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The Erotic Highway

Re: SO -should I hold back ?
TheLoveGoddess 2022 reads
posted

Dear EasyCompany,

With the risk of seeming just a little glib, I think you are looking a gifthorse in the mouth here [not implying that your SO is a horse, mind you]. Do you KNOW how LUCKY you are? A multi-orgasmic SO at the age of 55?!?! Once or twice a week????

I can't tell you what to do, but if you think giving your SO less orgasms will make her want it more, think again. Most likely she will be resentful and or/concerned and wonder why you aren't into her anymore. If you have sexual needs that go beyond hers, AND you have spoken about it "to no avail," then avail yourself of someone else or something else - I guess. Enough said.

Some people just don't know how good they have it,
The Love Goddess

EasyCompany3716 reads

LG, I will try to be brief.
I am 62 yrs old, SO is 55.
We are both in great shape, no performance problems.
SO is multiogasmic; she has 3-6 full out bed shakers during a session.

The problem: One [perhaps 2] sessions per week fulfills her.
But not me! With this pattern, I have only one climax per week, which leaves my desire un-sated.
Although the sex with SO is as good or better than with any Provider, I am compelled to look elsewhere about once per week.
We have talked to no avail.
Perhaps if I simply shot my wad, without giving SO so many orgasms, she would then want sex more often ?

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TheLoveGoddess2023 reads

Dear EasyCompany,

With the risk of seeming just a little glib, I think you are looking a gifthorse in the mouth here [not implying that your SO is a horse, mind you]. Do you KNOW how LUCKY you are? A multi-orgasmic SO at the age of 55?!?! Once or twice a week????

I can't tell you what to do, but if you think giving your SO less orgasms will make her want it more, think again. Most likely she will be resentful and or/concerned and wonder why you aren't into her anymore. If you have sexual needs that go beyond hers, AND you have spoken about it "to no avail," then avail yourself of someone else or something else - I guess. Enough said.

Some people just don't know how good they have it,
The Love Goddess

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philogyny2188 reads

It seems likely that you could persuade her to try some of these items without even bringing sex into the conversation.

Fish Oil
There is an earlier thread thread about this.
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=17835&boardID=20&page=1
There appears to be a relative consensus that in addition to the potential positive sexual effects of daily fish oil consumption, there are other positive health effects as well. If you decide that your SO and yourself should try fish oil capsules, a typical dose would be 1 1200 mg capsule per day. I would suggest the "enteric coated" capsules, as they make it less likely to get a "fishy taste" if you burp.

Vitamin D
Vitamin D can also affect libido. Up to 50% of the population may have "below normal" Vitamin D levels. Again, there appear to be other positive general health effects as well. I don't know of any real downside or negative side effects to taking 1000 mg of Vitamin D3 per day. There are also some earlier threads about this.

Acai concentrate capsules
To be perfectly honest, I have done little or no reading/research on this. My SO swears that these are responsible for an increase in her libido. Quite frankly, even if the placebo effect is responsible I'm not going to reject the results in her case.

Exercise
This is of course always recommended. If the two of you can go walking together, for example, it may have even more of the desired effect.

Other herbal "remedies"
Some people swear Ginseng or Ginkgo Biloba increases their libido, for example. I guess my feeling is that if you can afford it, and as long as it's something that isn't expected to have any negative side effects, why not try it? (assuming she can be persuaded).

Your question "Perhaps if I simply shot my wad, without giving SO so many orgasms, she would then want sex more often ?", seems to imply that you currently are consciously delaying your orgasm. Is this is the case? Are the majority of her orgasms are occurring during intercourse? If this is the case, it seems worthwhile that you could go ahead and try releasing more quickly for a few weeks to see what happens, without causing permanent damage to your relationship.

I do understand that a mismatch in libido can indeed be frustrating, even though it may not necessarily generate a lot of empathy. I guess we should welcome each other to the "LUCKY PARTNER'S Club"!
Here's to hoping you can also join the "EXTREMELY LUCKY PARTNER'S Club"!

Some people think that just because they have it good (and are grateful for that), it doesn't mean that it can't get even better!
philogyny


-- Modified on 3/20/2011 1:17:20 AM

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EasyCompany1974 reads

Yes, you are on the mark when you say that I intentionally delay my climax for her pleasure.
I may take some of your tips, although most of the OTC remedies are unproven.

