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Re:So are you saying...I see you haven't:
SS344 5 Reviews 2665 reads
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 lost your touch Lex! Lol. How ya been!

Tig Ole Bitties5920 reads

I had a very lengthy conversation with my friend this morning who swore we were life mates and wanted to leave his wife for me. He said that I was correct in us not seeing each other again and that he had came back to his right mind. Although things are home are bad, he will not get a divorce nor will he be seeing me or contacting me again and that he is sorry. He said I put new life in his body (he said this) and that he found himself deeply in love with me. I told him I understood, that I wasn't angry with him or what happened and when we hung up we departed as friends and wished each other well. I admit we had great times together. He was just so wonderful and I loved how excited he got when he told me he was on his way over and then seeing that happiness and joy in his eyes when I opened the door and the big way that he smiled and I would hug him and kiss him and he would hold me for a long time and the good times would start. After our good times ended we would sit and talk for the longest time. I knew so much about him. I like how he opened up to me and was so relaxed. That was before it got kind of crazy. Afterwards he was calling me all the time and wanting to see me every day for long periods then he was starting the talk about leaving his wife and divorce and us being together and then I realized we were at the point of no return and that our good times could be no more. But why am I sad? Because after thinking over this recent incident and the past ones I wonder just how much longer do I have left in the hobby. This isn't the first time I have had a friend fall in love and threaten to leave his family for me and it probably won't be the last though I wish it were. Everytime this happens I have to give up seeing a friend and I many that I see on a regular basis. I have had one friend tell me he wanted me to stop hobbying because he doesn't want to share me. He is married with four kids and he says that he will pay me what I usually make in the hobby every month but he just wants me to stop and see only him. Really now. As is his wife won't notice all that money missing when she tries to shop for groceries or by the kids shoes for school. I am not bragging but I enjoy what I do. I do get into it and put my heart and soul and other things into but now I am thinking is that the problem? I can't be cold and mechanical or fake because that is not who I am and I would lose friends then I would have no choice but to leave the hobby and I just don't want to leave the hobby. I am having so much fun. So far I still have the ones who do know the fine line between real and fantasy but what if they get that line blurred too like the ones before them? I don't want to break up a family. I don't want a relationship but I can't help but to think, what if this happens again? What the world to I do? Should I ask for feedback from my friends about my performance or ask them how they feel about me? I say no because they might think I am going there and I'm not so I don't know what else to do but just be me but at what cost? I'm bummed. :(

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stilltryin253734 reads

You did the right thing in setting the hobbyists that fell for you straight before they went off the deep end. You will always meet a man that takes your affection the wrong way, that is simply life and nothing that you can do will change that.
If you see a hobbyist, perform to your maximum and enjoy yourself. You will be cheating yourself and him if you do not. Lift your head and look toward the bright sun on the horizon.

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UmaykisstheBride3147 reads

Because someday you may actually have strong feelings back for one of your "friends". You may actually fail at protecting that ”heart and soul” of yours. You may find your routine of “cold and mechanical or fake” may actually represent true feelings of love for another human being that you care for.

And then what the hell do you do when you he can’t handle you “coming home with the smell of another man's dick” on your breath...

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
I have always enjoyed your posts. Yet I lost all respect for you and your input on this board when I read your response to my post. You placed yourself amongst the small percentage that didn’t believe. Aside from not believing, you felt the need to shoot us down. You and those like you here, are the reason we have kept our love relationship over the last three years off the boards...

Good luck to you and your life.

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Tig Ole Bitties2511 reads

Umaykissthebride, you are free to feel how you do. I am sorry you lost respect but I don't take back what I said. It was an honest question. It wasn't meant to insult you but that happens quite frequently and as others said, you are posting under an alias talking about you proposed to your ATF. I didn't shoot you down. I wanted to know if she would still escort. If what you said is true good luck to you both. I don't wish you and your lady bad luck. It just came off as hard to believe. But you feel the way that you do and you are free to post to my questions and others. We all have opinions and not everyone is gonna agree with them. Again if what you say is true, best wishes to both of you.

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CiaraHasFun2151 reads

That was harsh !


