Noone can be as simple as you the way you depict the situation. It doesn't require deep analysis.
Does anyone have much experience with Seekingarrangements.com, MissTravel.com, What'sYourPrice.com? Are these escorts or regular girls? I just found out my gf has profiles on all these sites from before we were together - does that mean she is an escort?
Plus it's a very different setup, there is no compensation upfront, you just go on dates and see if the compatibility and chemistry is right in order to set up an arrangement or monthly allowance; it's somewhat expected that she is only with one benefactor (I could be wrong). If you like her and if she is a good person and good to you, I wouldn't worry too much about those profiles and the past, what we do does not define us in fact, I feel that this profession actually gives you more independence and empowerment as women because you have to be aware of many good and bad situations, learn about people and also appreciate men who treat us like human beings.
Does it really matter if she is an Escort,, She is looking to hook up with someone with more $$$$$ than you or at least spend more on her. Looks like your already kicked the curb, make your plans now..
some thing close to that happened to me years ago,, frickkken suxzz.
some thing close to that happened to me years ago,, frickkken suxzz.
....I've joined sites as an escort seeking exactly what the site says it offers - an arrangement. I didn't stay long because the site/s all turned out to be a waste of time (in my opinion - for me). I've used AdultFriendFinder before when a regular client I know from escorting wanted to swing with other like-minded couples. We only used it a handful of times but we found our experiences to be genuine and no one ever asked him for cash.
Maybe you've found **the** perfect girl for you!! After all, you're here on TER so it wouldn't be 100% fair to judge her if she has a sexy past. It might be that she's a true sexual adventurer and was on those sites to spice things up in her life before she met you. Either way, it sounds like you have a few things in common so I hope it works out for you both. : )
xoxo Laney
Well, she has told me there is no one else but me and she would never look for a sugar daddy. I only joined this site to see if anyone knew of her but I have proof she is still on these sites actively up until about a month ago, long after we started dating. She also told me yesterday she would never look for a "sugar daddy" as it is against her morals.
She said I am the first man she has had sex with in a year. But I saw a video of her being fucked by another man that was made one week before we took a two week vacation together. Now that you have all the facts - what do you think? I only came here AFTER I learned of her activities.
Thoughts?
... she may really like you and maybe she's still doing the other type of work because she **doesn't** want to lean on your for cash. The only person who can answer to her actions is the young lady herself. I'm sure you'll be able to read how sincere she is (or not) when you're looking at her face to face.
I'm sure this is really difficult for you but trust everyone here when we tell you how wonderful and genuine and smart and gifted and special so many of the women in this business are. If you can look past what society says is right and good you might find yourself quite happy with the one you're with.
Best of luck sorting it all out -
xo Laney
Thanks for the advice. I can look past it but wish should would be honest. She is leaning on me for cash and wants me to pay all her bills now. I do not worry about society, I gave her a ring and asked her to marry me Xmas eve then discovered this information. I did not ask for the ring back but I am not sure how sincere she is about me and she does have a temper.
Do I bring this up or do I try to look past it? I am really not sure what to do and this has been a huge shock to me. But I will keep my promise to marry her, just wonder if I am being taken, as one of my friends thinks (he is the only person who knows all of this).
Thanks!
you tie the knot. Don't be stupid about this or you'll regret it.
There could be two possibilities:
1. She's really in love with you and is sincere. She's not telling you about her nightlife because she's afraid you'll judge her and the relationship will be over. She continues her nightlife in case that's what happens, or simply because she loves it.
2. She's got a live one on the hook...
Keep in mind that most women in the world- regardless of background- suffer from whore stigma or the threat thereof. This stigma is often internalized, and results in a lot of denial (I'm not that kind of girl!!) and/or self-loathing (a feeling of worthlessness). The denial part will make her swear up and down to you that she's not doing this. Again, she is afraid of judgment. The self-loathing part will make her lie to herself. Hopefully it won't get that far.
If you sit down with her and get it out in the open, you can both make decisions as to the next step. But before you do that, you have to decide if you can handle anything that might come your way. Can you handle being married to someone who does this? Can you be supportive and there for her without throwing her work or her past in her face during arguments? As Laney and others have said, many providers are just amazing women, and the average guy would be lucky to be with one. But you have to be ultra secure with yourself. And you must be able to trust her implicitly. If after some deep soul searching you decide to move forward with the relationship, it's time to have the talk.
