My advice to the OP is that if being outed and being exposed as a whore monger would completely ruin your life then DON"T do it.
You don't have to answer to any of us where it comes to what can and cannot ruin your life. This hobby is not without risks and anyone who tries to tell you different is lying to you. Each of us has to make our own determination as to how much risk we can afford to take. I hope ML is not claiming that no one has ever been exposed by giving his personal information to either an indy or an agency, as EVERYONE here knows that simply is not true. Even "well reviewed" indies right here on TER have outed guys in a moment of spite, this happened just a few days ago on the GD board. So NO, do not be browbeaten into giving out more personal info than you feel comfortable doing, but please keep in mind, "many" women will not see you without you doing so. That is the trade off you have to make, but if you want someone to tell you that you can freely give out your real name to every agency and hooker you find on the internet risk free, well that just is NOT the case.I'm not a newbie but am new to Agencies. I saw a few gals who are with an agency and have great reviews who I may click with and would like to see. References for me from a provider is no issue. Problem has been that the agency requires my full real name, phone number, and other things.
I'm married, employed with a very well known and prestigious org, hold an ok level position within the org. I feel like it would be a big risk but...they have such great reviews and I've been at this enough to be ok at selecting someone I would likely click with and have a nice time.
I understand (but can pretty effectively argue against) why the agency requires the info so don't need anyone to tell me about that - the reason doesn't make it more palatable. Does anyone have thoughts on if I am being too paranoid about this?
Thanks.
And I'd look at any provider that does not require your full name and phone number to be sketchy as well.
My advice to the OP is that if being outed and being exposed as a whore monger would completely ruin your life then DON"T do it.
You don't have to answer to any of us where it comes to what can and cannot ruin your life. This hobby is not without risks and anyone who tries to tell you different is lying to you.
Each of us has to make our own determination as to how much risk we can afford to take. I hope ML is not claiming that no one has ever been exposed by giving his personal information to either an indy or an agency, as EVERYONE here knows that simply is not true. Even "well reviewed" indies right here on TER have outed guys in a moment of spite, this happened just a few days ago on the GD board.
So NO, do not be browbeaten into giving out more personal info than you feel comfortable doing, but please keep in mind, "many" women will not see you without you doing so. That is the trade off you have to make, but if you want someone to tell you that you can freely give out your real name to every agency and hooker you find on the internet risk free, well that just is NOT the case.
If they cannot be satisfied with provider references, and maybe a PM through TER, well, let it be their loss.
Just because a lady doesn't accept references/a TER PM at face value with no additional information, doesn't make it "her loss." Whenever a guy says that to me, my first thought is "welp, glad I dodged that bullet." It's a lame, passive-aggressive thing to say.
and you are offering advice on this subject? The OP would be nuts to listen to you and take the risk.
I'm not sure where you're located, but some agencies will take P411. If you don't have it they have a free six month trial going on if you have two provider references. Be advised though, as GaGambler mentioned, many independent ladies will still want your real life info. Not many rely on P411 alone. And as Marie mentioned, be wary of those who don't screen or screen poorly.
I'm in Boston. It's as reputable an agency as any other as far as I can tell (Boston International is the agency).
All independent providers have so far asked for nothing more than references from a reputable provider. The agency wants that and a heck of a lot more. Dunno...feels over the top and intrusive. They say they get rid of the info after a check is done and just keep my first name and a number or something like that on file. But come on...that sounds like BS to me. And if that's BS (which it must be), I just don't get how guys can trust them. I would think most guys' lives would be negatively affected if the info got out. I want to be a client of theirs so am trying hard to justify that it's ok, just can't see it yet.
Many do it. Agencies wouldn't exist otherwise. If you're having such a hard time I'd say just stick to the independents who screen to your liking.
Many do it because they don't care about being outed (Me) Others are simply browbeaten into doing it by providers and hobbyists alike who tell unwitting guys they "have nothing to worry about" when that simply is NOT true.
My advice to hobbyists, new and otherwise, if your life would be ruined by getting "outed", Think VERY hard about giving out your personal information. Good agencies go bad, People get busted and "flip" and some women simply go BSC for no good or apparent reason.
I'd have much to lose but was trying hard to justify it. I'm taking your advice. Thank you.
some of the women here would prefer this to become the "indoctrination" board, but no worries, there are PLENTY of experienced mongers here who don't mind sharing just a bit of our time to make sure BOTH sides are heard.
My words to the guys are the same as to the women, if it doesn't feel "right" and you feel even the least bit uncomfortable about something DON'T do it.