But ! I'm sure she'd use listerine :)

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UmaykisstheBride2598 reads

...and I thought totally uncalled for when she said the same thing to me in my post below.

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Anne Hecht1859 reads

that you want a relationship   So I am responding from your other entries....

I saw that you were heartless with umaykissthebride, but probably because  before that you seemed pretty sad....is your hear t aching?  seems so....yes you are powerful....so don't get defensive.

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Tig Ole Bitties1539 reads

LOL I guess you are the one umaykissthebride is engaged to. LOL I do not want a relationship. If I did I would have had one long time ago. I would have taken this guy up on his offer to leave his wife because he is very wealthy. My mother is asking me for kids and a husband. When I want one, I will get them but not right now. I don't want to deal with the headache of calling a boyfriend and spending time with him and the nagging. I had a boyfriend before and that's why I don't want or have one now. So I say good luck to you and umaykissthebride. :)

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Tig Ole Bitties2266 reads

I would more than likely have to give up the hobby as I can't see any real man being ok with me still doing this although it goes on all the time and I am not ready to leave. :)

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HandsFree2531 reads

Ok, I get your drift, but this is the second time we've heard this lament from you and I don't get it.  So what are your reasons for staying in the hobby? Most women who could be married to a "wealthy" man or woman would jump at that chance and oh, don't give me the "home wrecker" speech. BTW, some real men can handle a woman being in the hobby; sometimes there are other reasons. To suggest that we are not capable of loving someone in the hobby is to say we only value you for what you do. Are you then saying that since you are a whore no REAL man could love you?

-- Modified on 9/29/2005 9:31:47 AM

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Woe is me2489 reads

"I wanted to ask him if she will still provide and if so if he is cool with his wife coming home with the smell of another man's dick on her breath? I guess I will wait for my invitation in the mail. :)"

"I can't be cold and mechanical or fake"

You gotta be you! Good luck with that. (LOL)

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CiaraHasFun2403 reads

If you are in it professionally theres no worries.

When you feel yourself getting wrapped up, or them getting wrapped up, stop seeing them

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HandsFree2215 reads

I wondered why you lay there thinking of me and watching all that porn. Please love me a little less this week.

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CiaraHasFun1996 reads

I know the real reason why they call you Handsfree! You touch me with Big Benji as soon as you walk thru the doors.

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HandsFree2230 reads

You are a winner. Come let me get some real soon.

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junior4572149 reads

The loss of a relationship outside my marriage is what brought me here. I didn't know where else to go to find that feeling of love that I had shared with her. Her leaving me or breaking up because she didn't want me to leave my marriage for her and be branded "the other woman" has struck a fear in me....a feeling of abandonment almost. Although my marital life isn't bad it is barren of love....I awake each day and play a role one I have played for 10 years and one in which I have lost myself in.

It wasn't until I met her that I lived and breathed for the first time in years. Although there is nothing I want more than to be with her I am affraid since she won't commit to me anymore that if I do leave..........and she won't be there for me........then what have I done to my children. I know they would want me to be happy.......but she is what brought me happiness....without her I will continue to sacrifice my life for my children.  

Seems as if we have experienced similar things recently. I am available should you want to talk/chat/write about them.

Best of luck and be well everyone.

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stilltryin251719 reads

Really. Great post, it touched on the essence of what seems to bring a lot of married guys to hobbying. I hope that you meet many like the woman that you love, if only for a night.

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junior4572215 reads

How does the song go....."If you can't be with the one you love then love the one your with!!"

I have said this many many times.....money can't buy you love....but I have rented a time or two!!

Stay well...and Keep Tryin!!

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Tig Ole Bitties1830 reads

Whoah!!! Thank you.

