The only person taking advantage of me is my wife, who I've spent well over $1 million supporting since 1987, during most of which time she didn't have to work outside the home and during most of which time I also did a great deal of the household chores and child rearing since I work at home. 20 and a half years of sexless thankless marriages after a first seven years that weren't that great, and no appreciation whatsoever for anything. The provider I am seeing is WELCOME to all my money, in fact while she doesn't know it yet, I am going to leave her everything in my will. (Yes, my current wife can claim a forced statutory 1/3 anyway, under Illinois law, but it will cost her attorneys fees to do it). While moving out on my own is going to be difficult given my disabled condition, I'm determined to do it next April when out lease expires. What you suggest makes no sense, after 66 years where I pleased others, I now finally have found some real happiness, and I will let nothing and no one stand in the way! I work hard and I now also get high end monthly Social Security benefits, and I will spend every last penny on what makes me truly happy. When I had my stroke six years ago and was in a hospital bed with about a 40% chance of dying, it put everything into perspective. Money is just a bunch of b.s., especially if you are unhappy with your life.
If anyone would like to say their experiences that would be wonderful. Does it happen on either side? What happens? Does it happen for a provider and a hobbyist as well? Please, I would love to hear.
-- Modified on 7/5/2014 5:24:07 AM
Have seen many wonderful women..luckily, mostly repeatedly. So, in lust - often. In love - once.
For providers?? It NEVER happens. They are emotionally detached. The ones who are best at this provide the illusion they are not. They give off the illusion they are into it and you, and they might like getting you off, that's their job, but they are also emotionally vacant. They aren't remembering your 'date' days later, they aren't thinking fondly of you, they aren't wondering what it would be like to be with you in 'civvie life'. If you think they are doing any of those things, you're wrong.
Does that make them bad people? Does that make what they did for you somehow a rip-off? Pffff...not at all. It just makes them able to do what they do, regularly.
If you 'fall in love' with them, especially during or after a single time, I would say 1) they did their job very well 2) you are in desperate need of the affection and nurturing of a female companion. 3) What you think is love is something else.
Don't go into any of your encounters looking for an emotional connection. A lasting one. It's the antithesis of what this 'hobby' is about
This is generally very true and great comments from MrTwister. But in my experience I've seen a high level of exceptions. For example, all over the country there's former providers who fell in love with a client and stopped providing and now run an agency. There's many providers who have been taken off the market by a former sugar daddy, yes, for money but now they are romantically involved. And there's a big amount of providers who strike up a relationship and wind up dating someone they met as a client...it's called romance in the workplace. I myself have had this experience of dating a provider met through hobbying. So I agree with everything MrTwister says in general, but I would guess what he says is true over 80% of the time......and 20% of the time shit can happen!
Not necessarily true. Yes they try their best to disconnect but this is mostly for negative experiences. I've dated a few providers and numerous have given me their personal numbers and I know I'm not alone in that regard. Its easy to develop feelings for somebody immediately after sex. The reason? Oxytocin. It's a hormone that is released directly after orgasm that is a like a powerful drug that influences the brain. Is it wise to fall for a provider/hobbyist? No probably not but that doesn't meant it doesn't happen. There's just some hard decisions to be made immediately if it does. The Hobbyist/Provider dynamic is probably not the best one for love simply because we are designed by nature to be hunter/hunted. A woman enjoys, at least on a primal level, to be pursued by a confident and dominant male. By dominant, I mean perceived to be "better" or superior to the rest in the immediate vicinity. By being a hobbyist, you are somewhat removed from this natural dynamic because you are paying for it, which, suffice to say, is a sign of weakness in one way or another. Either you are incapable of extracting pleasurable sex from your marriage or you are unable to capture a mate in the "wild" and must pay for one. I know there are many more reasons that people hobby than just these two, and I'm not judging anybody in any situation for being here, I'm just pointing out how the brain works on basic instincts.
Listen to this fellow. smart man. do not get involved or you get fucked, and not in good way. very very bad things can and will happen. don't be a stupid boy
You're painting all of us as emotionally detached vapid creatures. All of us aren't just soulless fuck dolls that just wait for the next cock and balls that come our way, and that was a horrible thing to say. I am not emotionally fucked, vacant, cold, or vapid. I am warm, loving, & nurturing to clients, that's my market and I'm cultivating it. All the freaky stuff is wonderful, but it's secondary. Someone only interested in certain services from anyone with a pulse isn't going to make a good client. I can't spoil, delight, or excite a main who is in himself vapid or shallow enough to reduce the human experience down to body parts. I'm offering a healing service, even if it comes with freaky highlights.
