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Re: She isn't "making" you do anything - she's terrorizing you and you're giving in 

Posted 4/29/2012 at 5:50:57 AM

Well said and true!

The only concern I have is whom else will they attack next?
they obviously have jealousy issues so anyone could have to deal with this crap. I really do hope they get caught.


Posted By: Ally Moore
I know it looks like you only have one choice right now but the fact is that isn't true.

Once someone learns a piece of information about you they're going to do with it what they will unless they know there are repercussions for their behavior.

When I was outed it was without warning.
When a close friend in the same market was outed a week later to her parents and friends in the same fashion she was warned- she complied with the warning and it was done anyway.
When letters were mailed to my home year before last, I kept doing what I do.
When letters were mailed to my parents home, I kept doing what I do.
When a woman called me and left a voicemail with my social security number last summer...I kept doing what I do...I just traced the "blocked" number, let her know that her information, postal letters, voicemail would be forwarded to my lawyer, put alerts in to the credit bureaus and kept doing what I do.  
Lo, when confronted with the prospect of catching a charge suddenly everything all was quiet on the homefront again.
Stalkers love to make you feel marginal and like you're trapped in the darkness.  Sometimes you are...until they cross the line and do something illegal and then you actually have recourse.

Retiring, going UTR, announcing every move that you're going to make is the worst possible thing you can do when you're dealing with a person who threatens to cross over into your real life.
Anyone who has EVER been outed and I mean really, hardcore, dossiers-mailed-to-neighborhoods, reviews-sent-to-family-&-friends outed will tell you do not play it out online.  I did it and God I wish I had a time machine.  Its only going to drive you crazy when no one can offer you the resolution that you need. Its real to you but its just a pity, five minutes of board entertainment or hobby gossip to them.  Handle your business behind the scenes and you'll be much less panicked and frustrated for it.  

Again, online jealousies, arguments etc. typically play out and run their course once someone realizes that they're wrong or the parties simply tire of the futility of drama- but there is no such luck with the insane.  They don't quit and they don't tire.
If you acquiesce to her demands today...there will be more demands tomorrow.  
Playing this out on the boards will only satisfy her temporarily.  Eventually she'll get bored and resume toying with you again and it will be much, much worse than making bitch comments and threats.

Real women just say what they have to say, no matter how it will be received, whether its right or wrong. Cowards mail anonymous letters and make threats.
Please just go to the authorities, using the postal mail to threaten is a felony.  You keep discussing it so obviously she's not convinced that you're willing to do so.  Once she gets a sense that you aren't afraid to involve the law I'm fairly certain she'll cut it out.

I really hate to return to this subject, but this is something about this business that I positively detest. I really hope that you do what has to be done so that you can get some peace over this.  If you need anything you can PM me again...but one of the ladies on the PO board really does have resources that can help you.


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