Avalon is so right about this. It is not always about the long term. I don't want my provider to be my girlfriend, I want to sample the variety that I have not had since I met my SO in my junior year in High School. I don't want to hurt her, I just want to see what I missed in college and fulfill my natural desire to realize fantasy. I don't want to have an emotionally driven affair, I just want to escape my hectic life for an hour or two and to fulfill my fantasies..
NSF
do you think this lifestyle jepordises a girls ability to have "healthy normal" relationships when she quits?
No.
As terrible as it sounds...
All I need is Ciara and Bond, Emma Bond.
All I need is Ciara and Bond, Emma Bond and Avalon
All I need is Ciara and Bond, Emma Bond and Avalon and Suzanne....
All I need is Ciara and Bond, Emma Bond and Avalon and Suzanne and $10 MM....
All I need is Ciara and Bond, Emma Bond and Avalon and Suzanne and $10 MM and a Villa in Italy....
All I need is Ciara and Bond, Emma Bond and Avalon and Suzanne and $10 MM and a Villa in Italy and a ski resort in Vail....
You just wouldnt be able to afford my Payless Shoes !
That's not what you said when we were doing the "handsfree" last night.
Well, an immediate problem would be the possibility that she would scream out the wrong name while faking an orgasm?
Is this too cynical?
Or trying too hard to be funny [if so, sorry; I think i've been banned from the Politics Board]?
It's possibly just a more intense and specialized case of a woman moving from one conventional relationship directly into another without a cooling off period of unattachment?
that 'healthy and normal' are not only relative, but often only skin deep out there in "the real world". You become aware of how much deceit goes on in these marriages, with half of the married party leading a secret life that in most cases the wife is completely oblivious of. I do not judge, and I imagine that many of their wives are off doing what they want to be doing, as well. My point is simply that it would be easy for a woman who's been in this line of work to allow herself to become jaded, feeling that were she ever to attempt monogamy after this lifestyle, that even if she were faithful on her end, he may not be on his. These are central themes throughout most of adult Western culture, but the "working girl" is made very clearly aware of what a "civvie" might only wonder about. There are many questions that women and men need to ask themselves about the truth of relationships and sexuality. Most people prefer not to ask the questions and to remain in blissful oblivion to the largest possible degree, even as they search for their own base pleasures telling themselves that they are not wrong to do it because "after all, it's only instinct". There are no clear, pat answers when it comes to the heart or to human sexuality. Do you bury your head in the sand and cross your fingers that "not this time, not for you, he would never"? Do you admit to yourself and your partner that sexual urges can be hard to overcome, despite the most loving, deep bond, and try to find a middle ground compromise that works for both? That takes a deep level of self awareness, the ability to combine logic and instinct and process painful feelings of jealousy and possessiveness, and in the end, that may prove harder for a couple than the "ostrich-head-in-the-sand" approach. When you take the "ostrich" approach, you can enjoy your blissful illusion of physical fidelity. I argue that when you are honest with each other about your urges and drives and try to be more evolved beings, that will create a truer, deeper bond. I don't know that too many people are capable of that in reality, altho it might sound good to many.
-- Modified on 10/13/2005 7:51:30 PM
-- Modified on 10/13/2005 9:44:20 PM
Someone has been doing some serious thought these days. Bravo.
I don't feel like sharing the secrets of the universe. :P Thanks, MSD.
didn't get what she wanted when she opened the box.
Go and seek your own Truth. 
They more often listen to the sounds of entertainment, than to the crescendo of silence between themselves.
They become accustomed to not speaking of important decisions, they let the crises accumulate due to indecision.
Often they dream and ponder their wants, while they both dare not address their needs.
What leads to a decrease in their communication, but with each day, communication becomes less possible.
So, often seeing a pattern repeat - one would expect the same set of reactants to yield the exact same experimental results. Perhaps Providers would be influenced by the wealth of human behavioral data that they have accumulated.
I don't know. I keep asking questions, but Avalon comes closest to answering them than anyone else with her response. Well enunciated.
And asking questions is the only way that we can ever hope to even have a glimpse at the larger truths. Some believe that truth is individual to each soul. I think that in many ways that is true. Anyway, I could go on, but I don't want to bore everyone with my esoteric babble.
put in a little effort in satisfying her man. That's the main reason men are seeing you because the wife is a denying sex, is unenthused about sex, or is a prude about sex.
for the escort to translate into the girlfriend. The truth is that you are incorrect on that one. Granted, many of the married men we see are in fact conflicted about what they are doing but don't get it at home, or feel justified because they don't get it at home, but there are plenty of men who do it simply because they feel they need the variety. And who am I to say that is wrong? It is man versus nature, and nature often wins.
Avalon is so right about this. It is not always about the long term. I don't want my provider to be my girlfriend, I want to sample the variety that I have not had since I met my SO in my junior year in High School. I don't want to hurt her, I just want to see what I missed in college and fulfill my natural desire to realize fantasy. I don't want to have an emotionally driven affair, I just want to escape my hectic life for an hour or two and to fulfill my fantasies..
NSF
and be real about it. I've always said that I have more respect for the married man that requires variety who hobbies rather than toying with a civvie's emotions and risking his wife's as well.
...but since I've never actually seen an escort (all my reviews are fiction), I'm not sure I'm qualified.
...it's going to be so hard not to jump in person....
I'm with you on this one Lex - I've never seen an escort either....Although its tough keeping my eyes shut the entire time, I do manage to peak once or twice...
-- DH
For one, my ex was more interested in sex than was I. Why? Because we had other more serious issues that were leading me to loose interest in her.... and sex was my one last refuge - from her! Often, as I have posted under this pseudonym.... and discussed under pseudonym's alter ego... if a provider is not personal with me and makes me "feel good about me" then I do not wish to see her.... if she makes me feel like I have pleased her - or provided some brighness to her day, then I truly do wish to seek her services again. There are really few providers that I will see more than once.... and those that I do see more than once... are a joy to me, because I do see them as friends. And yea, to all of the cynics out there.... I do pay for that friendship - but not for the occasional phone call to discuss "stuff" in between appointments! and they do make me smile with those! Something that my ex never did.
But that's just me and Avalon, other couples might be different!
Reading it makes me want to give you a big ole hug!
OOO
Take heart, sweet Avalon, for you shall find your Galahad one day, and he will offer you a love both honest and true, and blissfully free of illusion.
Not at all. I have a normal, healthy relationship right now. My SO and I have been living together for a year and a half. We are more in love than any two people could ever hope to be. He worries about my safety, but takes comfort in the fact that I scrutinize references. I think he would rather I go back to my corporate position, but he knows I truly enjoy this, so he's very supportive.
I think this lifestyle allows providers to gain much insight into the male psyche. That probably assists them in maintaining a normal healthy relationship. Understanding how men's minds work has allowed me to be much more patient and understanding with my male interpersonal relationships.
I think much of what happens to a provider, after she quits this profession depends on whether she enjoyed doing it, why she got into it, and what she takes away from it.
In a nutshell, I do not see the hobby as a jeopardy to a normal healthy relationship.
-- Modified on 10/14/2005 1:43:20 PM
I think the short answer to your question is that in many cases the lifestyle does not help many ladies to have a "normal" relationship while in the business or after this business.
How much of an impact the business has may be hard to quantify since IMO many of the women just like many of the men were not necessarily good at making and maintaining "normal" relationships prior to becoming involved with this business.