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The Erotic Highway

did you ever consider...
lilli 1980 reads
posted

...that maybe she just does not enjoy receiving oral sex? in fact, she could dislike it to the point where it completely turns her off to the idea of any other sexual activity for the time being. i am one of those women..if cunnilingus is the first activity a partner decides to engage in with me, he would find me very cold and unaroused, deadly silent and very uncomfortable, much like your describe this woman's reactions. so perhaps try to initiate a sexual encounter which does not include that act, and see if her responses are the same.

oh...and it goes without saying, the two of you obviously need to learn how to communicate. if you are comfortable enough to have sex with this woman, you should be comfortable enough to sit down and discuss your sexual needs, desires and issues like two adults.

ticofl4022 reads

Hello Lg, i have been seeing this civie and she does not seem to have any sexual desire or pleasure, i love to do oral and when i do it to her she does not do nothing no movement no moans no emotion, i tried with a vibrator and same thing, it looked more of an enconveience than anything else, she normally asked me to stop and we end up not doing anything else.
so my question would be, what could we do to to get her more sexual arause or enjoy sex
thanks for your help

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TheLoveGoddess2378 reads

Well, ticofl,

That's the 64,000 dollar question, isn't it? Without knowing the particulars of this woman's life, her age, her health condition IN DETAIL, a hormonal analysis, the type of birth control she uses and how it affects her personally, her past sexual history, her feelings about and for you, her stress levels, etc., etc., etc., it's IMPOSSIBLE to figure out why she is not enjoying herself.

My advice for her is to do her own research, which would involve having sex with at least 10 other men (or more) to whom she is wildly physically attracted - if there's no reaction, then she should visit with a gynecologist who is also trained holistically in terms of vitamins, hormones and supplements so that she can figure out what's wrong. And we would need to know what's wrong in order to recommend what to do to get her "more sexually aroused or enjoy sex."

Send her to a sex therapist, that's the next step,
The Love Goddess

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lilli1981 reads

...that maybe she just does not enjoy receiving oral sex? in fact, she could dislike it to the point where it completely turns her off to the idea of any other sexual activity for the time being. i am one of those women..if cunnilingus is the first activity a partner decides to engage in with me, he would find me very cold and unaroused, deadly silent and very uncomfortable, much like your describe this woman's reactions. so perhaps try to initiate a sexual encounter which does not include that act, and see if her responses are the same.

oh...and it goes without saying, the two of you obviously need to learn how to communicate. if you are comfortable enough to have sex with this woman, you should be comfortable enough to sit down and discuss your sexual needs, desires and issues like two adults.

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ticofl1603 reads

i have tried talking to her but she is does not like to talk about it, and i laso have tried other things besides oral sex, like i said i tried using a vibrator toy, and there is no response from her like im not doing nothing, i dont claim to be the best at oral but if what you say is true, you and her would be the only 2 women that do not enjoy oral.
i belive thar LG is right this girl need some proffecional  help to fix her issues

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CarlyLady1726 reads

the brain. If my mind is not turned on, having somebody propose a sex act won't (always) do it. Like, if I'm in sweatpants and my mind is whirring with activity about work/projects, and I've been on the move all day...then my bf says "It would be really hot if you'd do that naked, let's do _____ or how about I ________." I will look at him like he just asked me to dye my hair purple.

I personally find that when I take time to relax, and cultivate sensuality in other areas of my life (food, drink, taking care of my mind and body) I feel much more connected to my body, and I feel more sexually aware and responsive...I'll get turned on more spontaneously. As a couple, take time to indulge in sensual pleasures such as massage, looking at and touching beautiful things (art, nature) and enjoying a meal together (not just a pizza or burger, but quality foods that require time to be savored and appreciated). Dress nicely for each other (she'll feel more confident, desirable, and more attracted to you) and maybe even treat her to a manicure and pedicure. I know this all sounds REALLY girly, and I apologize, but dressing up for a bf always used to make me feel sexy, no matter how long we'd been together, so it can work :-) You are asking for advice on how to turn on a girl, so here it is. Feeling beautiful & desirable is a huge turn-on for a woman. Now, if her issues are physical/psychological, this won't help, but these are little things that a lot of guys overlook.

Also, about vibrators: the sensation can be really intense....which can be really good, or really uncomfortable. It's sensitive down there. I usually handle a toy MUCH more lightly than a guy will. So maybe give her the toy to play with, and watch what she does (if you haven't already tried that) or take her to a toy store and tell her to treat herself to a few goodies :-)

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lilli1832 reads

there are many women who do not enjoy receiving oral sex, despite pop culture insistence on the contrary. just the fact that it is easier for you to believe that she is sexually dysfunctional than the possibility that she simply does not enjoy the particular sex acts you choose to engage in, speak to a lack of sexual depth and maturity on your part. and by the by, many women do not enjoy vibrators/dildos/etc. either...we are all complex sexual beings and are stimulated and wired in different ways.

and Carly is absolutely right in that the brain is the largest sexual organ. if her head is not in the right place, and she is not completely at ease in the relationship in general, then sex of any sort is going to be of very little interest to her. you have not shared anything about the nature of your relationship with this woman, only your dissatisfaction with your sex life. but nothing exists in a bubble. i would gather that your relationship likely suffers from issues of communication and compatibility in other areas as well.

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TheLoveGoddess2471 reads

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casinostocks1378 reads

sexual organ, but the most IMPORTANT organ to trigger sexuality and sensuality, when it comes to sex. Factually, the largest sexual organ is in fact your skin ;)

On another note: great thanks and gratitude to both LG and all the wonderful lady contributors on this board. I have really learned so much form the "ER. Hwy" (how's that for a nickname, huh?) and I feel that I have really grown as a person. I am much cooler and calmer with regards to my treatment of opposite sex and have learned to treat women not as an equal to my own gender, but even better. JMHO, CS~

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mattradd2009 reads

You haven't said anything about how long you've been "seeing this civie, but one way to get to know each other is talking about your dating and sexual history. You might get a clearer picture of how she experiences sex and why. I dated a woman, when I was in college. She was a legal secretary, and a real sweetheart, but she just laid there, during sex, just like what you're describing. I started sharing my dating and sexual experiences, and then she opened up that she had been raped. She was just having sex with me because she cared for me, and wanted to be with me. In most any relationship, woman often feel more open to sexual intimacy once there has been some emotional intimacy started through dialog.

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