In all fairness, I would like to say "MOST" of the time your info is perfectly safe, but "most" is a far cry from "all" I am sure you would like to spend ALL of your life not getting divorced, fired, arrested, not just MOST of it. lol
Regardless of P411 or references and I haven't had a problem getting what I need to be comfortable making a new friend here in a good long while.
I'll see "newbies" and you can best believe if they want to meet me, I have to get real life info. I'm not bashing gals who don't screen like I do it's just how I do mine thing here and have for over 10 years.
Steph xoxo
and to take it a step further, the average agency is going to have more traffic in a few months than you will in your entire career, each and every new customer of course increasing the odds of the agency getting busted by just that much.
It's a well known fact that agencies have been busted and have given up their client lists in the past. There is NO argument that this has happened in the past and almost certainly will again in the future. So to claim there is no risk to doing so is a specious argument at best, ESPECIALLY when talking about high value targets like a well known agency.
Speaking for myself, and only for myself, I don't mind at all if the lady knows my real name. Come to think of it BOTH you and Tobi have all (or at least a lot) of my personal info and I sleep like a baby, but the OP specifically asked about giving out his info to an agency and it was Marie, not you that gave some rather cavalier advice that was rather self serving and most definitely did NOT address the OP's concerns. I had to reply to add balance to her response.
It happened to me. It turned out great, but I am nuke proof given I am my own boss, and my wife not only knows but blesses my hobbying.
If I was a lady, no way in hell would I see a guy without real info. I seen too many bad thing happen. If I was hiding this from my wife or employer no way would I give it out.
Your name on an agency data base is not going to lead to an arrest unless you open your mouth when they are busted, but it has more then once led to guys being outed.
Of course if something goes wrong and a client goes bad minus real info a sex worker has no recorse. It is a catch 22. Hobbyist put themselves at risk if they give real information and sex workers put themselves at risk if they don't collect and verify that very information.
I personally freely give my real information but I am not hiding anythig. For guys that are it does ad a very real risk to this game.
In the end ladies should demand the information they need to feel safe and clients should only give information they feel is safe to give. If that doesn't match up both should just move on to someone that is on the same page. Agencies and independent ladies are basically in the same bracket. Although agencies are a jucier target.
-- Modified on 9/4/2016 11:10:05 AM
It happened on the GD board only a few days ago. A very well reviewed indy lost her mind and not only posted a warning about a "bad client" on the GD board, but posted his name and number too.
I too am "nuke proof" anyone who wants my real info can find it with just a few clicks, BUT like you if I had anything to hide, no way in hell would I try my life altering info in the hands of a potentially BSC hooker or even worse the hands of a high value target like an agency.
I would agree that the risk is greater with agencies because of the sheer volume an LE/Feds are more interested in them. I felt like I should give my 2 cents because there are some guys advising the newbs to never give out their personal info-ever.
Steph xox
Thanks. Appreciate the input.
I've worked with Boston International before. I've been happy with them. My memory is a little hazy on this, but I could have sworn that they verified me through P411. However, I think I may have had to guide them toward that as it was not their default path. If I remember right, they asked for some personal information and I simply said I'd prefer to verify through P411 if at all possible. Then we got that going through a P411 appointment request or PM or whatever. All of this with the caveat that it's been a while so my memory may be off or Bost Int may have changed their screening procedures or they may even vary the screening procedure a bit depending on the girl. Thus, obviously I can't guarantee that BI will do this for you and I can't even guarantee that they actually did it for me. All I can say is that it might be a work-able option and you should explore it even if BI doesn't bring it up.
So I would recommend when you talk to them that you push a bit towards using P411 for verification. If they take that, then you're good to go. If they don't and you're not comfortable giving out the personal information that they request, I would move on.
GaGambler basically said everything else that was on my mind when I read the OP, so I'm not going to repeat it all, other than to say that I agree with all the salient points he made.
Good Luck!!
Reading your follow up post it is obvious that you don't feel right giving up that information, so go with that feeling and don't do it. GaGambler has some good advice in this thread and I like his comment about "most" is not "all.
Screw them and don't risk it. There is enough out there without those agencies. I would never give mine ou
If that's the case, then don't do it. Yes, you may miss out on seeing some great ladies, but it's up to you whether or not the risk is worth the reward. Personally, I could accept a higher degree of risk in order to gain a higher financial reward (more clients, more $) if I were to lower or eliminate the amount of personal info I require, but that is a risk that I don't find to be worth the potential reward. That's my assessment of what's best for me and only me. The next lady may come to a completely different conclusion.
