some of my very best friends are hookers, whores, sluts, or whatever label you want to use for what you ladies do for a living. Good manners and punctuality don't go out the window just because you make your living with your clothes off.
For the record, I find it just as unacceptable when it happens the other way around and a guy disrespects YOUR time. I have been doing this for much longer than you, trust me on this (forty years as a matter of fact. lol) and I have NEVER NCNS, I will confess to having had to cancel occasionally over the years, but never have I canceled without getting word to the lady. I want my time respected, the least I can do is to return the favor.
I realize this isn't going to apply to most established providers because I've only ever had one established provider not make an appointment and it was only because she fell ill the night before and let me know way in advance. But these assembly line, First Come First Fuck backpage princesses are unbelievable. Here's a typical situation:
Its 8 pm, you've just seen her ad and so you text. She responds immediately saying she's available and gives you an approximate location. You google it and maps tells you it will take 40 minutes to get there and so you text back asking if thats ok. She says "Sure babe. No problem." So you drive the 40 minutes all excited about dipping your pecker in some young newcomer who uses way too many smilies. Upon arrival you text saying you are here. Then you never hear anything back. Now you are 40 minutes from home staring out the rainy windshield in some supermarket parking lot while a truck driver eats cheeseburgers next to you and you contemplate why life sucks so much all the while little miss debutant is swallowing somebody else's penis who happens to live closer than you. You realize its a complete catch 22. Drive ahead of time and call when you are close and she may be busy or not working that night. Call and then drive and you get what you got tonight. There is only luck and for that kind of money its just stupid.
I say keep your promises on both ends and give everyone a check mark tally section if they don't come through.
Also, before the standard "That's why you should only see established providers" response, understand that not all of us can afford 350 and up every time we feel like fucking. Some of us do this a few times or more a week.
It goes both ways... some times it goes both ways... as for an established provider it still happens. I might have an honorarium a little more than some but do not appreciate the NCNS. I happen to enjoy the company of a gentleman who appreciates my time and knows that it is important just as his.
I do understand that some hobbyists would love to see certain established providers more than often but on my end .... it seems to be "shopping"... Just like us girls like to do but a little different.... LOL
All I would ask is a little common courtesy just like any woman or man.
Good luck in all of your adventures and have loads and loads of fun!!!!!
Love
Zana
It definitely goes both ways and thats why there should be some place on here to write out what happened and then allow the other person to respond. That way it allows for miscommunications to be resolved without any negativity and also it will discourage others from doing so. Look, I am aware that things come up and there's all sorts of last minute things that can derail an appointment. All I'm trying to minimize are the times when its done on purpose for gain on both sides. Thanks for the wishes, good luck to you as well.
and for those of you on your high fucking horses, NCNS happens at all ends of the provider spectrum and happens all too often even with "well reviewed" providers.
I think having a tally of how often a woman (or man) wastes hours of someone else's time without so much as an apology or an explanation would be a GREAT tool to have in our provider selection tool bag.
NCNS SUCKS, regardless of whether it's the guy or the gal doing it, on that fact I would hope we can all agree. Why shouldn't the guilty parties not be called out for it? I say name names and create a data base so we can avoid repeat offenders.
I have been at this awhile, and I have NCNS a client exactly one time.
Once!
And it was for very good reason. I was in handcuffs in the back of an unmarked car on my way to jail.
I recently saw him again and apologized profusely. Obviously, I didn't explain why I stood him up but I still feel terrible about it. I HATE that I did that to him. He's a good client and I nearly ruined our relationship.
I am super attentive to time though, both my clients' time and my own. If I am even running five minutes behind schedule, I will contact the client to let him know. I have told my clients to whom I am very close - if I don't answer the phone when it's time for your visit, something is very, very wrong.
I think the sad truth of this business is that many women treat this business as a way to make some quick cash. They either have no idea about manners/customer service or they simply don't care. This is going to sound very goofy but I pride myself on being a good *hore, manners and punctuality included.
some of my very best friends are hookers, whores, sluts, or whatever label you want to use for what you ladies do for a living. Good manners and punctuality don't go out the window just because you make your living with your clothes off.
For the record, I find it just as unacceptable when it happens the other way around and a guy disrespects YOUR time. I have been doing this for much longer than you, trust me on this (forty years as a matter of fact. lol) and I have NEVER NCNS, I will confess to having had to cancel occasionally over the years, but never have I canceled without getting word to the lady. I want my time respected, the least I can do is to return the favor.
I agree... Things arise on both sides which makes things difficult for everyone. I do not understand on either side whether it be from a Provider or a Hobbyist to to it for "gain".