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mrfisher2823 reads

I have been doing the hobby thing for over 15 years.  I've known at least 4 women for over 10 years, so you know I like them quite a bit.  I stopped seeing one for a year as she wanted to explore a monogamous relationship with one man.  That failed, and we're together again.  I got divorced three years ago, and I never intended to develop another similar relationship ever again.  Why should I with all the fine ASP's there are?  Then I met the one, and I fell in love with them, and they with me.  So, so much for that theory.  At least, since she is also an ASP, she has no problem with me seeing other ASP's, nor do I with her continuing in the biz.  Admitedly, that is a rare situation, and it's only been for a few months.  The moral is, don't arbitrarily cut off any options because of "societal" reasons.  Be true to yourself, and if something seems right, go for it.  As Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) once said:  "Do the right thing.  Your friends will stand by you, and your enemies will be dumbfounded"

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sexxygirrl1908 reads

I stayed in a marriage for two years thinking I couldn't possibly subject my kids to divorce.

Like you, I felt I had to "sacrifice" my life for my kids. Not true--when you are happy, the kids are happy.

As it turns out everything was fine. Kids are extremely resilient and mine are doing great. They see their dad several times a week and he often takes them on camping trips, to baseball games, etc. (In fact they have more "quality" time with him now than before the divorce.)

I understand it doesn't always have a happy ending like this, but if you can put aside your bitterness towards your ex-spouse and move on with your life, your kids will do just fine...and you will be free to find a relationship that gives you great happiness.

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no joy in Mudville2278 reads

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HandsFree2813 reads

This was good advice though Junior may not have the confidence you have about being successful, plus if he could sling dick for a living, he'd be in Washington or some other place that needs pages.

-- Modified on 9/27/2005 2:46:59 PM

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no joy in Mudville2137 reads

Since we're having a chick flick moment here....

He had the confidence to approach her and fall in love with her in the first place. Unfairly for her it turns out. He had a safety net, 2 really, marriage and hobby. She didn't, or at least that's what it sounds like. She took the leap of faith for him. If he wants to be with her badly enough, he'll find the confidence again. Or she'll find someone who will elsewhere.

What she really doesn't want is a man who won't take that risk for her without needing a net to fall back on. Because I've never met a woman yet who will bat an eyelash at being "the other woman" if the man is prepared to back her against all opposition and make HER his only safety net.

Ok, that gave me the creeps. Where's my Dirty Harry tape?

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stilltryin254593 reads

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Smarty11011933 reads

never the less, as the old wise man (smarty) once said, your children will love you more and you in return when you have extricated yourself from the fake love you wake up and pretend each morning (your words)

When there is no love there is no life. Life passed me by twice for the same reasons holding on for the sake of. Now my children (older) wished it had happened earlier.

You will suddenly find her at the check-out counter or bump into her in an accident. That's what I am told. For me, I ain't looking...twice burned is.. well you know the rest.

Never again! In fact I hobby because the ones I tried with eventually wanted marriage, even though prior they were cool with just a platonic. When I was given the ultimatum, that was the end.

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sicnarf2522 reads

My ex never understood the vows of marriage - and as such, our performance rated a 2 - our appearance of a marriage rated an 8 or 9.  All but our closest of friends thought we had the perfect relationship.  the divorce was liberating...

Keep in mind, that keeping kids in a very unhappy marriage, with tension may not be the best way to go.  My relationship with my kids has not suffered because of the divorce - in fact if anything it has improved.  

Good luck.

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avalon_rose2181 reads

I am afraid I try to cool them off pretty quickly in one way or another, because I dont' want to string anyone along or hurt them. Yes, I want to help people and bring them happiness. I do not want them longing painfully for something that won't/can't be. That's hard... And some men go right up to the line of comfort (meaning they might like you too much but you're not sure)and you're not sure which side they fall on. But eventually it always gets resolved one way or another. Incidentally, I think this may be why some low ratings are given to otherwise high-rated ladies, because the man senses that there is a reason she is distancing herself. It would be so great if everyone remembered what "the hobby" is about. However, I can also understand how someone could be in a difficult mental situation and find themselves being more emotionally needy/greedy than they normally would be in a hobby situation. It really takes finesse to do what we do in a way that gives the best that we can give without causing harm. I'm sure you do your best as well.

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Lex Luethor3558 reads

...that I should stop bringing wine, chocolates, and an engagement ring on first dates?

No wonder the ladies were distant! I just figured they didn't like chocolate.

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avalon_rose3893 reads

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SS3442666 reads



 lost your touch Lex! Lol. How ya been!

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