I'm sure many ladies on the board are approached every now again by a nice enough sounding gentleman who wants to see you but who refuses to share ANY screening or personal information. Sometimes I'll work around the screening for outcall occasions when visiting a 4 or 5 star location or if I share drinks or dinner with someone first.
However, when someone wants to visit my incall and wants me to take a leap of faith with regard to my safety and them being a gentleman whom I can trust I'm *not* flexible. If someone calls out of the blue on a Saturday requesting same day incall with less than 5 hours notice, has a book long list of requests and they're calling from a Google voice number you can bet I'm going to want to know who this "someone" is before I reroute my entire afternoon. I don't care how many future appointments he's promising or how long he saw his last provider before she moved away. I **need** to know who he is before he enters **my home**. Any gentleman who asks me to bend these rules over and over again because he feels entitled should know that I'm secretly saying to myself "who does this guy think he is"? My instincts are already telling me that it's questionable as to whether I want to meet this person? For many of we ladies, how someone handles sharing screening information - willingly or reluctantly - is a big determinant on whether we'll accept their invitation or not. I figure if someone is going to resist respecting me right out of the gate that he probably isn't someone I want to see.
When I get to a certain point in the conversation when I know that he's *never* going to cooperate with the screening process I will try to remain as professional as possible and to refer him to an agency or even - god forbid for most of us - BackP. I think it's the best direction I can give him at that point because I'm certainly not going to direct him to other well respected independents. Once he passes brief screening with an agency he never has to do so again if he always stays with the same agency. The downside is not as many choices, not as much control over age, body type etc and not a great opportunity to build a long term friendship (like some gents prefer) due to high turnover. With BP, the gentleman has unlimited choices and may not have to jump through as many hoops when it comes to scheduling however the possibility of bait and switch, being robbed or being beaten up is greater. I don't know why anyone would ever want to risk the latter when all they have to do is share **something** with a well reviewed, well respected and long time trusted provider but I guess some actually like the risk factor and would rather take the gamble.
In summation, I'm noticing more and more resistance to screening. I understand that the community has grown and that it's not always the best time in someone's life to share personal details. However, if you're doing your homework and choosing me (or some other well respected provider anywhere) part of the reason you're choosing us is because we do our homework too!!! Please respect us and please respect our screening requests. If not, we ladies are going to have to start writing reviews on you gentleman so that we have a way of verifying you. LOLOLOL!! I'm teasing of course! Just trying to lighten it up before I close out!!
Enjoy your Sunday all!
xo Lane
Laney, I have been extremely fortunate hobbying around. I got lucky early on and hooked up with a couple astoundingly influential ladies that over the years have gotten my back as they white listed me. I am forever grateful visit them when I can to show my appreciation.
That said, I have been extremely reluctant to give up all my defenses and bare my identity to providers, agency or independent. Men fear vulnerability, the possibility of having their secret life exposed to a significant other, or other reasons.
If a provider is adamant and will not bend, then I have moved on. As should other hobbyists that won't comply. I still regret some missed opportunity with a dream date, but your safety is worth more than my horn blowing!
Great topic! Eom
deems necessary to stay safe. If a guy doesn't want to comply with the requested screening info, then he should move on.
Providers: Are a few benjamins really worth the risk of an unsafe situation? I think not.
Because they think we don't pay attention to the answers receieved. -e-
But a few questions.
First, the way you've written it (using the word "conversation," besides saying he's "nice sounding") I must wonder why you're even using the telephone at this point. Most girls won't. I'm sure you'll correct me if I mis-understood but you must admit it's easy to be confused on this the way it's written.
Either way, it seems to me you've let him waste your time. I think most girls would have bailed much earlier.
I also don't know if there's anything to support your supposition that more and more guys are refusing to provide screening info. I certainly haven't heard anyone else complain about it.
