Newbie - FAQ

All depends on the girl, hun.
BrittneyStarGirl See my TER Reviews 345 reads
posted

I, myself, use many avenues to market myself, so depending on many factors I may prefer one form of communication over another.

If I, for example, had placed an ad on Backpage with my phone #, obviously that is the best method of contact for that time.

However, when I travel, I require a more thorough screening which was include a TER PM or a P411 Request, or a photo of Identification, obviously e-mail, or those avenues would be preffered at first, and then, transferred to mt cell- as u had stated.

I'm a phone whore, my nose is always in my screen if it isnt in a pillow or in between some legs ;), so e-mails and TEXTS are my favorite forms of contact.

Also, it isn't just about the medium in which you choose to contact a provider using, it's also your first impression/opening message.

I absolutely hate, 1-3 sentance messages. Please, give me the respect of a well thought out, yet brief introduction of yourself. Your aesthetics, you quirks and qualms, what makea you tick (perfumes, heels, a sense of humor?). And then continue to screening details and appointment expectations such as date, time, location/area.  

I love a well thought out message, especially one that explains why I caught your eye. My tattoos? My eyes? My words? It not only is very pleasing to recieve a compliment, but it also helps me learn what it is about me that sparks the most enthusiasm. And I'll play off on it to tease you in the most succulent ways.  

So, thats me ;)  

Also, many women on here will prefer initial contact through the forms on their sites or a PM on here if you are both members. Seems to be a trend

Okay I am always wondering should I call or e-mail first?  Some providers are e-mail only initially and some say call me but still provide an e-mail address.  I am always shy/nervous about the first contact and use e-mail usually, but lately I've been thinking about calling first.  Also what is an appropriate time to call? morning after 10:00 a.m., after lunch/noon, after mid afternoon?

NoYellowEnvelope566 reads

If she hasn't done that on her web site, ads, p411 etc., then use the option of those she offers that works best for you. I prefer email, unless the provider states a different preference.  

As for time, just be considerate, eg avoid early morning and late-day phone calls and texts.  Often the provider will say on her ad or web site what times are best to call, or to avoid.

will state her preferred method of communication. If there is a situation where she does not, the rule of thumb would be to send an email. At that point, you will find out if text/call is preferred and what times are best for her. When in doubt, just send an email;) Best Wishes;) -Abla

Posted By: AblaCamena
will state her preferred method of communication. If there is a situation where she does not, the rule of thumb would be to send an email. At that point, you will find out if text/call is preferred and what times are best for her. When in doubt, just send an email;) Best Wishes;) -Abla
Good advice.

For a first time approach to a companion, I would suggest as has been mentioned, to see what her website indicates.  Most women will want some basic information that is less cumbersome in an email.  With that said there are women who prefer a phone/text for sure and some providers work late and won't mind the reach out.   That usually is spelled out on their site.  

I think if you are looking at something last minute in the short term, and need confirmation quickly (and you are serious), I would send a text to see if they are available at day/time and let them know in that text you can follow up with screening info fairly quickly but that you are just checking to see a day/time that works for you both.  You don't want to be lumped in with the "RU available" fellows that have no intention of following up;  most women ignore those tire kickers on text, phone and email.

If you are doing some forward planning then email is always good.
Good luck!

-- Modified on 8/6/2016 6:28:17 PM

Thanks, I generally do my research and look for the preferences and my preference is to e-mail first.  

I definitely do NOT want to be "one of those guys, RU available".  If I make the contact I am serious.

Here is another question for you.  How far in advance is just right?  I generally plan a couple of weeks in advance as I generally know my travel plans.  I do occasionally have some last minute opportunities that are usually not planned.

I read a lot of reviews that guys say, hey I called so-so and got the quick clearance and the two call process ....  So that always made me wonder how often that happens.

Except, for me it's a 4-call system to feel you out and see how well a client can follow directions. Lol.

1. Initial contact, info, general location

2. Exact location (always a hotel lol)

3. Floor

Then  
4. TEXT for room ( I dont accept a call, and will leave someone standing in the hall if they do, because they didnt follow my smallest and easiest direction)

A bit Penile, but necessary imho

GaGambler486 reads

Leaving a guy hanging in the hall is No Bueno, and quite frankly making him get off the elevator not knowing his final destination is No Bueno as well.

This is what I refer to as making a guy "jump through hoops" which is a game I absolutely REFUSE to play.

Your method is also highly indiscrete as it has guys getting off the elevator, possibly with other people getting off on the same floor at the same time and then has him idling around foolishly while waiting for your text with his final destination.  

Here is how the conversation would go with me

Me,  "I am here at the hotel"

BSG  "ok, come to the fourth floor"

Me  "ok, what room"

BSG  "I can't tell you until you get off the elevator"

Me  "WTF???!!!"

BSG, "Those are my rules"

Me "Good bye"

This is when I cant screen because I'm short on time because of the CLIENTS wishes, not mine.

