Lies of courtesy?
Lies of discretion?
Lies of convenience?
Bald-face bodacious lies?
...the number of times a good lie has saved my ass.
Yes. Lies are good. Go forth, my son, and lie your ass off.
I thought TER stood for "The Extra-marital Relations" board... never mind.
1. You KNOW your spouse is sexually anusing your child.
2. You leave your spouse and take the child with you.
3. Court determines your spouse should have sole custody.
4. You take the child and hide him/her with someone else.
5. You are taken into court and ordered by the court to tell them where the child is located.
Do you lie by omission?
or
Do you tell them where the child is knowing s/he will be abused by your spouse.
If you chose the first one, AND (most importantly) willing to go to jail for it.....Congratulations, you are in the top 3% of the highest stage of moral development.
-- Modified on 12/5/2005 11:11:21 PM
...but shouldn't step 4 be "Get a better lawyer."
And in the current #4, what happens if the person you hide the child with turns out to be a worse abuser, but one that hid if from you better than your spouse? For that matter, what if the house they're hiding in is infested with termites and near a fault line? [shudder]
If you're going to tell a parable, at least have the courtesy to finish it. I want to know how it ends.
Do you really KNOW if you can't convince a judge the dad is abusing the child, or at least that the dad should have supervised visitation and not sole custody. If you can't even get joint custody there may be something wrong with you that you are not recognizing.
The scenario you describe is similar to the case in D.C. (Elizabeth _______, the plastic surgeon) who got in a pitched custody/visitation battle with her ex, claiming he abused the girl child. It wasn't a sole custody thing, just whether visitation should be allowed. The evidence for abuse was very equivocal (no claim of intercourse, but rather fondling or fingering and even that not very convincing). The dad just wanted supervised visitation. The mom hid the girl in New Zealand with her parents and went to jail for contempt until a congressman got a law passed limiting jail terms for contempt. The law only applied to her, so she was sprung. The girl recently turned 18 and has returned to the U.S. She hates her father, of course, but no one can really know whether it's because the mom convinced the girl that her father had abused her and was otherwise the devil.
While the case was going on I met a med school classmate of hers. He said some referred to her as "Saint Elizabeth" in med school because she felt she was morally superior to the rest of them.
moral superior types... they tend to megalomania in one form or another - I would rather not be coupled with such a person, makes life for us ordinary humans difficult...
When we lie it's generally to protect ourselves and not others.
For whatever that is worth......It is what it it.
...now I'm really confused.
but I certainly understand why you said it. Generally, I believe honesty is the best policy. But -- like anything -- there are times when a "white lie" is best for all concerned. Or, just don't say anything at all. When it comes to protecting a child, "YES," sometimes you have to lie. Don't kid yourself. We lie all the time in this profession. That's what keeps us safe -- maybe unfortunate for some but realistic. The main thing for me with "lieing" is: Don't lie to someone if in the longrun it will turn on you and hurt that person. Now, that can be miscontrued too. There's always a gray lining in the clouds, isn't there?
Hugs,
Ciara
Indeed! Some of my favorites are:
"Lex, you're not fat."
"Wow, they were right -- you are good-looking, Lex!"
"Yes, Lex, yours is one of the biggest I've seen."
But my number one favorite lie is:
"I think bald is sexy!"
I had a crush on Yul Brenner for the longest time when I was growing up. So there, take that! Wink!
Hugs,
Ciara
...Lex Luethor's Big Book of Lies.
They say "Oooo, you're so strong" when "Oooo, you're so big" would be lying. 
as long as they work out as intended and we do not feel guilty about them.
In my history, one out of ten lies/excuses has gotten busted. I learned something from that - make lies/excuses "generic", not "specific". That way, I would have more "safety margin".
-- Modified on 12/6/2005 9:23:22 AM
...for a book!
Lex Luethor's
The Big Book of Lies
Subtitled: Lies for every occasion.
Chapter 1: "Do I look fat in this Dress?"
Sorry, I had to delete this post b/c my ATF that I was talking about in the original message caught it and emailed me, laughing and yelling at me.... It made me even more miserable..
-- Modified on 12/6/2005 4:18:57 PM
...but I have to admit rereading the thread brought me both a chuckle and a call to a special friend! Proof that lies CAN bring two people closer together!
-- Deep 'lying to myself' Heat
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=137119&boardID=12&page=
-- Modified on 12/6/2005 7:11:11 AM