All that said, I have no issue with a girl requiring whatever screening advice she needs to feel safe. Just as I hope she won't have an issue with me absolutely refusing to provide personal information. Good thing what I am willing to provide seems to satisfy all the girls I want to see. And none of them advertise on Backpage.
...I used to ignore their calls thinking that unless they email me first that they shouldn't be using my number. Over the past year I've done a 360 on that way of thinking - or at least a 180. If someone calls and I'm in the mood to chat I'll let them leave a message and will call them back directly if they sound like a stand up guy and **if** I'm in the mood to chat.
On other occasions when I don't feel like talking I'll follow the same protocol as when I do - let them leave a message and then call them back anywhere from 10 minutes to 60 to see what their questions are (giving me time to mentally transition). I try to provide the details they're looking for (and to get details from them as well) and then I get right off the phone. Most of the time it takes less time than an email exchange.
I used to have a reservation form on my web site that asked for references, screening details etc. I saw a post on TER about guys not liking them so I removed it and tried to simplify things by going back to email to set rendezvous up. As I mentioned above at some point I started getting more calls than I get email SO - as any good business person would do -- I started answering my phone. : )
You are asking for time wasters and then complaining about it.
If a guy doesn't cooperate don't see him.
I just summed up what took you 4 paragraphs to say.
Is it possible you thought you logged onto your Facebook account by mistake when you posted this?
.... and I don't know why you decided to start following me around on the boards after my posting once on the General Discussion board about your tone and attitude toward women being negative and degrading (I kind of think you don't like them at all).
I took 4 paragraphs to discuss something reasonable. This is a discussion board. If I were to turn the coin I could point out that your posts are quite prominent all over the general discussion board. In fact, I'm certain your comments and whatever else it is you say in your posts (I'm not following you as your board contributions are of no interest to me - nothing personal, I tuned into a few things you said and decided to tune back out) cover more than 4 pages, probably 40 and possibly 400 -- but I'm not you and I truly and honestly don't care. It was a perfect Sunday here in Florida and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. I see you spent your day glued to the boards. Happy Sunday lover!
I'm far from being listed as a top poster on any board.
Perhaps it's fair to say that you do some endless ranting of your own and that you should (maybe) check yourself before you go around trying to check others?
Or did you mean for all of those posts to go onto your twat (narcissist) account? : )
-- Modified on 1/19/2015 12:27:27 PM
From the client point of view, I am reluctant to visit ladies who do not require verification (references, verification services, referrals, personal info). Professionals are attentive to their own safety. As the OP points out, part of the reason I choose a companion is because she does her homework too. When I arrive at her door we are both comfortable that we are meeting a safe person who knows the rules of the game.
The community of escorts and clients has evolved a system of trust but verify. If someone is going to invite me into her home it is resonable to expect she will want to know I am OK.
Many years ago before the internet, we relied on references and the person's voice. Maybe you remember answering the frequent question, "Who else have you seen lately?" When the internet made it possible to easily verify people, I was initially reluctant to share the info. Once I did and realized I would be welcomed by amazing escorts, it was pretty easy to realize the reward outweighted any risk.
Thank you on behalf of all providers out there. You're exactly who we'd like to meet!!
xoxo Laney
And I feel the same way with the ladies. There has been a time or two that I did not care for the answers to my questions....and I did not see them. I the Lady does not feel safe, or I don't....move on.
You have your procedures, rules and ways and as long as that works for you GREAT. Just like the guys have their procedures, choices and ways, you are entitled to have things the way you want them.
We like to do extensive screening too. You should not assume the agencies are not screening. It's simply not worth the risk for an agency, whose name is out there, to send somebody to an unknown situation. I couldn't sleep at night if that was the case.
I find that it is a waste of time even referring them to anyone (not even bp girls, lol). If he's being difficult, just say "unfortunately I cannot see you without this information, good luck with your search".
Cut it short and move on to a gentleman who actually READ your site to see that you require screening to see anyone new 