Newbie - FAQ

Re:Newbie needs etiquette advice and other...
skisandboots 2970 reads
posted

Get the VIP membership if you don't have it.  This will allow you to not only read the reviews in more depth, but you can PM the reviewers and ask them any specific questions you may have.  Keep doing your homework.  From the above advice you should be able to tweak down your "what I want" list to find those that are "softer, more TLC".  Lots of reviews rave on the "enjoys what she does/less business like" providers.  You'll find them.

As for your other question, you should keep this in mind:  It is truly up to you.  

Having said that, I would strongly encourage you to: (1) Do NOT tip unless you truly feel the provider is grossly underpaid (more likely if an agency girl).  When you tip an indy, you're in effect saying, "Thanks for a great time.  Here's some more money, you didn't charge enough.  Please consider raising your rates."  If all you really wanted to say was, "thanks for a great time", that can easily be said by telling her so & by scheduling to see her again.  (2) remember that their gift wish list is not by any means a suggestion that they are expecting you to bring them a gift.  It's a way for them to steer people away from bringing them things they do NOT want (for example, not all providers want you to bring them a big bouquet of flowers or a fattening box of sweets even if the thought is nice).  Having said that, I do sometimes gift on my first visit (at the start), as it can help break the ice and establish yourself as a classy gentleman.  I do like to give THOUGHTFULL gifts to those I like on subsequent visits.  Virtually never are these gifts "pulled from" their wish lists, but rather from conversations and knowing what they would like.  When they're surprised and thrilled to receive something along these lines, it usually does make a difference in how you're treated or how they perceive you.  Afterall, they're women who want to see kindness just like anyone else would.

-- Modified on 8/13/2006 8:59:22 AM

I have raised my child from birth and now in their teens I find more time for me, and my needs requiring a bit more attention. Over the years I've dated some, but rarely allowed it to intrude into my parenting to protect feelings etc. I've not been lucky in the dating world, and had little time in the past and to be frank, enjoy life as it is, as a focused parent. Lately I've decided to attend to my needs more fully, but have two questions.

While I have read reviews etc., and find it relatively easy to spot 'what I want' I find it more difficult to spot the general personalities of the providers. i.e. softer in nature, more TLC than business. etc. Is there any way other than experiencing on a hit/miss basis to tell whether a provider is as I mentioned above? This would help a great deal when deciding on time frames etc. For instance, good conversation, the appearance of TLC and cuddling between pops would tend me make me book 2H v. 1H.

My other question is a fairly simply etiquette question. I see some providers list 'gift' that they enjoy. At what point does one begin tipping or gifting during an extended acquaintance, and does this benefit the service? Or is it as it appears simply a gift/tip for a job well done?

skisandboots2971 reads

Get the VIP membership if you don't have it.  This will allow you to not only read the reviews in more depth, but you can PM the reviewers and ask them any specific questions you may have.  Keep doing your homework.  From the above advice you should be able to tweak down your "what I want" list to find those that are "softer, more TLC".  Lots of reviews rave on the "enjoys what she does/less business like" providers.  You'll find them.

As for your other question, you should keep this in mind:  It is truly up to you.  

Having said that, I would strongly encourage you to: (1) Do NOT tip unless you truly feel the provider is grossly underpaid (more likely if an agency girl).  When you tip an indy, you're in effect saying, "Thanks for a great time.  Here's some more money, you didn't charge enough.  Please consider raising your rates."  If all you really wanted to say was, "thanks for a great time", that can easily be said by telling her so & by scheduling to see her again.  (2) remember that their gift wish list is not by any means a suggestion that they are expecting you to bring them a gift.  It's a way for them to steer people away from bringing them things they do NOT want (for example, not all providers want you to bring them a big bouquet of flowers or a fattening box of sweets even if the thought is nice).  Having said that, I do sometimes gift on my first visit (at the start), as it can help break the ice and establish yourself as a classy gentleman.  I do like to give THOUGHTFULL gifts to those I like on subsequent visits.  Virtually never are these gifts "pulled from" their wish lists, but rather from conversations and knowing what they would like.  When they're surprised and thrilled to receive something along these lines, it usually does make a difference in how you're treated or how they perceive you.  Afterall, they're women who want to see kindness just like anyone else would.

-- Modified on 8/13/2006 8:59:22 AM

Jjackflash is right-on with his advice.  Let me add to #1, by reading posts by various ladies (Ciara has Fun, CiaraPHX, Sensually Sara, Tori of Atlanta to name a few) should give you an insight into what these ladies might be like on a date.

Regarding #2, a well thought gift is usually appreciated; especially if it is the ladies B-day.  If she is coming to you, carrying flowers out of the hotel could be a little obvious.  Sometimes a gift card is better.

Regarding tipping from a provider's point of view.....

If a lady is with an agency, then she may be expecting/hoping for a tip more so than an independant lady. Since I have never worked for an agency, I can't speak to their expectations regarding tipping.

My personal perspective on tipping is that it truly is up to the gentleman to tip. I chose to set my rates at a level that is roughly equivalent to what most agencies ladies get after the agency takes their fee. This allows room for a man to tip if he chooses to, but my rate is more than adequate to allow me to not worry about whether you tip or not. If that makes any sort of sense :o)

A thoughtful gift is something that can really make an occasion special too. I do not have a "wish list" as many ladies do because in my opinion that contradicts the entire idea of a gift. Things like flowers and chocolates are nice, and honestly, just knowing you put some thought into deciding to buy me something is what matters most. I think perhaps the sweetest gift I ever got was from a gentleman on our second meeting together. In our first meeting together, I had mentioned how much I like the scent of genuine leather. I hardly even remetber making the remark, but at our next meeting, he presented me with two leather scented candles. I didn't even know they made such things! The fact that he heard and remembered a preference I mentioned in passing was very touching indeed.

That's just my two cents, take it for what its worth :o)

Thanks! Lots of good response....barring (hopefully) some Atlanta advice I'll go with it...thanks agian - M

I totally agree w/ the thoughts of gifts not being expected..... I had a gift list on my site because, to be frank, I just hated getting useless costly things that I had to pass along to someone who might enjoy it. That definitely took the joy out of receiving something unexpected. Before long, many gentleman just started bringing something off the list because they felt obligated. I have since taken the gift page off my site.

If a gentleman truly decides he wants to take the time to go "above and beyond" what is expected then he has usually spent time with me and knows where my preferences lie. I absolutely never expect a new friend to bring me a gift and I have felt bad in the past when someone brought something on his first visit...... just really made me feel like he thought it was expected..... a gift is definitely never expected.

I feel almost the same about tipping. If a regular client feels he would like to add a tip then I am always appreciative..... when a new client has been abused in the past they very often leave a tip the first visit. I always try to make it very clear this is never expected. Some gentlemen just sincerely enjoy finding something special  just for me and they bring it along.

In regards to the providers mannerisms, her thoughts and behavior..... I would just suggest searching their posts and taking a mental note of what they have commented on and the tone and nature of their web site..... these are usually two good indicators. Many providers also have blogs on their site or on National sites that also add insight into their personality.

I personally love to get to know the gentlemen that I spend time with.... in my opinion, it is always better to be seduced by a friend than a stranger.

Happy Hobbying...... know your provider (and her reputation)   kisses ~Tori

Register Now!