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TIME
Time.com

In Defense of Johns
Jim Norton
Aug. 6, 2014 SHARE

Jim Norton
Christopher Lovenguth
I'm not ashamed to pay for sex—and other men shouldn't be either

As a man who has spent an embarrassing amount of money on prostitutes and other various sexual encounters, I was excited when I heard about a “National Day of Johns,” because I thought I was being honored.

I envisioned myself being carted down New York City’s Fifth Avenue on the back of a flatbed truck, waving to cheering fans as confetti rained down on me as my disappointed parents hid behind a mailbox. A silly (yet understandable) mistake on my part, as the National Day of Johns was a celebration of the arrests of hundreds of men in a series of sex stings in 15 states. The fact that I’ve never been arrested in one of these stings should convince even the most ardent of atheists that miracles are indeed possible.

I suppose you could say I am the consummate john. I’m loyal, I’m dedicated and I will always come back—even as it seems as though efforts to shame johns are on a national upswing throughout the country.

I cannot even fathom a guess as to how much money—let alone time—I’ve spent on paid sex in the last 25 years. Although I can tell you that when Charlie Sheen confessed he’d spent $50,000 in one year, I nodded my head and saw it as an achievable goal. Because I’ve never actually tallied the dollar amount of my sex addiction, my therapist tells me I should—her logic being that a concrete cost would make it more definitive and its consequences more tangible.

But really, perhaps the most shameful thing I can admit is this: I’m not really ashamed. And neither should any of these other (unmarried) johns who have been arrested.

If these men are anything like me, they might simply feel more comfortable with prostitutes. I never pick them up to be abusive. I always feel extraordinarily loving and close to them. When I first began soliciting sex for money, it never occurred to me that some of them are possibly forced into prostitution or have abusive pimps. I must have known it deep down on an intellectual level, but hadn’t witnessed anything to confirm it.

Until I did.

The only experience I’ve had with an element of violence being present was driving on 48th Street in New York once and talking to a girl through my passenger window. (A big part of my addiction is the ritualistic aspect and, for some reason, I only liked to pick up prostitutes who talked to me through the passenger window.) As we were speaking, a van full of girls stopped and a guy who I assume was her pimp, bounced her across the hood of my car and threw her in the van.

This is why I’m a firm believer that prostitution should be legalized and pimps should be thrown down an elevator shaft.

Law enforcement stings designed to shame men who pay for sex are nothing more than the state blowing its own morality horn. Being a comedian who is single allows me a luxury most johns don’t have, which is the freedom to discuss the topic openly. And not from a ‘case study’ point of view, but from the honest point of view of someone who has spent the equivalent of a Harvard Law School education on purchasing sex.

By keeping prostitution illegal because we find it “morally objectionable,” we allow (or, more accurately, you allow) sex workers to constantly be put into dangerous situations. Studies have shown that rapes and STDs dropped drastically between 2003 and 2009 in Rhode Island after the state accidentally legalized it. The American Journal of Epidemiology showed that the homicide rate for prostitutes is 50 times higher than the next most dangerous job for a woman, working in a liquor store. You don’t need a Masters in sociology to understand it would be much safer for sex workers if they were permitted to work in places that provided adequate security. Legalizing prostitution would also alleviate the fear a sex worker may have about reporting the abusive behavior of a john out of fear of arrest.

The illegal aspect of prostitution has never deterred me, nor would legalizing it cause me to engage in it more.

The decision people make to have sex for a living would undoubtedly confuse and repulse a large part of the population. But in a free society, people must be allowed to make choices for themselves that are incomprehensible to others. By keeping prostitution illegal and demonizing all of its parties, we (you) are empowering pimps and human traffickers and anyone else who wants to victimize sex workers because they feel helpless under the law.

Give sex workers rights. Give johns a break.

Jim Norton is a comedian, New York Times bestselling author and host of “The Jim Norton Show” on Vice.com.

Am I ashamed to be a john?

Hell no. I spent my years in my 20s building a career and I feel I should have the right to spend my hard earned money however way I see fit without the traditional excess baggage that cums along with it.  

Who made up those dumb rules anyway? Why should we follow dumb laws that we flat out reject?

There's a reason escorting is referred to as "the oldest profession known to man kind". Who are the LE to say we should be ashamed when it targets the very fundamental "weaknesses" of men, if you will?  Yes, men have weaknesses and it comes from their hormones. Did we ask for this to be built into us? Last I checked, I was born with it. I was born with a penis too. It's not the biggest but I'm damn sure it's there for a reason and I intend to make very good use of it.

Is it my fault that I find hot girls attractive and want to sleep with them? Do men really need to wine dine and waste so much time going through that traditional drama when they aren't interested in that particular part at all?

Who are these hypocrites in the government making these stupid ass man-made laws that waste more tax payers money? You mean uber-hypocrites guys like Elliott Spitzer who was hiring escorts while passing laws against mongering? Fuck that.

To be fair, everyone's a hypocrite the more you peel them off.  At least mongers here aren't putting on another mask pretending to be something else.  

OK didn't mean to rant but I wanted to speak my mind.  Great article.

but would not want my wife to find out until our divorce is final (for legal reasons).

I  just wish I had discovered the GFE world a lot earlier!