To me there is no gain just distrust. It is difficult for everyone. The gain aspect is on the one side is who is cheaper to "play with" and the other is who can I make more $$$ from. It makes no sense either way. Just hurts the good ones.
Thanks for all of your great opinions... You are wonderful.
Love
Zana
There are plenty of other Providers to see. If one NCNS don't ever see her again. Even if she calls to reschedule with you.
Russ if you're spending 350 for a Session, IMO you're spending way too much.
Why don't you help out old Sweet and Adorable and PM the OP her contact info? Surely you want to help out her business by steering guys her way....oh wait, I forgot, she'd rather get $100 per BBFS session with you than see other guys and be paid fairly for her services. And I guess OP is more interested in real girls than fictional providers, so on second thought never mind.
After countless mentions of his provider and numerous queries by other hobbyists as to her identity, ROGM has yet to reveal who she is. I'll bet if his mystery provider (very likely fictitious) knew he was praising her all over TER and of all the potential business she was missing out on because he keeps her to his frugal, creepy self, she would drop his sorry ass like a hot potato.
If she's real (big if) and willing to BBFS a near illiterate for $100 a pop my only interest in getting her info is to ensure I don't book with her inadvertently! The thought of my boys getting anywhere near where ROGM has been turns my spine to ice!
It seems you have either the worse luck when it comes to hobbying or else you're not doing proper research and are picking the wrong ladies. Every post you make seems to be about some disaster of an experience, that I would expect more from a newbie then from a veteran like yourself. Maybe you should consider seeing providers a little less often, so you can afford a quality, reviewed, TER lady. You may just find that a lot of your hobby woes will go away. You definitely need to switch things up, because what you're currently doing isn't working to your satisfaction.
A quality reviewed TER lady is one type of experience and I have seen my share. But it is also the most vanilla of experiences and the most expensive. But that's beyond the point. The point is that there should be acceptable standards of practice on both sides of the donation envelope, enforced by the tools we have at our disposable or adding those we don't have. Its a bit disappointing to me that providers constantly find new ways to minimize their negative experiences and maximize their profit, while the prevailing attitude amongst us hobbyists is simply one of acceptance and defeat. I've never complained without proposing some way to avoid such an experience again and improve the hobby as a whole.
That would seem to be the most logical thing to do and it gives a provider the opportunity to respond. That said, part of the challenge is that the fresh new providers that you like to see (as opposed to the quality established providers) may not be aware of TER or understand how something like this could impact their business. Also, they may not give a shit because they're not posting here...they're posting BP.
I'm confused by the context in which you're using the term "vanilla" in this instance. Is it the thrill of a lady that's not reviewed, or are you looking for a kinky experience that you don't feel an established provider can give you?
It's the risk factor and also the thrill that you really don't know what you are about to get. It's a much different experience and a lot of times it's a more personal experience because they haven't detached themselves completely. There's also a thrill to seeing massage only providers and there being enough mutual attraction that it becomes more than that. Probably vanilla is not the right word here because I can't think of any experience I've had with an established provider that I regretted. On the other hand, I've had a few with unreviewed providers that i wish I hadn't go through mostly because the pics were fake
and trying to get an escort experience at the price of a massage experience.
Puke.
You know when people ask me what I hate most about sexwork, specifically massage? It's the same answer every damn time. I'm annoyed and disgusted by clients who try to get more out of me than I offer. And this last part will not be a surprise to anyone here. The clients who ask for more repeatedly ask for more knowing full well I do not offer more and never, not once, have offered extra cash for the extra services they desire. I provide a fantastic service at a near perfect price. Why must clients ask for more
The last massage girl I slept with wanted to date me. It was her idea to have sex. I demanded nothing but an hour of her time. I'm not cheap nor abusive of any situation. I'm a fit and attractive youngish male who got into the hobby as a result of an illness that took me out of normal life situations. Ive mentioned before that I've dated several providers. There is more to this hobby than stereotypes but thanks for your kind words.
Right there... you've admitted to enjoying the thrill of the unexpected. so the complaint that you're tired of NCNS, despite knowing that you're taking a legitimate risk? that just doesn't fly with me. I'm not sure what you mean by "personal experience"; new girls are often so nervous that they allow their limits to be pushed ( i know I did), and that's not the equivalent of a "more personal experience". Not to mention, when a lot of girls first start, theyre awkward and nervous. You enjoy girls who are nervous and awkward? you also contradict yourself by saying that more experienced providers "detach" themselves from the encounter, but that you've never had an experience with an established provider that you've regretted. Like, despite that you felt the "established provider" was disconnected from the experience, you felt those experiences were better than those with newer, unvetted ladies, yet you still keep going back to these unvetted ladies for the thrill? Meh. your reasoning sounds a bit misguided, to say the least.
