It isn't up to her to create a great experience, and I can except that I won't always get my money's worth. But isn't it up to the provider to be there, mentally? At what point does my obligation to compensate her for her time become her problem?
-- Modified on 12/30/2016 7:45:27 PM
I'm aware that the convention is that unless it's a "bait and switch" situation, or you sense physical danger, you either go through with the session or pay the lady for her time. You don't just bail because her hairdo reminds you of a girl you didn't like in Junior High, or whatever.
But I'm wondering if there are other exceptions. Specifically, there was an instance when a provider I saw seemed to me to be "on something," which is grossly unprofessional. Not that I was taking advantage; she was mentally present, just out of sorts. I had to do most of the work, and there were various other problems I won't go into.
Considering the odds were in favor of it being a crap session, would I have been within my rights to bail without payment? What are the provider's responsibilities, besides physically being there?
It's bad form to bail except for bait and switch or danger, because the opportunity cost for the provider is so high. She might have already incurred some costs, like cost of a room, Uber, and even a babysitter for her kid, and she may have turned down another offer because you booked with her for a specific time. Not all appointments are likely to be great experiences, but that's life. Post a review and she will either learn from her mistakes or lose some business as a result.
He could have given her something for her time, and/or the room (if she'd gotten it just for him). Then just said that he'd suddenly gotten a terrible migraine, or some such excuse. And left, without wasting the entire fee on a potentially uncomfortable session.
Why on earth go through a session with a provider on drugs? I don't feel like he was obligated, at all.
She was a BP girl who offers a 15-minute rate, and he gave her a 7 anyway. He was looking for a bargain and got what he paid for.
I can see exactly why you replied the way you did.
Gosh, I'd assumed he was talking about actual reputable, high-end escorts in BOTH of his posts.
Obviously, context is illuminating.
However, a girl who offers 15-minute sessions didn't get a hotel room just for him. If the price is right, she can book a few other sessions (there might even be a guy waiting in the parking lot). So I still don't think he's on the hook. It would be courteous of him to give her a few bucks as a parting fee... but, that's between him, and karma.
On the other hand... he knew ahead of time that it was a low-end gig, and still booked. So... gosh. I have no words.
And this guy is trying to school US on convention!! LOL
But I wasn't, actually. I was only asking questions, arguing, trying to have an open discussion, and conveying my experience. Which is limited, but different from what I've been hearing in certain cases. Which leads to the argument. But that's by no means schooling.
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-- Modified on 12/30/2016 8:37:41 PM
I found her through P411. I paid the exact same hourly rate I've paid for every other GFE, save two who were more expensive. I see now there's a 15 minute rate on her TER page, and that would be a red flag for me now. But I didn't notice at the time. My bad.
Please don't assume I was hunting for a bargain. You don't know what you're talking about.
Anyway, that was only my second month as a hobbyist. I wouldn't make that mistake again. But I could happen upon an intoxicated provider again. This was more a general question, not tied to that particular experience.
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-- Modified on 12/30/2016 8:19:06 PM
Also, I should add her TER rates are misleading. I paid 300/h, which is perfectly middle of the road for a GFE in my area.
It isn't up to her to create a great experience, and I can except that I won't always get my money's worth. But isn't it up to the provider to be there, mentally? At what point does my obligation to compensate her for her time become her problem?
-- Modified on 12/30/2016 7:45:27 PM
Judge Judy would say you used the service you have to pay for! You partook in this lady's time. She provided a service and you have to pay! "if you don't like the service she provided that's not her problem. You used her service you have to pay!!"
Parable: If you hired a babysitter for your kid while you went to the movies, and when you returned you see the kid went to sleep with his face covered in chocolate. Chocolate is now smeared on pillowcase. But the babysitter kept your kid safe and unharmed while you went out for entertainment. Do you have the right to refuse to pay because the babysitter did not do everything to your standards? (The babysitter didn't wash the kids face and probably didn't even make him BRUSH HIS TEETH!!) You still have to compensate the babysitter for his/her time. You don't get to use someone's time and service and not pay for it. That borders on the side of stealing.
-- Modified on 12/30/2016 7:45:27 PM
The issue is whether I have to pay if I bail before the session begins. The case of the babysitter is different, in that services have already been rendered, albeit poorly.
He wasn't talking about staying and completing the mission. He was talking about turning around at the door. In that case your analogy would be if the babysitter showed up stoned to watch your kids. You not only have the right to send her home with no pay, but you have the responsibility to do so!
...say the girl was high in my review. That falls under their rules against accusing them of criminal activities. Aside from the obvious and robbery, which for whatever reason don't count.
Of course, she could have been on perfectly legal substances. I wouldn't know.
Why even ask this??
That's why I asked. Also, because I've read reviews and comments about intoxicated girls from more experienced hobbyists. I wouldn't book time with a girl like that again, but you never know. It could happen with someone else.