If you want to see me without screening JUMP THROUGH EVERY HOOP TO PROVE U ARE WORTH MY TIME

 
Maybe I should have made that more clear. Obviously if ur on HERE or SCREENED I wint give a fuck

But I am a mostly Backpage girl (yes 300/hr on BP still works), so I do what I may to make myself feel comfortable.

I have very bad PTSD and Anxiety in which this 4-step process will show me if I can trust you.

1. I ask you 4-5 questions most providers using my advertising avenue won't, such a general occupation, exact ethnicity, etc.  
2. I don't give my exact location because my location is easy to know once I tell u my area, Long island is just like that. So you already "know" my hotel. It's just to see if you show the respect of following directions.

At the end of the day a man who cant conform to the rules of the woman they are going to see:
A) doesnt respect them
B) is twice as likely to victimize them

And I'm done being a victim. I'm a Survivor.

VOO-doo309 reads

If you screen them beforehand, you'll know WAY ahead of time if they are the type who will respect your rules.  

It might mean missing a few $$$ here and there... but your safety and peace of mind is more than worth $$$ (or even $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$) :)

I do understand your logic a bit (it's a vetting process just like any formal screening process), but I just feel that you're setting yourself up for danger by accepting last-minute appointments without thorough screening.

Just ask the gent to provide whatever info ahead of time, that will make you feel comfortable seeing him :) If he doesn't, it might be money lost... but, you also might have dodged a bullet. At the very least, you'll feel more relaxed and comfortable. Any cool guy should want you to feel that way, right?

They arent happening In the locations I stay in.

In the over a year of being on in Long Island only 1 bad thing has happened with somebody I'd seen before, ironically.

I'm just a very anxious sort. And honestly, I deny more people than I should, dor absolutley no reason LOL

I have seen many, many women over the years and no one has ever made me do that.  

I would find it very odd and my likely response to that would be "later!" LOL

And, imo, I think it would most likely freak out your client without providing you any extra security at all...

...BUT...

If it works for you and your client, it's none of my business

Honestly, every companion is going to be so different in her scheduling preference style that I would just grab the proverbial bull by the horns and go for it when the lady or mood hit you.  :)  There is no one ideal advance framework for scheduling.  Getting you screened will be the most time-consuming part of the process,  and based on her requirements and your information (are you P411 or RS2K and have great references for example?) it could be a hot minute or could take a day or two.  Most women need at least a solid day's notice to get a gentleman screened generally speaking.

Personally, most new fellows who reach out to me take roughly a day or at the most two to screen depending on all of the variables, and I do require a real name.   The shortest was less than a day because one of his references was from someone I have huge trust in for screening and once she confirmed she knew him, he had a fast quick green light.  More complicated screenings can take a couple of days if references aren't responsive for example.   I would suggest you jump in with both feet once a lady tickles your fancy.

DBJHunter277 reads

I would rather e-mail all day long rather than to call a lady. When you call, either they ask you to e-mail anyways (lol) or you go straight to voice mail. With e-mail you can get back to each other at your own convenience. I only make a phone call if I've been instructed to do so

or hobbyist may not be able to talk on the phone at the present time. P4P is all about discretion.

For example, there's one gal I would email (per her instruction) but never heard back.

So, instead I just called and she picked up and said she was free that day, come on over.

She said she is real bad about checking email because there is so much spam.

So, if email doesn't work, call

souls_harbor383 reads

This is, after all, a service business.  Use the method you want.  If she doesn't reply, move on.  The list of providers is endless, and there are always out-of-towners touring through

My hairstylist is in a "service business," but I know that if I want an appointment with him, I have to call the salon (despite the fact that I hate talking on the phone). The list of hairstylists in my city is endless, but I like his work and I respect his way of doing things. Just because it's a "service business" doesn't mean you can't respect a lady's scheduling protocol. If her ad/website says "to set up a date, please email with such and such info," why not just do that instead of texting/calling/smoke-signaling her? If the OP deliberately ignores ladies' preferred methods of contact, he's going to find himself without a date most of the time.  

Being service providers doesn't mean we don't get to have rules or standards.  

Posted By: souls_harbor
This is, after all, a service business.  Use the method you want.  If she doesn't reply, move on.  The list of providers is endless, and there are always out-of-towners touring through.  
   
 

Just common sense to use the contact method she prefers as it can get you on the wrong foot with the girl from jump street or have her just ignore your request, both being non optimal results for any hobbyist but especially for newbs.

Newbs, follow the Tobester's advice here as she is on the mark.

You apparently didn't read the post to which you replied very well, or didn't care and were merely looking for an excuse to say what was on your mind. His point was that you can move on to other providers. Your point was you don't want to move on to other hairstylists. Well, okay. But that's beside the point.

Eventually a provider will respond to the OP's preferred mode of communication; I believe that to be true. Whether it will result in less overall dates depends on how much time he's willing to devote to finding ladies and sending out requests, I expect.