When you do sit down, you'll have to establish that trust with her. You'll have to assure her that you can handle whatever she does, but that you just want her to place her cards on the table. Explain that you know about her nightlife and tell her you're fine with it as long as she's always upfront from now on.
If after soul searching you decide you can't handle it, you'll need to break up. You can always be friends!
Do yourself and her a huge favor. Don't get married. Noone is perfect and from the looks-you see her flaws already. IMO they are not flaws but to each their own. If you are doubting then marriage is not for you-at least not with her. Good luck.
Do I bring this up or do I try to look past it? I am really not sure what to do and this has been a huge shock to me. But I will keep my promise to marry her, just wonder if I am being taken, as one of my friends thinks (he is the only person who knows all of this).
Thanks!
Every one has a past. You have a handle here-Does she know about it? Would she love you any less? I doubt it.
Fact is that we all play. Whether for pay or a free meal, it's all relative. If it's a good thing, why question it? Live in the now, forget the past and enjoy your fabulous gal. The site, the profession does not always define the person. It is not where you went but where you are going, IMO. My hunch is that- she is a sexy gal, likes to play and of course, so do you. Have fun.
I HAVE TO AGREE!!
Noone can be as simple as you the way you depict the situation. It doesn't require deep analysis.
I was trying to simplify for the sake of space and ability to explain. This is what happened and I got suspicious and uncovered it and was shocked at what I found. But I was already head over heels in love and walking away from her is a VERY hard thing to do - even though she lies about it to me.
Because it takes 2 to tango. I'm sure you weren't on all these sugar daddy sites doing "research". It's best you two sit down and have an HONEST conversation of what you want out of your relationship.
I will tell you that the only reason a woman starts to "look elsewhere" is because she feels her man is not capable of giving her what she needs. Women are not wired like men to take on multiple lovers 
I met her on a regular dating site. A friend of mine found her on SA and then What's Your Price? and Miss Travel. He showed me the stuff and said that he was suspicious of her motives with me and that there was something familiar about her. He used her alias from regular dating site and found her quickly.
I was a paid member for 3 months. The range of what girls are looking for on there covers a broad spectrum. From "I want money for being seen with you" to flat out prostitution (until they're caught). There is absolutely no shortage of girls on there perfectly willing to p4p. My in-box was full of messages wanting to do just that. I was actually contacted by an ex porn star wanting a meetup. The only drawback is there's no reviews on these women. I'm sticking with TER ladies. 
I've been an active participant on SA for about 4 years. The biggest difference....and this is something that many either can't understand, or refuse to understand.....is that the true essence of having a SugarBaby is that you are looking for a relationship, not just P4P.
Yes....you run the risk of having no reviews. Yes there are pros. But now the GUY does the screening. And if you are safe, smart, respectful, etc....it can be a phenomenal opportunity. I started out here, as you can see from 2009-2011 I was equally active here. But I found myself wanting more of a relationship than JUST the sexual activity that if primarily what we look for here.
Over the last 4 years, I've had numerous SugarBabies...some that lasted a few months, and my last SB who I met on SA and was with her for two and a half years. It takes more work to find the right girl, and like any RELATIONSHIP, it takes more work to keep it alive and healthy. But if you find the right girl, and find out that she is exclusive to you....then BBFS just by itself if amazing. I probably spent 2000/motn on my SB....but I took total care of her. Apartment, phone, shopping, travel, and I gave her a car....and to be honest....as a 61 y/o guy having a 22 y/o girl spending 4-5 days a week with you is priceless. While my last SB and I are no longer as active, I still help her. Got her a job. Got her enrolled in college. Now...I don't see her as much...but she still spends the night with me once a week. And to be honest....I look forward to being part of her life the rest of my life.
So.....want to find out if your gf is playing you? Sign up for an account on SA. Get a throw away phone, new email. Contact her. Ask her out on a meet and greet. THEN you will know. If she's REALLLY no longer active....tell her to take down her profile. If she doesn't....what does that tell you.
Well put and a great suggestion! Thanks!