Some guys will tell you to never give out personal info/that they've never had to divulge anything more than references or a P411 handle, and some ladies will tell you that you HAVE to be prepared to disclose your personal info or you'll never have a quality experience. Both are bullshit. Everyone is entitled to screen and be screened to whatever extent they're comfortable.
the information you are comfortable sharing. There are plenty of providers out there for guys (and ladies) who act in a friendly manner, have good hygiene, etc.
And how is he actually not risking all that even if he never provided his real name, number or place of work or ....
He gets caught up in a bust all he fears is just about guaranteed to come to the front -- and then he'll learn if the activity ruins his life or not.
The guy says he's experienced (not not entirely sure why the post is here) but it that's the case he's either fooling himself in thinking keeping that information locked away some how protects it from ever coming out or has reconciled to that level of risk. If the later, he really question (not really a question it seemed to me) was basically "I'm really hot for these girls but don't want to give my name/number/work to get access. But I'm really hot for them so" and then I'm not sure if he's looking for moral support to stick with his plan of not sharing that info or having someone tell him it's okay so he can then blame them if something goes wrong later. (Or perhaps hoping to start a movement to protest such screening by agencies or indies ;-
I am risking those things. Not only by getting caught up in a bust but also because they can check my cell # and find out info about me. Here's where someone like you says "well what's the difference then?" And someone like me knows that there is a difference.
I don't have to speculate on if it'll ruin my life. It will. I'll definitely lose my wife, that would be a big deal. My career would likely be fine.
In terms of experience and why I'm posting here - I explained that although I'm not a newbie, I am new to using agencies. I'm not fooling myself, I completely get that there is risk of exposure and like you said, have reconciled that I'm comfortable enough with what I give (references).
Since it wasn't clear to you, I'll clarify what I'm looking for - opinions. I was surprised that agencies wanted info that felt intrusive so was wondering if others were comfortable with giving their info and if so, why? I mean what's next...a home visit with the family? Or a meeting with my supervisor? Maybe a copy of the last 3 years of my tax returns? I joke. It's not a big deal...I was just looking for opinions and thoughts and got them so thanks to all.
I'm married, employed with a very well known and prestigious org, hold an ok level position within the org. I feel like it would be a big risk but...they have such great reviews and I've been at this enough to be ok at selecting someone I would likely click with and have a nice time.
I understand (but can pretty effectively argue against) why the agency requires the info so don't need anyone to tell me about that - the reason doesn't make it more palatable. Does anyone have thoughts on if I am being too paranoid about this?
Thanks.
You dont seem comfortable with it so follow your gut 
But given your concern here I have to ask how much the risks change?
That said you might consider one of the verification services a safer group to share your personal info with. If so you could check to see if the agency will accept one of the known third party verifications.
Or you can simply move on -- really no different than the other similar questions here asking about screening requirements and how to get around those one doesn't like.
I have read quite a few discussions on this website in the past year of things going bad, and the guy being outed. Then of course there are very "trustworthy" organizations like Ashley Madison, where ALL of their clients were outed anyway by hackers. If you have a lot to lose by being outed, then you should slap yourself if you are willing to take that risk anyway. Just join a verification website like date-check or P411, but don't give them your real name either, get in by getting provider referrals only.
Providers have stage names when they are in this world, and so should you when you are in this world.
For any additional questions, please feel free to contact me using my info provided below.
Sincerely,
Mr. Hugh G. Rection
Regional Facilities Coordinator
G. Section
Providers have stage names when they are in this world, and so should you when you are in this world.
For any additional questions, please feel free to contact me using my info provided below.
Sincerely,
Mr. Hugh G. Rection
Regional Facilities Coordinator
G. Section
and one of the ways I screen is by whether the provider will allow me to protect my anonymity in the same way they wish to protect theirs. I have the same policy for both independents and agencies and honestly I haven't found much of a difference between the two. If it is clear from a provider's profile/reviews/website that they absolutely require personal info then I generally won't bother contacting them. However my experience is that while there might be a request for personal information on their website, good communication and P411 normally bypass this issue entirely When it does come up, I try to explain my concern and see if we can work around it in some reasonable way ... this usually works and when it doesn't I regrettably move on. Now after I've met someone and we've built up some degree of trust I'm open to mutual sharing of some personal info, but the idea of starting off by putting my personal information info into an email or contact form, where I have no control over it and have no idea what will happen to it, is IMHO just bad, bad, bad!