"waiting for the next cock and balls to come our way"?? You're being paid. And advertising for the opportunity to be paid. For as many, I presume, as will take you up on the opportunity to pay you for it. I'm sure you are a warm and loving person. But you're 'loving' for 60-120 minutes and then you stop and that 'love' is then refreshed and served to the next client. No? Are you simply arguing the semantics of 'love'?
You can offer sex and enjoy it, especially as it relates to you providing a service, which you most likely enjoy giving since you (hopefully) chose to do so, and who doesn't like to make people happy or do a job well?
Go back and read my post. You aren't looking for love, at least 80% of the time as someone pointed out, which is mostly. Yes, I certainly agree shit can happen..and that's what's makes life so awesome....that human connection, when it happens. Just not sure guys on here , in this pursuit, should be thinking that way. It generally will lead to trouble. JM
It is true that for the most part, providers are not here "looking for love". And let's face it, the majority of the guys who play here are just undatable for one reason or another. If you are one of these guys, and you fall in love, you are probably not going to get far with that. So, you are correct in saying that this is not the place to be "looking" for love.
With that said, it still happens all the time.
Wow. Very well put.
However...
Guys are constantly falling in love with their favorite provider. Most of the time, the feelings are not mutual, and then the provider has to make a choice on how to deal with it. In many cases, it is the end of the relationship. I have heard it said that a client falling in love is the #1 cause of the loss of a good client.
It goes the other way too. I know quite a few ladies who have fallen for one of their clients.
Both Alyson and Russian brought up very good points - relationships that start in this world are very challenging and often don't work. There are often trust and jealousy issues that are present from the get go. But if the feelings are mutual, and there is good communication and both the provider and the hobbiest work together, it can work.
I've seen these relationships in every variation, and have been part of them as well. I have seen failures and successes - many more failures than successes, but the successes do exist.
I know a lot of guys believe that no provider could ever have real feelings for a client, but that statement is simply untrue. The truth is - this happens all the time on both sides. Feelings happen. We can't control our emotions and the heart wants what the hearts wants. I think this goes on a lot more than most people realize.
-- Modified on 7/5/2014 5:24:07 AM
I do appreciate with everything you had to say. Thank you. I think that the one thing you said that sat most to me was "the heart wants is what the heart wants"... No matter where you meet a person ~ an office, a restaurant, a hotel or anywhere I think that maybe some people just connect.
Thank you so much for all of your opinions. I really do appreciate everything you have to say! Everyone here has had wonderful opinions!
Love
Zana
It goes the other way too. I know quite a few ladies who have fallen for one of their clients.
Both Alyson and Russian brought up very good points - relationships that start in this world are very challenging and often don't work. There are often trust and jealousy issues that are present from the get go. But if the feelings are mutual, and there is good communication and both the provider and the hobbiest work together, it can work.
I've seen these relationships in every variation, and have been part of them as well. I have seen failures and successes - many more failures than successes, but the successes do exist.
I know a lot of guys believe that no provider could ever have real feelings for a client, but that statement is simply untrue. The truth is - this happens all the time on both sides. Feelings happen. We can't control our emotions and the heart wants what the hearts wants. I think this goes on a lot more than most people realize.
-- Modified on 7/5/2014 5:24:07 AM
Thanks! Yeah, that about sums it up, connections can and are created everywhere. It just happens when it happens. And because of the nature of the provider / hobbiest dynamic, "feelings" are almost an occupational hazard.
Thank you so much for all of your opinions. I really do appreciate everything you have to say! Everyone here has had wonderful opinions!
Love
Zana
I am not one to judge anyone on how they feel or don't feel. How or why they do what they do. I just posted the question. Is it possible. If you can fall in love in an office/hotel/restaurant then why not here. Some people just assume that if you are a provider you have no feelings and that if you are a client you might be looking for something. Sometimes things happen. Sometimes they don't. We all just like to have fun on all ends. If it happens to anyone (either end) hopefully everyone is happy is all I am saying. 
Love
Zana
Thank you so much for all of your opinions. I really do appreciate everything you have to say! Everyone here has had wonderful opinions!
