Damn! Are you still married to her or do you have one more strike left?
Very recently, I had a situation with a provider during an out-call that turned out to be a pretty funny story. At the time, the middle of the night, it was a bit stressful but over all it was something that we could laugh at latter.
I'm sure if you've played long enough in this hobby, at some point we all have a story to tell about the time when things didn't exactly go as planned. Something went a wry with the provider, your meeting itself, the aftermath of the event itself. But something just wasn't in the original game plan that ended up being good story after the fact. Hopefully a good laugh.
It might had created a scene, it might have been an embarrassment, it could have been a nightmare or it could have been just something you ended up having to laugh at as just an unplanned situation that you both survived.
Ok so the rule is,
No names,
No outings or giveaways,
Names and specifics should be changed or vague enough to relate the story but not embarrass or reveal who the parties are.
This should just be for fun and a few laughs.
I'll start.
This happened several years ago, I had an opportunity to take a provider to a Red Sox game. As a long time New Englander this woman always wanted to see a game but never had the opportunity. I had an extras ticket to a day game during the week and the provider was heading out of town following the game so it worked into both of our schedules.
We met at Fenway Park and went to our seats watching several innings and decided to get something to eat and drink. I stepped into the beer line and after a node from my lady friend requested a couple of beers and stepped away and promptly offered one of the beers to her. We began walking away when suddenly a plain closed police office walks up and asks her for a photo ID.
I became a little worried not entirely sure the girl was 21. Low and behold she pulls out an ID, not hers but close enough that the officer starts scrutinizing the ID closely and as he's about to question her more, another officer walks up while speaking on his radio saying they have to go there was a disturbance at Gate A. Off they went....
We looked at each other as she said to me,
"Wow that was close."
"WTF! close!!!!???? Hold old are you??"
"I'll be 21 in September"
"OMG! We could have both gone to jail!"
We both dropped our beers and walked away laughing as there was nothing to be upset about we'd both made poor decisions and we lived to talk about it. But I did have the distinct feeling my life had just passed before my eyes.
So that's my story and I'm sticking to it. What's yours?
Remember no outing anyone, no names and no embarrassing anyone. Just lets hear the humor in our silly lives and the risks we take.
Maybe I'll even return to tell about more recent follies.
I have one, not quite as fun as fenway but here goes!
I was meeting with a new friend. My friend was on a tight travel schedule and needed a 12:30p rendezvous. This time is nearly impossible for a same day check in especially mid summer in Boston. I concocted this big story (aka lie) trying to check in well before the norm. I told the front desk I was renting for a surprise birthday party/girls night out. I explained in great detail that I needed to decorate the room before the girls arrived. On and on my story went.
The staff was surprisingly receptive and after ten minutes I was in the room. I was flying around like a gazelle trying to apply makeup and get myself looking like Lisa instead of the sweet girl scout throwing the mock birthday party. Mission accomplished and I was proud of myself! Ohhh how I should have known. Lying always catches up!
My phone rang and it was my new friend, I gave him my specific location and went to open the door. Not even a minute later there was a knock at the door. I should have known again! Nope, not a clue. Come on in I yell. In walks a young man with a bunch of balloons. Wow, how nice, my new friend brought me balloons! Yes, I know what you are thinking. I was still oblivious. I said geesh that was fast, were you waiting in the lobby? He says yes I was in the lobby. I invite him to sit down and another knock at the door! I am thinking it must be the maid. I look through the peephole and another young man is standing in the hall. Hmmm one would think by now I would get it. No, not yet. I tell the young man sitting in the room (still holding the ballons) oh I am so sorry this must be maintenance or something. I open the door and the man standing outside the room says "hi lisa". Boom! Like a lightening bolt I finally catch on. I invite him in and look back at the balloon man. Trying to recover from the most awkward moment ever!
The hotel after hearing my lovely story was kind enough to send complimentary balloons up to the room. Not even one said happy birthday or maybe I would have caught on. The young man that delivered them didn't have a name tag or anything hotel related that I could see. He was more than likely waiting for a tip. My new friend was ready to run and I can't imagine what he was thinking? Oh come on in and another gent sitting in the room! Thankfully I didn't do or say anything that caused trouble but I was close! The balloon man almost got the tip of his life! Big smile...... so much for my coy birthday bash cover! I think I will be sticking with the standard check in time for awhile! Xo
That is hilarious, after the fact of course. :
Wholefoods sells balloons Lisa, no more Vosges chocolate for you. I am bringing balloons next time. LOL. You should have told the drag racing story! That one still has me LMAO.
I was in the hotel room I rented waiting for my date to show. Their was a knock on the door and I opened it expecting to find her, but instead was eyeball to eyeball with......my wife.
She saw my big red car parked outside the hotel which was on the main street of our town. She already had caught me red handed once before and when she saw my car she suspected I was up to no good, and went to the front desk, showed they her ID and asked for my room number which they gave her.
Lesson to married guys: Don't hobby in your home town and don't leave your car out on the street where your wife can see it. Put it in a garage.
Oh, and my date showed up just a moment after I opened the hotel door. Neither of us was in the mood after that.
But that is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about.
When things aren't quiet exactly like what was planned.