As, LG suggested, i will try to view the glass half-full.

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NickCharlesIII1443 reads

Actually, recent evidence regarding the benefits of many supplements is more positive than many of us believe.

http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/visualizations/snake-oil-supplements/

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nxtyme1629 reads

WoW !  what a great visualization chart !

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philogyny1185 reads

I do have some anecdotal experience with postmenopausal multi-orgasmic women in that age range.
(sample size = 1) There does seem to be a correlation between the length of the most recent "session"/number of orgasms and the level of interest in how soon the next session occurs. This is not just my observation but her observation as well.

I am working on my RE problem (sorry folks, NOT the masturbation related type), and she has even told me that if I can get to the point where I can finish in xx minutes, she would be willing to double the number of sessions we have per week.

I do have a couple of additional thoughts that may or may not be useful in your particular situation.

"Assisted masturbation"
This may or may not work as a method for the two of you to address the libido imbalance. This can take different forms, whether it's "Russian" (titty fuck) or her rubbing your "taint" while you masturbate. Basically, just whatever alternative(s) to intercourse that can be worked out as a mutually appealing agreeable compromise during the interval between sessions.

Position(s)
You did mention that you are both in "great shape", but it is possible that exertion or discomfort could be part of the issue. Sideways positions that require less exertion such as "spooning" or "sideways doggie" have the advantage of economy of motion; no one having to support their own weight or someone else's. Much easier on knees, legs, hips, arms, lower back. If you have haven't been using any sideways positions, it can feel awkward at first and take some patience to get position, insertion, alignment, and motion all coordinated. Definitely worth the initial patience required. Great position for G spot stimulation. Because her legs are together, the added friction may require additional lubrication.  As people grow older, or during intervals of illness or injury, "sideways" can sometimes be one of the few options available. Other times, the fact that less exertion is required can sometimes mean more frequency :)

philogyny


-- Modified on 3/21/2011 12:42:10 AM

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madiba512195 reads

We can be happy about our sex lives, and still want them to be better.  Many people's feelings about this come from an insecure place.  Enjoy the journey together, with respect and good communication.


Posted By: philogyny
It seems likely that you could persuade her to try some of these items without even bringing sex into the conversation.

Fish Oil
There is an earlier thread thread about this.
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=17835&boardID=20&page=1
There appears to be a relative consensus that in addition to the potential positive sexual effects of daily fish oil consumption, there are other positive health effects as well. If you decide that your SO and yourself should try fish oil capsules, a typical dose would be 1 1200 mg capsule per day. I would suggest the "enteric coated" capsules, as they make it less likely to get a "fishy taste" if you burp.

Vitamin D
Vitamin D can also affect libido. Up to 50% of the population may have "below normal" Vitamin D levels. Again, there appear to be other positive general health effects as well. I don't know of any real downside or negative side effects to taking 1000 mg of Vitamin D3 per day. There are also some earlier threads about this.

Acai concentrate capsules
To be perfectly honest, I have done little or no reading/research on this. My SO swears that these are responsible for an increase in her libido. Quite frankly, even if the placebo effect is responsible I'm not going to reject the results in her case.

Exercise
This is of course always recommended. If the two of you can go walking together, for example, it may have even more of the desired effect.

Other herbal "remedies"
Some people swear Ginseng or Ginkgo Biloba increases their libido, for example. I guess my feeling is that if you can afford it, and as long as it's something that isn't expected to have any negative side effects, why not try it? (assuming she can be persuaded).

Your question "Perhaps if I simply shot my wad, without giving SO so many orgasms, she would then want sex more often ?", seems to imply that you currently are consciously delaying your orgasm. Is this is the case? Are the majority of her orgasms are occurring during intercourse? If this is the case, it seems worthwhile that you could go ahead and try releasing more quickly for a few weeks to see what happens, without causing permanent damage to your relationship.

I do understand that a mismatch in libido can indeed be frustrating, even though it may not necessarily generate a lot of empathy. I guess we should welcome each other to the "LUCKY PARTNER'S Club"!
Here's to hoping you can also join the "EXTREMELY LUCKY PARTNER'S Club"!

Some people think that just because they have it good (and are grateful for that), it doesn't mean that it can't get even better!
philogyny


-- Modified on 3/20/2011 1:17:20 AM

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EasyCompany1175 reads

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