Ok..Ok. So, I have a friend(Im using this term very loosely) and he has a mistress. He has an agreement with his mistress that in exchange for his money she will give him sex and companionship. He pays her $10,000 a month. He sees her maybe 5-6 times a month. Just recently she had renovations done to her bathroom and living room. Guess who paid for it? He did and this was additional to the $10,000 that she already gets a month from him. Now, when he talks about his mistress he says that she loves him. Is it just me or is he just completely dilusional? She obviously is in the agreed relationship for the money while he has grown to have feelings for her. I could understand if he said he loved her(which he does say), but to even think she loves him is just not the case. She may love his money, but I don't think she would take advantage of him if she had any real feelings at all for him.
My question to the guys and gals is does she love him or is he just dilusional thinking that she has feelings for him?
She loves him on a fantasy level. If I were him, I'd take it for what it is and not look too deeply. Believe me, I've been there and I've been fooled. But its nice to enjoy the fantasy if there is no harm. I actually tell my atfs to lie to me, because I don't really want to hear the truth. And the truth is, if you listened to the savier hobbyists around him is that when there is no money then there is no love. As in tell this mistress that due to financial difficulties, you are unable to provide the funding she is used to for one month and then see what happens. If there is love, then she will stick with him. If not, she'll be out of there faster than light.
Him, Her, you, or for that matter anyone who thinks they can define love - for themselves, much less for someone else? $10K may have no meaning for him. Or to her.
I've seen this from both sides, and frankly, 'There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.'
There's really no way to say for certain who cares how much about whom. Only those two know, and if their setup works for them, then I'd let him enjoy it how he pleases.
Your Horatio crap has blinded you! The guy is simply delusional! "$10k may have no meaning to him", but I guarantee it means something to HER! If she truly loved him, she wouldn't take his money for fucking him 5-6 times a month. If he truly loved her, he would get out of his marriage (spare me with your "it's complicated" B.S.) and find a way to be with her exclusively. He may love her on some level and she may really be fond of him, but this ain't true love. Defining true love in words is subjective at best and possibly impossible, but seeing "what isn't true love" isn't always that difficult, as in this case.
One day Chuang-tzu and a friend were walking along a riverbank. "How delightfully the fishes are enjoying themselves in the water!" Chuang-tzu exclaimed. "You are not a fish," his friend said. "How do you know whether or not the fishes are enjoying themselves?" "You are not me," Chuang-tzu said. "How do you know that I do not know that the fishes are enjoying themselves?"
------------------------------------------------ I will never know how he feels, how she feels, nor what is right for them...only they can.
He may be delusional from your perspective, and if so then I envy his delusions. Truth? I know less of truth than I do of Love. The closest I ever get to knowing either is when I hold my lover through the dark of the night, feel her sweet warmth against me. Fleeting? What in life lasts?
These are the very deepest and very best mysteries life has to offer - and I respect their struggle to live, love, and find their own way. So should you.
Deep 'tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all' Heat
I probably would love him. Looks aren't everything and security feels good. And no, guys, I've always been independent and made my own money. However, I have to say that if I were attracted to a man that wanted to offer me that a month, it would be nice. I'd kill him with kindness but not take advantage of him. I'd also reciprocate occasionally and surprise him with gifts. Heck, with that much each month, I'd get a facelift and whatever else he wanted. Wink! Well, okay, maybe keep my chest the same. They still look okay. Wink! Actually, I've been told my face is still very cute, too, but I'd could use a little tightening around the eyes and neck. Wink!
I did forget to mention that he met his mistress at a strip club. When he came into the picture she stopped stripping and he was paying her way. The way I look at it is when you pay for sex/companionship you should never let your feelings come in the way. This is why I think she will never have any real feelings for him. Does she have real feelings for his wallet? Absolutely. For him? No way! As somebody already pointed out, would she stick around with him if he stopped giving her money? No. She has a great deal in this. I recieved a few pm's from a few of guys asking me who he is because they want to contact him. They claim they arent gay, but for $10,000 a month they would have sex with him 5-6 a month and also tell him that they love him..lol!
Your obvious attempt to humiliate some poor guy didnt work. Most here saw thru it and your total insincerity was transparent.
When will you ever learn that most of us here know you're a liar and your methods are a complete bore. At least this guy can afford to buy what he needs, doesnt make any difference whether he's dellusional or not, his money is real. Wht difference does it make if she was a stripper or anything else for that matter. Why are you concerned if she loves him or not? Truth be told your whole reason for posting this was to hurt and harm a guy you barely know.Bottom line is they continue with the arrangement and both are satisfied
Ya'll are trying to debate which person is more shallow, him or her. He is seeing her because of the way she looks, and she is seeing him for the money. What does love have to do with it? Stop giving her money to see if it is true love? What, so can she gain 50 pounds to see if he loves her? And heaven forbid, what if something disfigured her face or body would he stand by her. NO...... He would head back to the titty bar and find another. She can't date and look for someone who wants marriage, love, children. A full time regular job would curtail her being available at all times for him.. And by not having a full time job, she does not get a 401k plan, pension, health insurance, I am sure the place she lives is in his name. It is a partnership that each one gets what they want, for what they consider fair. Fact is he would probably get upset that his so-called friend posted his private business in a public place.
I am going to assume that he is married and she is not.
I were to have a relationship with a married man, I would need something to compensate for the fact that he is spending the holidays, nights, weekends, his home, etc. with another woman (his wife) and I am spending these times alone. What else could he possibly give her to make her stay when she can't actually have him? Money.
So, perhaps she does love him but needs something to make her feel secure in their relationship and this is all that he can offer.
Who really knows? And if he is happy with the arrangment, does it matter?
drugs, or was a drunk he'd have an excuse. He is a mess psychologically. He has a shrink, that has been ineffective in leading the poor rube back to reality. He is a fat old guy that thinks the 20 and 30 Y.O. providers are in love with him. Mark David Chapman was more in touch with reality.
I respect that you have concern for your friend. I do! But, they seem to be very ok with this arrangement. It's actually much more upfront than a marriage. He pays her to what he is comfortable with and if he wants to decorate parts of her house then he does so because he wants to. Can it be that she loves him or that he loves her........Absolutely! I see where they are working within the confines of what one another wishes and is able to give.
I know many wives that hate their husbands, give him no happiness at all and still take all of the money and get the house redecorated while they drive around in the better car.
If they are happy......Be happy for them and try not to judge. Happiness is just one of those emotions that means something different to everyone.
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