I cherish my slow times. I LOVE a long stretch of time off, because the work I do requires immersion and focus. Which is hard to maintain if I'm working a lot.
I'm available by appointment, so my schedule is very variable. If I'm slow, I'll be doing other things I didn't have time for during one of those periods when I'm making a checkerboard out of 5 states (driving from, like an AM appointment in NYC to an overnight in Baltimore, then back up to Greenwich Conn. for a dinner date the next day, then to NJ for 2 dates in different parts of the state on the same day... and so on for a period of days or weeks). But, I could see how touring might be different, as girls want to maximize their investment. If they go someplace, they are there to WORK and I guess $300 is better than $0 during the same time, even if it's not her full rate. However, even in that situation... for me personally, I'd prefer to have a more relaxed schedule. I don't want or need to be working every single minute.A provider I've seen once before will be retiring at the end of the year. I'll be seeing her for the last time next week. She is absolutely the best I've seen, and is probably one of the best in the country. Her rates reflect that: $800/hour, $1600/2 hours, $2300/3hrs.
The prices give me nosebleeds, but I'll pay the $1600 for one last chance to see her. I'd love to do 3 hours, but I just can't bring myself to pay $2300.
She's already given me her prices. Would it be out of line to ask, once we're in the middle of things, if she'd want to go for 3 hours for $2000? Perhaps I could phrase it this way: "Gretchen, I'd really love to stay for another hour, but I just can't do $2300." That would leave it open to her to offer to cut the price. If she has nothing else booked, it's an extra $400.
Your thoughts? I'm terrible at figuring out the right thing to say.
Negotiating or at least "good" negotiating is when you present an option where BOTH parties feel good about the deal. Haggling is just being cheap and whining for a lower rate while offering nothing of value in return.
Negotiating is saying "How about if we pick one of your slower times and lets do four hours together for xxx. (somewhere around her three hour rate). Haggling is, "can you give me three hundred bucks off because I am a broke dick?
If you are nice and respectable that is.
I cherish my slow times. I LOVE a long stretch of time off, because the work I do requires immersion and focus. Which is hard to maintain if I'm working a lot.
I'm available by appointment, so my schedule is very variable. If I'm slow, I'll be doing other things I didn't have time for during one of those periods when I'm making a checkerboard out of 5 states (driving from, like an AM appointment in NYC to an overnight in Baltimore, then back up to Greenwich Conn. for a dinner date the next day, then to NJ for 2 dates in different parts of the state on the same day... and so on for a period of days or weeks).
But, I could see how touring might be different, as girls want to maximize their investment. If they go someplace, they are there to WORK and I guess $300 is better than $0 during the same time, even if it's not her full rate. However, even in that situation... for me personally, I'd prefer to have a more relaxed schedule. I don't want or need to be working every single minute.
The prices give me nosebleeds, but I'll pay the $1600 for one last chance to see her. I'd love to do 3 hours, but I just can't bring myself to pay $2300.
She's already given me her prices. Would it be out of line to ask, once we're in the middle of things, if she'd want to go for 3 hours for $2000? Perhaps I could phrase it this way: "Gretchen, I'd really love to stay for another hour, but I just can't do $2300." That would leave it open to her to offer to cut the price. If she has nothing else booked, it's an extra $400.
Your thoughts? I'm terrible at figuring out the right thing to say.
Yes, but I paid this price before and didn't regret it. My usual price paid is $400 to $500. She's the best I've seen in every way.
She's already given me her prices. Would it be out of line to ask, once we're in the middle of things, if she'd want to go for 3 hours for $2000? ... That would leave it open to her to offer to cut the price. If she has nothing else booked, it's an extra $400.
If you verbally agreed on regular rate 2.5 h = 2000, is she easy going enough to let it reach 3 h? That should make you very happy.
Good luck!
EDIT: I just read TT's post. I don't like the "spring it on her" aspect either. There's the non-negotiating spring it on her, "Can I stay another hour (at regular rate) or do you have something else to do?" That's an easy yeah or nay for her. If she says yes, it's kind of mean to also ask for a discount in the heat of the moment.
When making the appointment (ahead of time), on the principle that TIME = MONEY, why not just ask her to sign you up for $2k? That's AT LEAST 2.5 h. Let her set her schedule based on that and let her decide whether to set a timer and kick you out on the dot or to ease you out slowly and with a big, satisfied, smile.
-- Modified on 8/25/2016 2:02:59 PM
I think your subject line is every girl's pet peeve.
Most of us won't mind if we're both having a great time and lost track of the clock.
However, it's when a guy purposely books a lesser amount of time with the express intent to go over (to a greater or lesser extent) that most girls get a weeeeee bit peevish.
Imagine if every client does that (and a LOT of them try to, believe me). Can you imagine how disrespected and aggrieved we'd feel (I feel that way sometimes, even though I've long since been used to it)?
Maybe you last sentence could work... he could ask for 2.5 hours. BUT not try his darndest to still be pumping away at 2 hours 25 minutes, then stay 30 minutes longer showering and chatting... NOT cool.
The guy has a history with her and he should know if she tends towards 50 minute hours, full hours, not a clock-watcher hours, ...
