man from Belgrade
Kept a dead prostitute in a cave.
He said, "I'll admit, she stinks just a bit.
But think of the money I save."
There once was a lass from Aberystwythe,
Took some grain to the mill to make grist with.
The miller's son, Jack, laid her flat on her back
And united the things that they pissed with.
There once was a girl from Bermuda,
Who met an artiste name MacGruder.
She thought she was shrewd when she posed for him nude.
But MacGruder was shrewder and screwed her.
????????
I didn't post this here. It was a response to a totally different thread on a different subject.
Who found posting to be quite tricky.
His post was on the wrong board,
Something happened, quite untoward.
Fuggedaboudit - go get yourself a quicky!
-- Modified on 3/15/2015 5:35:37 PM
I don't think "tricky" had anything to do with it. There are some internal glitches here I think caused it. For example, on several occasions I've clicked on one person's post and gotten another.
There once was man named Skinner
Who took a young lady to dinner
At a quarter past nine they sat to dine
At a quarter past ten it was in her
Dinner not Skinner!
Skinner was in her before dinner
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over
Rover took over
And gave her a bone of his own.
With the line: "Aw, move over Rover, and let Jimi take over!"
There was a young man named Sweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
He thought this uncouth,
So he added vermouth,
And slipped his girl a martini.
A gay chap who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
And they argued all night
About who had the right
To do what and with which and to whom
There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her 'little earner' with glue.
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it, too.
There was a young man from Kent
Who's dick was so long it bent.
To save himself trouble
he put it in double.
Instead of cumming
he went
a habit unclean and unsavory
kept the bishop of london in slavery,
with diabolical howls,
he'd bugger young owls
that he kept in an underground aviary
bloody hell!
There once was a young man from Ipswick
Who wanted to dampen his dipstick
She said, I approve,
what shall I remove?
My panties, my glove or my lipstick?
There once was a man from Peru
Who fondled himself in a canoe
He dreamt of a Venus
As he played with his penus
And woke up with a hand full of goo
A lusty young soldier from Kildare
Was stroking himself in a chair
On the 63rd stroke
The furniture broke
And his rifle went off in the air