Not that yours isn't good advice, especially if the client is particular. Following providers' rules certainly is easier and more productive.

-- Modified on 8/7/2016 12:34:30 PM

I understood his point perfectly, and simply pointed out that it was bad advice, particularly for the newbie board (hence two very well-respected veterans chiming in in agreement).

If the OP is dead set on making first contact via text, for example, he ought to only contact those ladies whose preferred initial contact is text. Why bother the ones who specifically ask to be contacted via another method? It will demonstrate to those ladies that he does not respect her rules/boundaries, and in the best case scenarios will just result in him being directed elsewhere. That's just wasting both parties' time.  

And the hairstylist example I used was an analogy. I thought that was fairly obvious.  

Posted By: darmody
You apparently didn't read the post to which you replied very well, or didn't care and were merely looking for an excuse to say what was on your mind. His point was that you can move on to other providers. Your point was you don't want to move on to other hairstylists. Well, okay. But that's beside the point.  
   
 Eventually a provider will respond to the OP's preferred mode of communication; I believe that to be true. Whether it will result in less overall dates depends on how much time he's willing to devote to finding ladies and sending out requests, I expect.  
   
 Not that yours isn't good advice, especially if the client is particular. Following providers' rules certainly is easier and more productive.  

-- Modified on 8/7/2016 12:34:30 PM

souls_harbor452 reads

If you are booked to the gills, you can throw up any hoops you want.  That's just supply and demand.

For those with too many empty slots, people who study marketing know that you want to grease the skids for ease of contact.

Get that contact, get that contact, get that contact.  Then move it to your preferred form if that is essential for some reason

VOO-doo313 reads

Doesn't translate to verified dates. We want good clients, not a huge volume of emails and phone calls asking 'R u avail now? GR33k??? Rates???'  

Also remember that a lot of us are one-person shows... your example might work for a large company, but there are only so many emails one person can answer in a given day. I personally would prefer to receive fewer emails with a high proportion of potential leads, rather than muddle through 1000 spam-like pastiches of illiterate nonsense... even if it means missing a date or two.  

Even answering a question or two, followed by a generic request for screening, can take a few minutes - multiply that by the amount we get over a given day, and it actually can translate into a sizeable chunk of time, believe it or not.  

Also, there are reasons as to why we do what we do... the 'rules' are not always arbitrary. For instance, I don't provide a phone number until the date is confirmed, because I don't want people buzzing me whenever they're bored, or texting me because they're horny as hell and outside my door. So if a guy skips over me because he can't text me to chat, or make an appointment within 1.5 seconds, then we wouldn't be a fit anyway.

...this is the newbie board.

Giving advice here to not follow a provider's preferred method of contact is just simply bad advice bc a newb  may never find out why a certain girl didn't get back to him which plants doubt in his mind if he is doing the wrong thing or if this business is even for him or not.

Also, many newbies live in areas where there are VERY few choices and cant just roll to the next girl as there may only be a handful of good providers that also meet his needs in his entire area.

There are more than enough obstacles in p4p that we don't need to create anymore, especially for someone so new to this gig.

souls_harbor273 reads

You've reversed the situation.  In this case we were discussing, the provider is skipping the potential client.  I get that from a provider's perspective the client should do everything that pleases her.  I'm just saying that from the client's perspective he should use the contact method he finds most comfortable.  If the provider objects or doesn't answer, move on.  It's not that hard to find a provider who will respond to email.  
 

Posted By: VOO-doo
So if a guy skips over me because he can't text me to chat, or make an appointment within 1.5 seconds, then we wouldn't be a fit anyway.

Now you're giving bad advice with your alias. Why don't you just stop giving advice and stick to the MN board.

I, myself, use many avenues to market myself, so depending on many factors I may prefer one form of communication over another.

If I, for example, had placed an ad on Backpage with my phone #, obviously that is the best method of contact for that time.

However, when I travel, I require a more thorough screening which was include a TER PM or a P411 Request, or a photo of Identification, obviously e-mail, or those avenues would be preffered at first, and then, transferred to mt cell- as u had stated.

I'm a phone whore, my nose is always in my screen if it isnt in a pillow or in between some legs ;), so e-mails and TEXTS are my favorite forms of contact.

Also, it isn't just about the medium in which you choose to contact a provider using, it's also your first impression/opening message.

I absolutely hate, 1-3 sentance messages. Please, give me the respect of a well thought out, yet brief introduction of yourself. Your aesthetics, you quirks and qualms, what makea you tick (perfumes, heels, a sense of humor?). And then continue to screening details and appointment expectations such as date, time, location/area.  

I love a well thought out message, especially one that explains why I caught your eye. My tattoos? My eyes? My words? It not only is very pleasing to recieve a compliment, but it also helps me learn what it is about me that sparks the most enthusiasm. And I'll play off on it to tease you in the most succulent ways.  

So, thats me ;)  

Also, many women on here will prefer initial contact through the forms on their sites or a PM on here if you are both members. Seems to be a trend

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