Love
Zana
I have fallen deeply in love with the provider I am currently seeing. I now see her usually at least two mornings a week and sometimes three, at my home. She is great and energetic at very extended oral, and despite my great difficulty in cumming because of my diabetes/high blood pressure and other health problems/disabilities associated with my 2008 stroke, she was able to get me to cum once and to come very close on several other occasions. No one ever, in my whole life, has been as nice and giving to me as she has, and I would literally do everything and anything for her. Besides paying for the sessions, I've given her gift cards for clothes, additional money for special things she has wanted, and money for her child to have spending money on a day camp trip. I regularly tell her I love her, more than I've ever loved anyone, and I really mean it. She says she loves me too. Does she mean it? She seems to, and we talk about a lot of stuff in her life, such as her husband, her plans, her child, etc. Maybe she's not sincere, a lot of you might think, but what is love anyway but being extremely nice and caring to another person and giving them pleasure and taking care of them. All these things she does for me more than anyone ever has, including my current second wife. If that's not real love, it sure is closer to it than anything I've ever experienced in 66 years. I am very happy.
Put it to the test then. See how willing she is to shower all of this love and affection on you with no compensation. Love is a completely subjective concept anyway. Ask 100 people you'll get 100 different responses. But what the hell do I know!
I would not ask her that, she needs the money. I want to support her.
And I'm sure she's more than willing to let you. If this is your idea of love, then sit back and immerse yourself in it. I'm sure you've already introduced her to the family, and she's introduced you to hers. How did that go over with your spouses, children, relatives. Do you get together with her and all her other clients for the holidays, spreading the love? Great memories I'm sure. And why in the world does someone making $200 an hour(just a wild guess given your BP reviews) need to hit you up for spending money for her kid? Sorry for being a bit cynical, but I hate to see people being taken advantage of, and you seem to have fallen victim to it. Do yourself a favor, find the person closest to you, and who you trust the most (disregarding people you pay to try and achieve an orgasm) and sign over a power of attorney before you wake up one morning without a pot to piss on and the woman you purportedly "love" is nowhere to be found.
The only person taking advantage of me is my wife, who I've spent well over $1 million supporting since 1987, during most of which time she didn't have to work outside the home and during most of which time I also did a great deal of the household chores and child rearing since I work at home. 20 and a half years of sexless thankless marriages after a first seven years that weren't that great, and no appreciation whatsoever for anything. The provider I am seeing is WELCOME to all my money, in fact while she doesn't know it yet, I am going to leave her everything in my will. (Yes, my current wife can claim a forced statutory 1/3 anyway, under Illinois law, but it will cost her attorneys fees to do it). While moving out on my own is going to be difficult given my disabled condition, I'm determined to do it next April when out lease expires. What you suggest makes no sense, after 66 years where I pleased others, I now finally have found some real happiness, and I will let nothing and no one stand in the way! I work hard and I now also get high end monthly Social Security benefits, and I will spend every last penny on what makes me truly happy. When I had my stroke six years ago and was in a hospital bed with about a 40% chance of dying, it put everything into perspective. Money is just a bunch of b.s., especially if you are unhappy with your life.
I'm sure your kids will be thrilled with that decision. Your kids never brought you happiness? Ever? I can see being bitter and resentful to a thankless wife, but your children? Even if they aren't your biological children, you raised them. You said so here. You'd rather this person get everything you have left in this world than people you spent your life raising? Teaching? Nurturing? Caring for?
You sound spiteful, to the detriment of people you raised. That's sad.
Maybe your money is bs to you, but to others it can change, or help change a life. I'd consider those kids you raised before you decide money is worthless. I'm glad you weren't my father.
JMO, as always. But if you're gonna overshare on a fuck board about your personal life, then opinions are fair game. No
Here's my 2 cents. Any two people can fall in love at anytime. It is fate. The worse that can happen is she'll not reciprocate. If that's the case then you're not any worse off than when you've started. However. If she does reciprocate then you're in for a life changing event.
I say go for it! Having been on both ends it's totally worth it!
I like your two cents! Makes perfect sense. Thanks for your opinion. What can be so bad if there are two involved that feel that way? At least you can have the time of your life with someone who totally gets you!
Love
Zana
I say go for it! Having been on both ends it's totally worth it!
If that's your version of love and you're happy, then ...ok. And it doesn't sound like you even care if she's placating you or if she doesn't mean it or anything. You are getting what you want...and I presume she's getting what she wants...which no doubt starts with your money. And as has been suggested, probably ends with your money too...but you don't care...so that's all that matters.
