I have heard what I think is a similar story, however it was told second-hand from the lady's perspective. Hard to say whether it applies in your case or not. She also had shared some of her real life with this very regular regular. At some point he had also proposed a more regular arrangement with additional activities. She did enjoy this guy's company during sessions, but most of all, she was concerned about losing a dependable regular. She had no interest in his proposal, but she felt uncomfortable telling him so. She decided that the best course was to just continue as if the conversation had never happened, and she hoped that he would get the message. Eventually, he got it, but not before going through, well, sort of what you seem to be going though. Hope this helps.