Pet Peeve, references!

Okay, so today once again a provider contacted me for a reference. Which would be fine if the guy actually told me ahead of time and reminded me of who he is. And many do not...  

Let's talk the etiquette of the situation. DO NOT name me as a reference without telling me in advance so I am stumped! Then I am like, Billy who? Do you know how many Bills,  Bobs, and Mike's I know?! I then spend a half hour out of my day trying to figure out who you are (unless you are one of my favorites, wink wink) and contacting the provider back and forth.  

I don't want to sound snooty, but I think it's kind of rude to expect a reference when you didn't take the time to review a provider. Every guy I see that reviews me and contacts me with his handle after it posts, I reciprocate with a white list within a few days. It's the least I can do when someone took the time to review me. They are extremely relevant to my career and always greatly appreciated. Being white listed is a lifetime reference, I don't have to be contacted when you use it, and any provider worth her salt has an account on here and can see the reference. I think that it's great that TER provides a way for both providers and hobbyists to check each other out, let's take advantage of it!  

I would appreciate any thoughts on this. I feel like I may be in the wrong but at the same time I feel like I am not wrong for expecting some level of etiquette. If it doesn't start a conversation, at least I got to blow some steam lol...