-- Modified on 12/30/2016 8:26:25 PM
Although there are sometimes some very dumb answers, and then again there are the occasional troll posts "pretending" to be a newbie looking for answers.
Yours is a rather common question, but one that deserves a serious answer.
IMHO. "if" you feel you have been misled, either by Bait and Switch" an "unsafe environment" or a provider who looks completely "out of it" you have every right not just to leave, but to leave without leaving a single red cent.
OTOH, if you were just in the mood for a blonde that day, but you scheduled with a brunette who was ready willing and able to deliver on her implied promise to make you happy, but YOU just weren't feeling it for reasons of your own. In that case you owe her for the session as she blocked out the time for you and she did nothing wrong.
and then there is the grey area. You show up, she is the woman in the pics, but maybe a couple of years older, not quite as toned as you imagined, but still quite obviously the girl you booked. In this case you need to use your best judgement and that judgment might include giving her partial payment for her time.
Let me repeat the first part of my response. If you feel you are being intentionally deceived, it's not just your "right" its in a way your "obligation" to the community to refuse to "reward bad behavior" ROB's do so because it's profitable, if no guy would put up with their shit, they would eventually go away due to not making any money. That's the goal we strive for, to reward the "good hookers" and to not reward the bad ones.
L
Because it seemed like he was trying to start the thread not to gain insight into a situation, but to argue with what he perceived as the orthodoxy on this board (as he was doing in his post below... although in that case, he persisted - rather stubbornly - to misinterpret the advice he was given).
Like, 'Well, everyone here says to do ____. But a few weeks ago this happened."
While the orthodoxy does day, 'If she misrepresents herself, leave, and you don't owe her a cent!'... This is clearly a different situation, and one that common sense should resolve IMO.
If she's not able to perform professionally, and/or he feels uncomfortable... he should bail. The parting fee left (if any) would vary based upon the particular circumstances. Did she book a hotel just for him, etc.
If you bargain hunt and get what you pay for, in some cases (though I maintain not mine). What about when the client does everything properly and the provider still acts unprofessionally?
It depends on when, and what.
If the unprofessional act happens before the session and it's not something trivial, I might very well cancel the appointment, since I'd be concerned about what else she might do. I haven't had to do that yet.
If it happens during the session, then it depends on how serious/dangerous the action is. If I felt her action(s) create an unsafe environment, I might leave immediately. I say "might" because it's possible she might need assistance, so I'd make sure she's ok/safe before I left.
I've had that kind of thing happen to me a couple of times, both times with a provider I knew well. Once she was in a hyper-sexed manic state. I knew she's bipolar and suspected she was having a problem with her meds (which I found out later was the case, when she apologized for her behavior) or hadn't taken them. I continued the date but steered it along safe lines. I was her last appointment that day, so I stayed until she came down and headed home. The other time was when the provider had eaten a birthday brownie her previous date gave her, and it had something other than brownie batter in it. She was quite relaxed when I got there, but she was mentally in control and I was in the mood for a relaxed time anyway, so I stayed to help her celebrate her birthday.
Babe, you gotta know that not all girls/boys who do this 'job' are going to 'act professionally'. There are no colleges or universities that teach the business of 'ho-ing' (or escorting or whatever you want to call it). Some don't even realize it's a 'business'. It is something that can be done to close the gap between being poor and getting by. It can be done between real life jobs.. There are no standards..only ones set up within specialized groups..like 'hobbyists' for instance. Or organized 'escorts'. Everyone else just assumes you provide what is expected on a very primal and (very) short-term basis something physical that person needs at that time.
When you immerse yourself in the hobby world you forget how the rest of the world views this profession. The rest of world would look down on your 'issue' as they would see you as arrogant and demanding. After all...aren't you getting what you want when you made the call to the girl in the first place? Expecting a clean and clear head, mentally present and anything else would just prove that 'johns' are not all innocent in the world's oldest profession. Not just men with needs. But exploiters of young, not fully formed (minds and identities) girls. That's what the real world would see if they ever got wind of your expectations.
Anyways...Have a good day everyone. Happy hobbying
Of course there are standards, like the one you expected me to abide by in your post above. That goes both ways, provider and client alike. She expects me to pay her, I expect her not to be high.
I don't buy that "specialized groups" argument. If anything, in the barley getting by part of the hobby there are lower standards for bailing. As for how those outside the hobby would view it, why should I care? If I listened to them I wouldn't be doing this at all.
When you immerse yourself in the hobby world you forget how the rest of the world views this profession. The rest of world would look down on your 'issue' as they would see you as arrogant and demanding. After all...aren't you getting what you want when you made the call to the girl in the first place? Expecting a clean and clear head, mentally present and anything else would just prove that 'johns' are not all innocent in the world's oldest profession. Not just men with needs. But exploiters of young, not fully formed (minds and identities) girls. That's what the real world would see if they ever got wind of your expectations.
Anyways...Have a good day everyone. Happy hobbying
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