ya but when they r apart both say something ain't right. he works from home n she is doing school online n raising her kids from her 1st marriage... so they never far apart
A friend told me about here relationship. And asked for advise. No sure what to tell her So figured I would come here And ask..
She is in her mid 30's n her bf of 10yrs is in his mid 40's. as of the last 2yrs he has only had sex with her 2-3 times a yr. And it isn't even any good.(he doesn't even try . 4mins and its over. no forplay) He rather masturbate then fool around with her. She has tried everything And he just ignores it. She is 100% sure he isn't cheating b/c they r together 24/7. But she is confused why he won't hardly touch her or put out.(she has asked with no answers) over the last month he has totally iced her out by ignoring her all together And starting to put her down under his breathe. He is going thru some mental issues but she doesn't know what to do. She loves him And wants to b with him yet She feels unwanted.
I told her he is having a midlife crises or just love sex drive but can't really give her advise.. Help me with what is could b..
And what do u think or say to them?
work to test for diabetes and testosterone levels. Physical exercise also is known to help generate interest in the opposite sex.
The assumption being here is that your GF is at least a 7 or 8 on the TER scale. If she has let her body go down hill, then that could be the cause. Also, has your GF keep the interest in their relationship or has it become "same old same old? Does she dress provocatively around the house to peak his interest? Does she attempt to stimulate all of his senses, including a morning wake-up BJ?
Her only hope it to face it head on. When sober and in a good mood she should lay it out: she loves him but is concerned about their relationship. Is there anything she can do to help? Is he OK? Etc. they won't last long if it continues so she just needs to confront it and be prepared to hear things she might not want to.
she has. And he throws the blame on her.. Nothing is ever his fault. And he ignores all her thoughts like she is a no one
They clearly are in a very bad place then. Honestly he sounds like a jerk. . Has she asked him why he wants to stay in the relationship then? Porn may have something to do with this also. He may have unrealistic expectations re the way she looks and acts.
Btw. If she gives him BJs all the time with no reciprocation, sex or affection then she should stop.
she has tried the refuse service idea but he could care less. And i have heard him tell her how much he loves her curves. But its all just odd. how does a guy lose his sex drive And become a ass for no reason... isn't it the female that loses the sex drive n becomes the bitch n the here its all backwards..lol
she has done it all.. n he says he loves her shape but never tries..she blows him atleast 4-6 times a wk n he ate her out last 4yrs ago.. he has just turned into an old fart.. does nothing nor wants nothing.. yet watches porn n brags about girls hitting on him if he goes out or plays online of fb
Blows him 4-6 times a week and nothing???? WTF??? She needs to realize that she will be well appreciated by so many men out there. Tell her to start planning to leave him. Do they have kids together? He really sounds like an asshole. I'm sorry she is going through this. 
I know it is so hard to make change in a relationship after so long- but for chrissakes- she needs to do something or she's sentencing herself to a life of misery. He's already settled for that life. Tell her to not make the same mistake!
no kids together.. n has no family no money .. So she cant go even if she wanted..
Then we need to think of a plan. You say she's studying? She's making no money at all?What is his job from home? He makes the money to support both of them and pay for her school?
he does online sales n she has no income n has grants for her schooling
do some online sales of her own. Maybe multi-level marketing? Hard to fit in, but possible. How old are the kids? Do they go to school?
her kids r teens
Good, so they're presumably at school most of the day. Suggest a multi-level marketing job to her, like a sex toy company, mary kay, or 5-linx. Or an online store- maybe she could buy/sell stuff on craigslist. Or she could do web cam or phone sex.
She needs some financial independence from this dude in order to be able to make a move and make herself happy. Life's too precious to waste with someone who isn't there for you in all the ways you need them to be, and who insults you and makes you feel bad. Life is to be lived fully and enjoyed!!! Misery is not our birthright- joy and happiness is.
I can speak to this one.. there together 24/7 they need some time apart.. familiarity breeds contempt sometimes...
ya but when they r apart both say something ain't right. he works from home n she is doing school online n raising her kids from her 1st marriage... so they never far apart
thats an aweful lot of time together...i am going through the same thing here .. my wife is home all the time (lost her job of 17 years in 2013 and has not been able to find another) and i telecommute.. its a heavy thing to be up each others butt 24/7 and then expect things to be as hot as there were when you 1st meet.. sooner or later all fires burn out...unless you stoke them a littl
so what do u do? what does she do?
Annie
You don't want to hear it but this relationship is a mess and in a critical stage. If he won't discuss it, won't respond to withholding of sexual services and continues to be a jerk then it is basically over. Their only hope is counseling or she should leave. A goof counsellor could negate his resistance. If no progress here then why should she stay unless there are financial considerations?
There are plenty of doctors that can help him out with getting his testosterone levels back up to what they used to be.
Best of luck
Kisses
Elle Vegas
the disrespectful way he treats her would not be remedied by hormones. Or whore moans, for that matter. Is there a cure for acute asshole syndrome? Lol!!
Hope you're doing well, pretty lady!
i know he has gotten meds for his depression.. but he seems way better stoned which he cant do anymore bc of drug testing.. but he is way nicer n more fun that way..lol
Here's how I came to that conclusion .
He watchs porn, masturbates and accepts weekly blowjobs - his sex drive and testosterone are fine ! If I'm depressed or our testosterone is low we don't even watch porn or care about sex . Being unemployed is another time we don't care about sex . He still likes sex , but not "really" with her . Sex drive is there , trust me .
He basically insults her and hurts her feelings by stating other women are interested in him . By the mere unconcivble notion of him saying this he is looking to make her jealous , boost is self worth and plain out does no care about her - at all . Got to be one of those as he reason to say those things .
He likes her curves ....he might , but it sounds like he is just stating something nice that she wants to hear . Men are not completely stupid .
He is no longer in love with her and he's not wanting a divorce for some reason .
Hope you're doing well, pretty lady!
thanx to all who have replied. I have told her it all. She has spoken to him. And he has said there is nothing to fix. there is no trust or respect in the relationship. And Its her fault for talking to people about him . He said the only reason he is with her is b/c he loves her but that is the only reason.
What a tough situation to deal with. I'd say with no children involved, it would be a simple divorce and be done with him. With children though...that gets a bit sticky. I certainly understand the "lack of intimacy" part too well.....
Thanx. She Is thinking of moving on.
she is thinking about leaving.. She has tried to leave 4 times in the past n he crys n whatever n says things will change n she stays. but things never change for the good.. things get more blah everytime. she needs to get the guts n just go...She knows it isn't good to stay but her heart just won't let her go.
As of yesterday there was alot of tears on her part And him saying it was over b/c he has no clue what he is doing. he hasn't touched himself nor watched porn in over a wk n has no sex drive at all. that he is totally confused n loves her .. but he has never been with someone as long as her And he has no idea what he is doing.. that time will tell. she has shut her mouth at this point And just giving him his space . in hopes he will come around.