Fine, you're as curious as I would be, fair enough, but seriously, the real question I am genuinely curious about cannot - cause oops once before I tried - be brain stormed aloud, not even if you're serious, cause it's when you're serious that you seem the most nuts. So stop reading now and call this cute.  

There's no way to get past even the oddness of our hobby to the insanity of my 53rd birthday fantasy, I want for this December, so honestly, right now I'm looking for a party planner.

As for the party, more weird than disgusting or gangerous, which always gets me in trouble. More details available, but in one sentence as pedestrian as it seems, the fantasy is 2-5 providers for a three hour party which for the first half consists strictly of topless waitresses mingling. So...there it is.  

Very serious, but looking for planner because I am 0-5 for fantasies. No fault of the universe.