Not to mention that whole thing about having sex with massage-only girls and not paying them for the extra service. It sounds to me that you seek out these new massage girls and push boundaries. All the fit and attractive in the world is great, but all the fit and attractive in the world won't make me deliver a service that I'm not compensated for. If you're not compensating these girls for having sex with you, and instead just delight in flipping massage-only girls over to full service (regardless of who initiated; you're there under a p4p premise and should compensate correctly), that's intrinsically exploitative.
I'm not even going to argue with you. I'm just not going to agree. It's easy to label somebody without knowing them. Sometimes we look for things that aren't there but seem to be and accept them as fact. The reality is that I've treated every single provider I've been with with absolute respect and have been a complete gentleman.
The truth is, it's time for me to move on. The longer I stay around here, the more I realize that nobody is happy, and that most are pretending to be. There's just some things that money can't buy on either end and it's becoming more and more evident.
The hobby was there for me when I really needed it. I was in a really dark place and it helped get me out of it. I also learned a lot about psychology and sex and the human condition. When I first started, I didn't even sleep with the girls. I just needed the company and would just talk and hug for the hour. Then when I would get to know them, I would try to convince them to leave the profession and find happiness. Now it's me who needs that advice.
As for the exploitation comment, you do realize that providers have emotions and can feel right? And sometimes they want and need something bigger, even if its fleeting and impossible, to make them feel emotions they haven't felt in a long time. Other times, they just wanted to fuck. I never initiated but of course, in this strange era we live in, we must always place blame on the man, even if nobody has complained of an offense. Surely the only reason they can't see an offense is because they are blinded so we must convince them they've been offended for their own good. And how about the ones I actually dated? Is there some sum of money I owe them for an itemized list of sexual experiences? Because that's all that dating is right? A series of sexual encounters interrupted by some less important emotions. The irony of all this is, the more time I spend around here, the more appealing dating becomes again. I mean really the two worlds have a lot in common. There's drama, arguments, presumptions, jealousy, greed, and most importantly, a healthy dose of confusion. Best of luck to all.
Is it because you need to pay for sex, or that you were stood up by some BP hooker? You really think whining on the Board will help. You need to get your head out of your ass and come to grips with the reality of this business. Hell, people get screwed over every day in the legitimate business world. Tell you what, petition the state legislature to set up a small claims court exclusively for enforcing contracts and agreements relating to the P4P game. You've got a better chance of success there then crying on a TER board because you were stood up by a BP dolly.
Right. Because switch the situation around, have a provider come on here and say what I just said, and suddenly you want to lynch the guy. Guess what, the reality of the business is determined by the demand side as well as the supply side, just like any other.
Also, not everyone here is unhappily married or incapable of attraction. Some of us can and do get laid outside the realm of paid sexual encounters. We simply enjoy the thrill of the experience, bypassing the pretentiousness of dating and avoiding the clingy aftermath.
I didn't come here to whine. I came here to make a proposal to see how others relate to it. You sound like somebody who just accepts things as they are and attacks those who don't. And you want to give me business advice? Save it.
*I wanted to add that I found this provider through TER not BP though she has an ad there.
-- Modified on 7/13/2014 8:02:59 AM
Who are you kidding! You come on the Board using an alias looking for sympathy because you got stood up. You want TER to put up a NS category, but you don't have the balls to put this woman's name out there for anyone else to avoid, EVEN UNDER YOUR ALIAS. Of course you won't do that because maybe, just maybe, something unexpected happened in this woman's life that took precedence over seeing you, and then you would look like a bigger horses ass. You want the thrill of of the experience of P4P, then shut up and accept the consequences as well. Last I looked, this is all clandestine and illegal, no guarantees, no entitlements, no legal remedies! Just man up and move on.
This is the provider's profile: http://www.theeroticreview.com/reviews/show.asp?ID=257749&pnotes=1
I contacted her both last night and today under the other numbers I use for hobbying and she responded each time but never to the original number to tell me why she left me hanging after 40 minutes of driving. This confirms she simply got somebody faster and couldn't care less.
I accept nothing. I give respect where respect is due and I expect the same treatment I afford others. I couldn't care less about what you believe about how this hobby, or any other aspect of life "works." Your views are simply a reflection of your own experiences and not something anyone should just accept as the standard. I have my own.
I figured TER was a place to discuss all aspects of the hobby, and how to improve it. If this is simply a place to worship higher end providers, then I've clearly made a wrong turn somewhere and will be on my way.
-- Modified on 7/13/2014 1:01:58 PM
that a provider who advertises herself as being available 24/7 would be unreliable.