I don't think Hallmark's making any movies around this version of the love story, but whatever. Right
Hobbyists should take note not to follow your example.
you are entitled to your opinion. If I'm a fool, I'm a happy one, and I'll take happiness over everything. And I disagee. Everyone should find a provider to fall in love with and devote themselves to her, and try to make her happy. Other women? A waste of time. Period. And I say that after over 50 years of experience, two marriages and six other live in relationships, plus countless "dating."
I knew you'd post again eventually with this same line of reasoning. Dude..if you think this? You ARE a fool. Bigtime. "Everyone should devote themselves to a provider?" Wow bro. You are the glorification of what they are all hoping for. Some dumbfuck to drain their wallets into their purses. Once yours is empty...adios. I think their counter promotional campaign would read something like "Everyone should find a hobbyist who devotes their life to you" (easiest money you'll ever make).
There was a guy who suggested you try to have a relationship with this woman you supposedly love in the absence of ANY monetary exchange. I suggest you try it. Just to see how it feels if and when she says "sorry, but that's not how I operate". After all the money you have already given her...how would that feel? Like she was was your friend? Lover? Or just someone who used you...for the reasons you used her...a business exchange.
I guarantee you if you ran out of money and reached out to her she would be gone like the wind.
I pray no one ever takes advice from you on this topic.
You would have more agreement if you simply said "paying providers for casual sex beats the cost and headache of trying to find the woman of your dreams because they don't exist". That's a concept that has some merit...which is why this 'hobby' (hate that word) thrives.
But when you take it to : find one you can fall in love with and then give her whatever money you can afford to 'make her happy' you lose all cred. You just fell into the oldest trap in the book buddy....and this arrangement makes that provider no different than your failed relationships...they are just sucking from you in a different way.
I'll change 'fool' to 'idiot' though...in my attack on your opinion.
If what you say is true ~ and this is a question. What happens if the provider falls head over heals in love with her client but doesn't ask for $$. What if she doesn't want or need his money and still continues to do this profession? Does that make her the fool? Question for thought
Love
Zana
But when you take it to : find one you can fall in love with and then give her whatever money you can afford to 'make her happy' you lose all cred. You just fell into the oldest trap in the book buddy....and this arrangement makes that provider no different than your failed relationships...they are just sucking from you in a different way.
I'll change 'fool' to 'idiot' though...in my attack on your opinion.
No, it doesn't make her a fool.
It's the money that clouds it. Take away the aspect of the 'relationship' that it is/was based on...the exchange of money for sex....and see what you have. What you're saying is the money has been removed and she still wants to be with him intimately. Is he taking advantage of that? I don't think it's relevant. Then it's just two people having consensual sex. If she loves him and he doesn't love her...that's a different topic....but in that case they are still both getting something they want, without the scepter of cash to cloud what's real and what's not.
Maybe I'm a sucker. Maybe I'm a winner. Maybe I'm a loser. I think my paramore and I would say-let's fucking see!
Every hands a winner, and every hands a loser. So I say, let's fucking see!
I think when you are in love we all win.
Love
Zana
-- Modified on 7/6/2014 3:16:07 PM
Great advice! No harm in it!
Love
Zana
Yes, it does happen. I fell for a provider very hard and she felt the same as well. We had met a few times professionally, but over time we met more casually. She knew that we were getting closer and closer, but she still kept me at a distance. She tried to be an escort, but she couldn't be romantically linked with me... It was either me or the business and she chose the business. She tried to still be "friends," but I cut her off when she started canceling dates with me at the very last minute.
Micro AMPs have been strange for me as well. In Seattle, I've had 2 situations in which I became close with providers. I think it's easier to be in a relationship with a microAMP girl because they're usually just stuck at the apartment and would like to have some real human interaction. The problem with microAMP girls is that they'll be leaving in a few months... so really, it just becomes a fling.
You are lovable just as you are.
You are so sweet.... Thank you very much! I was just curious !!!!!
Love
Zana
I was lucky ten years ago to meet a provider that quickly became a girlfriend. It opened my eyes on not being judgmental and also less controlling. We fell in love, which was outstanding. Then she went back to Bulgaria, and it was devastating for both of us. She was going to university, and I was already going in my career. It was the right decision for both of us to end things, and I have wonderful memories. It was also the right decision to not try to stay in touch, so we could live our lives and move on.
My philosophy since then has been one of variety. I would love to develop a serious case of 'like", which is the moment right before everything gets complicated.
I love the fact that everyone has had different experiences....I have my own and love to hear other peoples stories.
Love
Zana