LOL still, good one because you lived to tell the story again.
Damn! Are you still married to her or do you have one more strike left?
Back in my RSG days.
I was driving north on 128 thru Burlington, stuck in unusually heavy traffic. Called Jill to tell her I would not be on time for my appointment in Peabody, not sure how late I was going to be. She asked where I was exactly, and I told her. She asked if I would be interested in seeing XXX instead of YYY. Miss XXX was near the next exit and was someone I had previously expressed interest in. I could get to her in less than 10 minutes. I took the appointment and had a good time. Funny thing is the only reason Miss XXX was free was because her client was unable to make it since he was stuck in traffic somewhere farther down the road.
-- Modified on 8/18/2014 10:05:38 PM
My wife and I were heading to the west coast, while we were there she wanted a party. I found highly reviewed providers known for a girlfriend experience,, and picked one who enjoyed couples.
We were staying at a nice hotel. My wife perhaps being a typical woman, wanted a perfect date, and spent half the day getting ready. She prepared the room; got flowers, scented candles, chocolate covers strawberries, Champaign and glasses. She must have spent an hour picking out just the right outfit.
Being from the east coast, we had arranged to meet early, and 30 min before show time, the two of us went to the hotel bar to have a drink to get in the mood and wait. At the appointed time, nothing... we had another drink and waited.. another half hour, we get a call, "I'm stuck in traffic running a bit late, be there soon”. It was another hour and a couple of drinks later, before she arrived.
When our new friend did arrived, she looked looking stunning; we were ready for some fun. We all went to the room, opened the champagne, and the party started, with me watching a great show, and then joining. The girls started strong and about 30 min in to a 2 hour date, my wife had great climax…. and then pass out stone cold.
It took us a few minutes to realize something is off, but then we notice my wife asleep. The young lady declares that she can't continue with me,, because once engaged with a couple, it would be cheating to continue with me solo. (who knew there was a code of conduct) At this point my wife wakes up enough to say, "Please finish, I think I'm going to be sick", and then rolls over again. The young lady, seeing a woman in need, snaps into action and calls room service, for some bread and butter. ( I don’t know why)
Getting no answer, she quickly dresses in street clothing and darts out the door without saying a word. At this point, I realize it's midnight in Ca, and I'm tired and drunk. I look around to see, that she has left her bag, her clothing, and the envelop in the room, and I wonder, just for a second what would happen if I passed out too.
Ten minutes later she returned. I don't recall what happened next other then, well nothing happened next.
After she left, I realized, that while i didn't get what I was expecting, I did get a real girlfriend expense. In my 20's I had dates with a beautiful woman a several of whom were a bit neurotic , or had complicating life’s so they were always running late, or where a bit of a drama queen.
Having a fantasy night that went wrong, I had that experience with girlfriends.
It brought back fond memories, but helped me appreciate where I am today
Early on in my hobbying I set something up for a visit to DC. Had good e-mail communication ahead of my trip so everything looked OK. Arranged for her to come to my hotel, she wanted to meet first in a public place, off the clock. I suggested a nice bar for a glass of wine and everything looked good. I called her 15 min before our planned meet to let her know I was there and she was still getting ready at home! Waited another hour for her to arrive. She wanted some food so we sat at a table and she picked at her meal, told me all kinds of BS which just didn't make sense to me. More BS and we finally headed back to the hotel, now 2 hours past the arranged meeting time. It was late and there weren’t any people in the lobby so I asked her to chill for a few minutes and then come up to my room, to avoid suspicion. She said she wanted a smoke, turn off for me, and would be right up. 20 minutes later I had to go down to find her and she was hanging out with the parking attendants smoking and flirting. We finally made it up to the room, all the workers in the hotel now knew precisely what was up, I’m getting nervous. We get to the bed and she takes my pants off and is giving great head. I go down on her and it’s sweet, licking her asshole which she likes and I go for the cover when she says she wants BBFS! I’m really not into this so on goes the cover but all the drama has affected Mr. Happy, so I’m not ready for takeoff. I try to get her on top of me for 69 and she’s refusing, getting groggy with slurred speech, and then she just rolls over and says she’s tired and needs to sleep. I try to keep her going but she literally passes out in my bed. Now I’m really worried. I’m sure her boyfriend knows where she’s gone and will be wondering what’s up when she doesn’t come back. The hotel staff all know what’s up so LE could show up at any moment and I can’t get her awake. I lie awake for hours wondering what I’m going to do when one of these nightmares happens. Finally at 3:00 AM she gets up to pee and coming back to bed in the dark she walks right into the coffee table and goes down hard, hits her head on the floor. Staggers back to bed and really isn’t into getting it on, her head hurts so much. More anxiety for me. She finally gets up to leave, gets dressed and says she hopes I had a good time! I tell her I never really got off so she offers to blow me quickly, which I must say is nice except that she gagged on the cum and threw up on the floor. I cannot tell you how relieved I was to get her out of my room at 4:00 AM, didn’t even worry about what it would look like in the lobby when she would try to get a cab. Be very careful with this one, guys.
I guess be happy she didn't have a screaming match with her mom over the phone, and didn't charge you extra for puking.