Also I didn't say, 'Book the 2.5 h and EXPECT to get 3 h' or anything like that. I said, 'book $2k which should be at least 2.5 h, maybe 2.57 h pro rating, and MAYBE, if it's HER decision, MAYBE it will stretch to 3 h, esp if she is known for being generous with the clock and appreciative of this guy.
He should book $2k up front, make sure it guarantees the minimum he is expecting based on her rates:
hour 1 = 800
hour 2 = 800
hour 3 = 700
(350/700) x 60 = 30 min = hh
(400/700) x 60 minutes = 34 minutes = .57 hours
Most of us won't mind if we're both having a great time and lost track of the clock.
BTW, I am not an over-stayer. I'm the one who usually says, "I don't want to mess up your schedule." or "I don't want to take advantage ..." and stuff like that.
The guy should book his personal max ($2k) and hope for the best
as long as he doesn't pressure her, consciously or subconsciously.
In order for it to be consensual, he has to give her an out. Like, 'Well, I hate leaving, but I know our time is up and don't want to keep you...'
Then it's on her to tell him not to hurry out so quickly.
On the other hand, if he's lying naked on his back chatting up a storm (or watching her work her ass off trying for #3), and waiting for HER to be the bad guy... then it's more manipulative
is rooted in expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. In P4P, it's best confined to what is agreed upon. Some of the provider's friends could be telling her to "hope for the best" in wishing that perhaps guys would tip her hundreds of dollars extra. But, that would be fairly irresponsible of the friends because, even if that hope is never outwardly expressed, she could be set up for some disappointment rather needlessly. Even if a client gives a tip every time, it should be regarded as an extra and pleasant surprise and overtime is the same.
The half hour is not a bad idea, but not making moves to get dressed when time is up may send messages. Often, at those rates (with the exception of 90 minute appointments) a request for a half hour increment is not necessarily unwelcome, but tends to suggest a limit of either time or money to the provider. If, at the scheduled end of the appointment, the client isn't seeming like he needs to rush off to something, we work out the limit was money. A money limit is not a bad thing at all, but the not getting dressed and out the door externalizes the hope for a 'tip'
Having only seen her once before, I'd wager a guess that you haven't reached the status of "trusted regular" in her mind, so my biggest issue is that you're wanting to wait until she's in a compromising position to ask her to work for less, and she may worry about what your reaction will be if she says no. If the extra $300 is that big of a deal, why can't you just ask her ahead of time?
I'm not saying that it's your intention, but if a 2nd time client asked me halfway through a 2hr date if I'd do an additional hour for less than my posted rate, I'd feel like he was deliberately putting me on the spot...when I'm already alone with him and therefore vulnerable. That'd really piss me off, personally. Even if I did say yes, it'd be a massive buzzkill because I'd feel manipulated and the rest of the date would undoubtedly suffer.
In this chick's case, her 3hr rate is already discounted (by $100, specifically). I don't quite understand why you'd feel as though she should discount that rate further just for you, unless of course you're willing to accept $300 worth of reduced effort on her part. At least if you ask her ahead of time, she won't have to be in that awkward position. Of course, asking ahead of time means you run the risk of her canceling the date altogether due to haggling, but it's up to you if that's worth the potential $300 savings in the event that she says yes.
So in short, yeah, I'd say it'd be out of line to ask her in the middle of things. It sounds like she's pretty awesome, so why not either spring for the 3hrs or just enjoy the hell out of your 2hrs? No need to risk putting a damper on a great thing for the sake of $300, especially if you're already willing to dish out $2k.
All good points. Thanks
Doesn't what you are contemplating sound very much like the same thing?
I am sure you've reread your own post and all the responses and will come to the correct conclusion.
This is even more likely if she's in high demand.
Why do you feel like you're entitled to pay less? Especially if she's really great. Imagine if you heard someone saying this about another provider, who's mid-price. 'Gosh, she was one of the best I've ever seen, anywhere. I'd love to get 3 hours, but it's 1-hour $250, 2 hours $500, 3 hours $700. I just can't bring myself to pay $700.' If she's steadily getting those rates, she's worth it, no? Why does the fact that her prices seem high to YOU entitle you to a break?
Plus, it's definitely a turn-off... I got a text from a client I'd seen once asking me to do a cheap 1-hour on the fly. He went from 'good' to 'very YMMV' as quickly as it took him to press 'Send'... and yes, even though I didn't take it personally, it felt insulting on some level. I'd be much less likely to see him in the future. And if I did, I'd just feel like, 'Ick, why am I going all out for this guy who has no appreciation for the service I provide?' I'd resent, rather than feel grateful, for his business.
On the other hand, if you're polite, respectful, and generous, women will bend over backwards to please you. It's a great feeling to make someone happy when you feel appreciated in return.
I personally would just tell you that I didn't have the time available, even if I did. What you're doing is kind of like a client who books 1 hour, then asks me when I arrive at the door if I'd take $100 less. I'd slam the door and I'd walk out. Same type of situation here. You know the rate going in, and you can either pay it or not. Or, try to haggle and risk not getting time, or being resented by this wonderful provider... all for $300
I don't feel entitled. I was thinking more along the lines of WWJDD? (What would Jack Dunphy do?).
You're all right. It's not the right thing to do, and wouldn't go over well.
I need to make double what I do now. 
If it is your last time seeing her and will be retiring as you mentioned; then I would go for the 3 hours.