The real mistake first came when someone decided to mix a religious union with government regulations and privileges.
Should gays be allowed to marry? This should be up to the church they attend since it is a RELIGIOUS joining!! Why the hell we ever turned it into a State or Federal institution is beyond me.
If it is to be a State or Federal union which effects rights and privileges, then you can not discriminate.
Personally, I believe people who are gay are born this way. The fact I am attracted to women is not something that was an acquired taste like some food or alcohol. It is inherent in me. I believe this to be the same for gays and lesbians, I do not believe it is some type of "choice".
Therefore, time to fix the problem. Either do away with government being n the business of marriages (which is not going to happen), or come up with a means of assuring that EVERYONE has access to the same rights and protections those who are married have access to. Legalized Unions would fix this I believe, but my personal preference would be for the government to get out of the marriage business.