For example, are you married with kids, or single and not seeing anyone? Who is the older one, you? How long have you known her? Do you have common social interests? Have either of you introduced each other to your social circles? (Do you even have social circles?)
And what is your financial situation?
And most importantly, what would you like to see come out of this?
You might take something away from this thread that recently appeared on the Newbie Board which is pretty much the same thing.
My advice might be apropos, but I can't know for sure.
Feel free to PM me if you want.
Pardon the alias but the provider involved might be identified from my reviews.
After many visits I find my self getting emotionally involved with my ATF, and I believe it is mutual.
Through many encounter, we have the right formula for each of this. We spend most of the time after sex hanging out and I am the one who has to break things off. There is a significant age difference, but she appears to accept me as if I were her own age.
She has accommodated our activities to the point where my limitations don't exist.
She wants to see me socially off the clock.
I am not in a position to adjust my life in order to reward her beyond the donations I am happy to give when we meet. She understands and is OK with this.
In other words, this is a true GFE situation in every sense of the word.
My question is, how do manage this situation, where I am getting emotionally involved with the girl so that neither of us is hurt and that the relationship continues.
I would especially appreciate hearing from Mr. Fish
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't see a situation where no one is getting hurt. The real answer is you need to stop seeing this girl unless you are willing to let her in. Its called tapping every time you see her you are giving her hope that you have a future together. Getting hurt is part of relationships. I have seen more people hurt worse because they strung things along trying not to hurt someone. Rip that bandaid off.
I have a similar situation.. not as acute.. but difficult.. she's talking about exclusivity andasking how healthy my wife is.. I've prety much been supporting her for the last few months.. That's OK.. but I need that money to see other girls.. we really click.. very well.. but reality is a bitch.. I'm almost 30 years older than she is... I do enjoy her.. very much.. but this is going no where..
that is not a good question….you better be careful….
This is always a tough call.Remember one thing providers are providing a service and although you/her may enjoy time together its not the best way to start a relationship.I always look at it this way if she is doing this with me she will do it with someone else.
If she truly wants to be with you she shouldn't be charging you at all. You must be very careful even if you start dating her unless your going to retire her she will still be a provider that services 5-9 guys a day then comes home to you.If you can handle that then go for it.
Keep it all business because the girl you see as a hobbyist isn't the same girl you will see as a GF . Good luck
Trying to recapture that feeling you had when you were young is probably a very normal natural thing. A young lover will make that happen. If she is a great person that you click with all the better. But you will never close the age gap and she will eventually tire of the fact that regardless of the commonality of interest, the experiences you have had or don't desire to have, she has yet to enjoy. Outside of the fantasy that this " hobby" creates once life and reality take over your probably gonna see a huge difference between perception and reality.
What she thinks she wants at 27 she won't want at 37 or 47 .
And as for you is ATF something you'd be willing to accept for all time or will you still hobby and will you hobby alone and will she accept the fact your now giving " her" money to another woman.
Good luck but this is bad math IMHO
I agree with papidog. You should not underestimate the seductive power of having a younger woman make you feel young yourself. Even in the best of circumstances a big age difference is tough - even if it is great now, people change and age catches up with us all. And anticipating the answers to Mr. Fisher's questions based on your post, I suspect you are not working under the best of circumstances here - perhaps a wife or other significant other, kids etc. If you are really intent on this, sit down and write out in detail where you realistically see this being in 5 years. Be honest with yourself and put aside the romantic fantasy which will only carry you so long. I recommend an interesting book - Is It Love or Is It Addiction by Brenda Schaeffer. Romance can be as equally addictive as sex, if not more so. The book offers useful insights to help you see your behavior clearly. I have been down this road and it is rocky and often ends at a cliff.
If a woman is beautiful enough it is extremely easy to lose your common sense. Typically what is happening is that you are being worked for larger sums of money. You will eventually get a sob story bout needing to borrow $10,000. Could I be wrong? Yes, but that is usually what is going on. Usually the relationship is not real even though they might be sharing personal details that are real. No offense to you intended nor to providers, just giving you my experience. I think it happens to all of us at some point. Play with fire and you might get burned.
Sociopaths play the pity and poverty game all the time. They prey on nice people and enablers. You can't outsmart them because they don't care. No conscience. Leave. Now.
For example, are you married with kids, or single and not seeing anyone? Who is the older one, you? How long have you known her? Do you have common social interests? Have either of you introduced each other to your social circles? (Do you even have social circles?)
And what is your financial situation?
And most importantly, what would you like to see come out of this?
You might take something away from this thread that recently appeared on the Newbie Board which is pretty much the same thing.
My advice might be apropos, but I can't know for sure.
Feel free to PM me if you want.
had similar situation, you need to be clear…this is business, and you are likely being played or she wants to be sure the money keeps coming in. if you are started to have feeling you better break it off and you will see she will have others. you might find out it was all about the money. and other poster is right on, you will started to get the "i need money thing thrown at you" i have had that at least 3 times….and it was just me being played….be smart, not worth losing everything you have outside hobby over.
After many visits I find my self getting emotionally involved with my ATF, and I believe it is mutual.
Through many encounter, we have the right formula for each of this. We spend most of the time after sex hanging out and I am the one who has to break things off. There is a significant age difference, but she appears to accept me as if I were her own age.