Nah, not really
That said, it is against TER rules to use your alias and "real" fake name in the same thread.
kudos though for standing up and naming names. there are countless guys here who constantly whine about being stood up but never name names either because they don't want the "drama" or because they don't want to "hurt her business" conveniently forgetting that sharing information is exactly why this site was created.
IMO, you have just made a small, but significant contribution to the community. It sucks that you got stood up, and I like your suggestion that somehow TER could keep a tally on the number of NCNS a provider has to her name. The only way this behavior is going to stop is if it starts effecting their pocketbook.
You guys wouldn't like her. She's NOT Asian.
Post a link to her ad or website. Come on, I dare ya
Naw. You guys aren't Worthy of seeing her.
Naw. You guys aren't Worthy of seeing her.
Why exactly are you even posting here? Have you ever seen a girl discussed here?
Naw. You guys aren't Worthy of seeing her.
Oh come on don't be like that. You have no reviews, and every post I have read of yours is about some poor young girl you are barebacking for next to nothing. You won't let us in on who she is, you haven't mentioned seeing any girl discussed here, and now you say we aren't worthy of seeing your little gem that you wish to keep in poverty. No one cares that you don't like Asians, that you don't have any money to pay for anyone that anyone else has heard of, and you claim not to pay until after the deed is done. Your recommendations seemed to be based on proximity to your house, on published bargain basement rates, bareback. or for no explainable reason at all.
Why exactly are you even posting here? Have you ever seen a girl discussed here?
Like I said, "You Guys Aren't Worthy Of Seeing Her." You guys Flame me for going BBFS with my Girl. Now you want to know who she is? Um, "NO!"
But I simply cannot support myself by fucking a guy bareback for free any longer.
I'm his super hot, young girlfriend who will fuck an elephant and a hamster while you watch without any compensation.
You and ROGM were made for each other. Neither one of you have any credibility.
That's news to me.
What's so surprising about a celibate hooker, especially one who only offers massage?
It's quite simple, really. I don't fuck clients. And I don't date.
I think you just like keeping her broke and dependent, If a bunch of other guys were paying her full freight she might not be barebacking you for peanuts.
I think I just found the title of my new book.
I love bareback sex. Who doesn't?
But would not do it for peanuts.
Fried pickles? Yes.
Nerds Rope? Yes.
A perfectly made Old Fashioned? I'd do it twice.
For peanuts though? I'd probably only let you look at my vulva.
Naw. You guys aren't Worthy of seeing her.
Oh come on don't be like that. You have no reviews, and every post I have read of yours is about some poor young girl you are barebacking for next to nothing. You won't let us in on who she is, you haven't mentioned seeing any girl discussed here, and now you say we aren't worthy of seeing your little gem that you wish to keep in poverty. No one cares that you don't like Asians, that you don't have any money to pay for anyone that anyone else has heard of, and you claim not to pay until after the deed is done. Your recommendations seemed to be based on proximity to your house, on published bargain basement rates, bareback. or for no explainable reason at all.
Why exactly are you even posting here? Have you ever seen a girl discussed here?
Like I said, "You Guys Aren't Worthy Of Seeing Her." You guys Flame me for going BBFS with my Girl. Now you want to know who she is? Um, "NO!"
Naw. You guys aren't Worthy of seeing her.
Oh come on don't be like that. You have no reviews, and every post I have read of yours is about some poor young girl you are barebacking for next to nothing. You won't let us in on who she is, you haven't mentioned seeing any girl discussed here, and now you say we aren't worthy of seeing your little gem that you wish to keep in poverty. No one cares that you don't like Asians, that you don't have any money to pay for anyone that anyone else has heard of, and you claim not to pay until after the deed is done. Your recommendations seemed to be based on proximity to your house, on published bargain basement rates, bareback. or for no explainable reason at all.
Why exactly are you even posting here? Have you ever seen a girl discussed here?
Like I said, "You Guys Aren't Worthy Of Seeing Her." You guys Flame me for going BBFS with my Girl. Now you want to know who she is? Um, "NO!"
Ron I asked you several questions and all you can talk about is your secret bareback girl. Your not just a one trick pony, ....are you?
One Trick Pony? Not sure what you mean by that
One Trick Pony? Not sure what you mean by that.
-- Modified on 7/15/2014 8:35:56 AM
ROGM is more like a "one pony trick" than a "one trick pony"
and you didn't just use "sophisticated" and ROGM in the same sentence, did you? Please tell me you were just "funnin" us, right?
ROGM's little secret is either imaginary, in which case none of this matters, or a total dumpster fire, in which case none of this matters. No provider I ever want to see is barebacking for $100 a session.