I started by saying "I presume my situation is normal" which reminded me of the expression SNAFU (situation normal - all fucked up)... I'm wondering if you can give some advice on what aging has done to me from a sexual perspective...
So, I'm in my upper 40s... I have never had any trouble getting an erection. I have, however, found that it's gotten harder to cum... Back in the day, (e.g., college) 3 times a night was no problem, but now I'm a one hit wonder. Also, unless it's been a few days since my last O I sometimes struggle having an orgasm in a condom with a typical lower service level provider (i.e., the type who is trying to get you to cum in 5-10 minutes). I do find that foreplay helps a lot. For example, I occaisionally visit a spa where they bathe you and massage you before sex and I never have trouble in that situation (feeling all clean and pampered gets me ready without fail).
So my question is whether this seems normal... Apparantly there's a big market for drugs to improve male performance, but I'm not sure if it applies to me. Should I take the phrase "erectile disfunction" literally? In other words, since I have no trouble with erection am I not a candidate for these meds?
I've read in men's magazines what implies that a guy (presumably somewhat younger) should basically be able to cum when desired but have the "control" to decide when that should be (and of course to create a nicely synchronized experience with his partner) Back in college I never really had this... As I said, I could come a lot of times back then but it was the situation where I'd "reach the point of no return" and that was that.
So can you share some perspectives on whether this evolution seems normal, and if you'd expect that I could improve my situation (e.g., get back to being able to have multiple orgasms).
Thanks!
In my younger days, I am 63 now, I was so quick to cum, I almost did it in my pants when a sexy lady passed by and we made eye contact. Over the years slowly it started to change. Now I can take a lady through several "O's" and finish the alloted time with my own. The more time we have together, the
more 4 play we have. Life is great!
So, yes, it is normal, and inevitable;, however, just like an old machine can be well cared for and continue to last years past its time, so can we.
Start with your diet. Do you keep well nourished? Are you overweight? Do you check with your doctor if you have any vitamin deficiencies? (Vitamin D is the most common.)
Next do you exercise and stay fit?
Are you getting enough rest?
Emotionally, are things going smoothly for you at work and at home?
A deficiency in any of these areas can affect your ability to have sex, and will require some solution.
I'm fifty-eight and in the last few years I made decisions to improve all the about catagories. While I can't claim to be the sex machine I was in my twenties, I still do quite well and intend to stay in the game for years to come.
The way I figure it, my body and my bank account should give out about the same time.
That's my plan, anyways. 8o)
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The way I figure it, my body and my bank account should give out about the same time.
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Aaah yes, clearthynker,
Back in college...if you are in your upper 40s, there's simply no point in comparing anything with what happened back in college, with the exception of comparing your bank account, which should be bigger and healthier by now [isn't that what college degrees are for?]
Yes, you are as normal as can be. No, you don't have ED, although the pharmaceutical companies would probably love for you to think so and throw some free samples of PDE inhibitors at you left and right. Yes, your sexuality is changing - now it's more about the journey rather than the destination. It's going to take longer for you to climax, your refractory period may be longer and you may not always be able to come on command. So what? That's life. I bet you can't run as fast as you could when you were in college, or play an equally rough game of football without feeling it the next day. Is that "normal?" You bet it is. It's called "aging" and it catches up with all of us.
If you want to have "multiple orgasms," I suggest you put yourself in the hands of a very skilled tantrika who specializes in prolonging pleasure, eliciting dry orgasms, etc. You will learn a whole different level of control that resembles very little to what went on for you in days of yore (or shall we say youth?)
Repeat after me - it's the journey, not the destination,
The Love Goddess
clearthinker, I have had the same experience. There are times when it takes me hours to cum.
So LG, are you saying a PDE inhibitor would make it happen quicker? I googled it and just found a bunch of techno-medical language
Oh, ok, I thought you meant that a PDE inhibiter would make me cum quicker.
“I went home alone,” I said, “to my own home, and all by myself, and-”
Thanks to the LG and to all of you others who have posted! It's great to get feedback on this topic in a non-judgemental and supportive way.
Wonderful answer with great information! Thank you.
Just count me in as another to vote you perfetly normal.
I have been gradually been going through what you describe for several years now, I am 52. When I was in my mid forties I oftentime saw five or six different women a day, sometimes for several days in a row. Each year it seems to take me a bit longer to cum and a bit longer to recharge. It is a rare day that I can cum three times, and usually it requires three different, very sexy women, with at least some skin on skin contact, like a BBBJ or a HJ to finish.
The good ews is that I can always last long enough to bring my sexual partners to climax, and never have to apologize for "that never happens to me" lol
One thing that might help if climaxing is that important to you is the good old fashioned hand job, there is no subsitute for skin on skin contact and obviously BBFS is not an object in the hobby. The look of satisfaction when your lady finally gets you off after an hour or more of trying is priceless. lol
after reading of so many guys of our age who can't even "get it up" I am thankful my junk still works
Add me to the list and it really came on in the last year as I just turned 50. Funny thing is, and it must be purely a mental connection but I have had a few providers that still can get me in 10-15 minutes. I've had others that gave up after an hour.
As someone mentioned above, I have never had an issue when I visit an amp. Just something about those wonderful Asian ladies. Even had one get two out of me in an hour recently which almost never happens any longer.
Since this started, I have been a lot more selective about who I see and obviously, who I repeat with.