She has accommodated our activities to the point where my limitations don't exist.
She wants to see me socially off the clock.
I am not in a position to adjust my life in order to reward her beyond the donations I am happy to give when we meet. She understands and is OK with this.
In other words, this is a true GFE situation in every sense of the word.
My question is, how do manage this situation, where I am getting emotionally involved with the girl so that neither of us is hurt and that the relationship continues.
I would especially appreciate hearing from Mr. Fisher
I think Mr. Fischer's advice (or lack of advice) was spot on. The question is what do you want this to end up as. All our circumstances are different. I fully understand the "being played" angle. However, I would remind all this is a business, but, it is 100% human interaction and feelings can start. Yes, usually it is on the guy's side, but, the ladies are humans also. Yes, I do speak from experience and was able to set the demarcation line clearly (as well as change the phone number and limit interactions and no, this person no longer provides) and stop the train before it hit the station.
I really only see a small number of providers. This is because I'm very picky and exclusive with my time/money and most importantly - my energy.
I have had great luck with the providers I do see- and I attribute it directly to communication and exclusivity. I can honestly say that I have 'hung out' with a large percentage of providers OTC and have had great rewarding relationships grow from them.
Keep your island small and you won't be disappointed. But as always- be careful !
After many visits I find my self getting emotionally involved with my ATF, and I believe it is mutual.
Through many encounter, we have the right formula for each of this. We spend most of the time after sex hanging out and I am the one who has to break things off. There is a significant age difference, but she appears to accept me as if I were her own age.
She has accommodated our activities to the point where my limitations don't exist.
She wants to see me socially off the clock.
I am not in a position to adjust my life in order to reward her beyond the donations I am happy to give when we meet. She understands and is OK with this.
In other words, this is a true GFE situation in every sense of the word.
My question is, how do manage this situation, where I am getting emotionally involved with the girl so that neither of us is hurt and that the relationship continues.
I would especially appreciate hearing from Mr. Fisher
Dont worry about hurting her, She is inviting you to stay and to be in this career wether it to pay back student loans, support a family for a single mom. Every gal has different reasons for wanting to risk her life on a daily basis as well as subject herself to psychological abuse and just sometimes not exactly the cake walk we make it appear to be! {its all wine and roses all the time. not really!}
Your helping her forget her problems and take a load off her brain for a while, Maybe you tell great jokes maybe you just excite her, Maybe you have a comforting warm presence, Maybe you make her feel safe, Maybe your nicer to her than other men she sees and this is her way to show gratitude.
Whatever it is just dont allow anything to happen to make either you hurt, Your in charge of your mind . Enjoy it and when fights or disagreements come , There is no loving reklatiionship that does not contain fighting and disagreements, To get along all the time would be overly yin with no yen, The yin yen symbol is a symbol of balance. All good all the time isnt healhty either! we tend to avoid arguments and negative emotions we find uncomfortable but they are just like any other emotions, To be able to sit with pain anger and see it just as any other emotion and allow it to take its course.
Having emotion or either person in due time arguing or maybe unintentionally hurting each other, such is life . Never borrow sorrow my friend, Think positive and dont worry about what ifs, You can cross that bridge when you reach it.
Love Angel Neurotic the crazy eccentric girl of the Boston Scene, AND PROUD OF IT BITCHES> mmmmuah,.
I wouldnt trade places with any one elses brain for the world, Being a space shot certainly is more fun than being an anal kunt! xo
Thanks Angel,
Your beauty is only exceeded by your wisdom.
I am sorry that we have not as yet met.
If she's a Sociopath she will tell you tell you anything you want to hear for her own gain. Sad thing is you will never know the truth from the lies. They are that good at it. You will be hurt and she will not care. If she is a Sociopath.
I am sorry that you seem to have had bad experiences.
The girl in question is not a sociopath and IU have several objective reasons to believe her to be truthful and sincere.
I want to thank all of you who responded to my request for you thoughtful input. I have found it very helpful and appreciate you thoughts.
Good luck, friend, in your future dealings with this provider. It's nice that you enjoy spending time with her and she "appears to accept" (your word - "appears") you, too. You say that you "believe" (again, your word) it is mutual.
But you're still paying to see her every time you see her, right? You've seen her on "many visits," so it sounds like you've racked up quite a bill seeing this lady.
And when you see her off the clock, there's a good chance you're going to pay for the dinner and movie, too, right?
And she's still getting paid by other guys too, right?
For most of us, "a true GFE" situation - a genuine girlfriend or mistress or old flame - is someone we don't need to pay to spend time with us. For most of us, we're not in a position to set up a mistress in an apartment and essentially pay for a second household (which a girlfriend or spouse or other significant other will eventually figure out).
None of us mean to be skeptical, but between the money you're shelling out, the age difference, and the obvious fact that you're already "emotionally involved," many of us are concerned you're being set up.
There's no way, IMHO, to "manage the situation." If the provider gets too attached to you, you could find yourself in a "Fatal Attraction" situation. If she's just using you (however small a possibility you thik that is), you could find yourself cajoled or blackmailed once she has your personal information.
If you feel the need for a mistress, find one who isn't also a provider. Find out who's not going to ruin your life.
Good luck, man.