Normally, I will only reply if I can verify her.  

The first thing I do when I receive a new reference request is to come here to TER.  
If she isn't listed here, or only has a couple reviews or nothing but old ones, I'll then search on other review sites.

Not only do I want to see that she is established & reputable, but also that the email address she wrote me from matches what's on her profile.  

If it doesn't match (occasionally ladies use different email for this than what they give clients) then I'll look at her website to see if that email is posted there.  If it isn't, then I'll ask her to contact me from one of the methods listed either on her review profile or on her site to prove it really is her who's contacting me.  

There are ladies whom I know delisted here (and elsewhere!) to whom I will give references, because I'm already familiar with them.   One lady who requested a reference in the last year or so was totally unknown to me and had no reviews anywhere...... but I found her Twitter feed and many archived ad posts which showed she's been around for years but is vehemently opposed to reviews. So I gave her a reference without any further fuss.

 
But if I find nothing on her except a recent ad or her own website and she appears to be "new" I will then email the client to advise him that she isn't established/reviewed (hey, not everyone does their homework!) and ask if he still wants me to give this unknown a reference.  

I am VERY reference friendly because I feel its important to keep each other's safe. If a lady contact me for a reference, I expect to have the following information:

Full name
phone number
email
TER handle
p411 (if any)
other info that she can have on the gentleman to help ME help HER!  

If I get a reference request with a "hey, have you meet with TER Gaga" mmmm I definitely would not even bother responding. I am professional on my communication and expect the same!.  

 
Also, I appreciate that she introduce herself with courtesy. I have an standard & professional email that I sent to other ladies when asking for references. So I just copy the gentleman's info.  

If a lady doesn't even bother with a good morning , bla bla bla, I don't even respond. It's a courtesy  to respond to a reference request, but it is not an obligation. I am NOT GETTING PAID for it... so ladies... be nice and Ill be happy to assist.  

I don't give references to ANYONE that contact me for information and the reason is because I never know if is a coworker, a wife, a daughter trying to find information on how I meet the guy because he was too stupid to get caught.  

This had happen to me before, one time.... the wife's have set up a fake website, with stolen pictures LOL, se even have set up a  DATE CHECK profile!!! but, I'm a smart cookie and I know better. (because that's how I caught my ex-husband) haha...  
I screen the lady too, I check if they have reviews, p411, I check how long their website it's been up (we have tools for that), I check pictures, if all the pictures match in the website, I check the reviewers that review "HER" as well and if they are legit. I contact the husband to his work email (I Have a discreet email to communicate to business emails with my clients) and INDEED, I WAS RIGTH!!.. the wife was trying to caught him... I knew something like that was going on and that's why I didn't email him to his REGULAR hobby email.. lol  

ahhh, he love me for that and he's an amazing regular!!!!  

My main job is to be DISCREET, before, during and AFTER I have a date with a client.  

and I appreciate if the gentleman contact me and let me know that someone is going to contact me for a reference, so I am aware of it...  oh.. a thank you from my amazon wish list is awesome too