and I would hazard a guess that you are missing much information on your own psychology (And in that you would be far from alone.)
What I would suggest is finding a good psychologist or councilor and meeting with them to see if they can find what motivates you, or leads to a lack of sexual motive towards this woman. It could be something about her that unbeknownst to your consciousness is turning you off.
Of course, there are many other possibilities.
One thing I know for sure is that you won't get all the answers you need on a forum like this, it takes a skilled individual to learn.
One thing I can tell you is that I would not let the lack of sexual affection dissuade me from engaging with a woman if I thought she possessed the much more important qualities of affection, warmth and humor that are really the bedrock of a lasting relationship.
Here's hoping for a happy situation for you.
I am 26 years old and to give a bit of background information I have spent most of my sexual life to this point with seeing either girls in this hobby or one night stands from meeting girls in clubs or when traveling. I've been with quite a few women and rarely would even maintain a fuckbuddy relationship for longer than a month. I actually had a few threads on this forum a long time ago in regards to libido issues and was recommended by many to stop watching porn and give a relationship with one girl a shot. I will say that this definitely helped to restore my natural libido in regards to morning wood and maintaining erections from just seeing a beautiful woman or being in her presence. And for the first few months in this relationship I was sexually aroused by the girlfriend as well without any porn usage. I mention that part in case people believe it relates to my current issue.
So 6 months ago, I decided to try a relationship with one girl I met who was beautiful, great in bed, and had a very caring personality. We have basically lived together like a married couple, spending lots of time together for the past 6 months, and it's reaching the point that I'm not actively feeling horny naturally anymore. I still have my libido when seeing other girls when I'm out and about, but not with her anymore. It kind of sucks because I do feel like I love her and that we are like best friends, but I can't control if I feel turned on or not. Once we do initiate sex though I still am able to finish and maintain erection, but the strong desire to have sex isn't there.
Is this normal for most men in relationships or is it a sign that there's something wrong? Or is it my previous habits of seeing so many different women coming back to haunt me? Anyone else experienced this? Anything I can do about it? On another forum board, people suggested that it means I don't love her, as to imply once you find someone you truly love you never lose any arousal for that person. That seems hard to believe, but maybe others can chime in.
and I would hazard a guess that you are missing much information on your own psychology (And in that you would be far from alone.)
What I would suggest is finding a good psychologist or councilor and meeting with them to see if they can find what motivates you, or leads to a lack of sexual motive towards this woman. It could be something about her that unbeknownst to your consciousness is turning you off.
Of course, there are many other possibilities.
One thing I know for sure is that you won't get all the answers you need on a forum like this, it takes a skilled individual to learn.
One thing I can tell you is that I would not let the lack of sexual affection dissuade me from engaging with a woman if I thought she possessed the much more important qualities of affection, warmth and humor that are really the bedrock of a lasting relationship.
Here's hoping for a happy situation for you.
Yeah, a lot of what I'm trying to figure out I guess is how normal this is and if it's abnormal or a sign that something isn't right.
Who cares if somebody tells you it's "normal"? It's how you feel. Talk to a therapist or better yet, talk to the WOMAN. Some women will shy away from any talk about sex, it's true, and it's good to find that out early so you can get as far away from them as possible. You'd be surprised at how many women would LOVE to talk about their sex life and how to make it better. You might open a can of worms that will net you great sex for the rest of your life!
...so you seek variety and get tired of the same old same old, no matter how hot she is.
It's like they say: "I love pizza but I can't eat it every day."
I love my wife to death, but we dont have sex cuz she's not into it most of the time.
So, that's why there are providers for that.
Too much time around each other from the get go, you've said it yourself, you're like a married couple. Hello, you're only six months in. This happens a lot in relationships shortly after the honeymoon period.. It's like over saturating and over stimulating yourself with her awesomeness, and you become a little immune. It's too late to slow down and back away a little, so try your best to view her as a sexual object again. ;]
Just keep trying, make things sweet, get her that hot outfit and go out on the town. Build it up. Flirt over texts again. You need to maintain that sexual attraction with effort. Normally, not at this phase in your relationship but you already jumped that ship, my friend.
Try developing a habit of sleeping together nude. While this doesn't necessarily translate into more frequent sex, it certainly affords an environment that'll remind you of your sexual connection. Remember she's not just a woman and your partner, she's your sex partner. By no means is masturbation off limits, just try watching each other.. I always was a bit of an voyeurist. :] Setting a sex "date" is one of my favorite techniques. By the day of, I'm getting off several times on my own in anticipation.
Hug more. Studies show 30 to 60 seconds of hugging a few times a day builds levels of oxytocin, which is a chemical in your brain that fosters a feeling of attachment and contentment. ( something I'm very familiar with, as a lactating young milf, lol)
One of your problems, I think, is that you were a hobbyist. The thrill of the hunt and new toy and then when interest flags and you go off looking for your next conquest and there's no broken hearts or hurt feelings. Not there's anything truly wrong with that. It's awesome and suits many people just fine. (I think I had a phase here and there too, lol). But by being a hobbyist, it's a lot harder to fight the instinct and craving for new, because you've had high caliber women available a whole lot easier than the general public. Where the only real barrier in the way of getting laid is what your bank account can handle. Most guys don't get the prized pussy with such little effort.
-- Modified on 1/11/2013 11:05:52 PM