Backpage ad deciphering code:
BBW = fat
Voluptuous = fat
Curvy = fat
Curvaceous = fat
Thick = fat
Rubenesque = fat
Womanly = fat
Hourglass = fat
Super sized = fat
Pic of face only? = fat
Pic of body under bed sheet? = fat
Gives bra size only? = fat
Busty = either saggy or fat
Naturally busty = saggy and fat
Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly
Slim = no boobs
Svelte = no boobs
Slender = no boobs
Dancer's body = no boobs
Runner = no boobs
Spinner = no boobs
Yoga = no boobs
Bombshell = fake boobs
Baywatch = fake boobs
Playboy = fake boobs
Model = fake boobs
Brazilian = black
Butterscotch = black
Caramel = black
Chocolate = black
Cinnamon = black
Creole = black
Cuban = black
Dominican = black
Ebony = black
Egyptian = black
Eritrean = black
Ethiopian = black
Exotic = black
Hawaiian = black
Mahogany = black
Mocha = black
Mulatto = black
Nubian = black
Mixed = black
Mature = old
Courtesan = old
Gracious = old
Graceful = old
Refined = old
Elegant = old
Classic = old
Conservative = old
Original = old
soft skin = old
Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:
College Student = late 20's
Just turned 18 = mid 20's
19 = possible jail bait
21 = late 20's
28 = late 30's
no age? = same as "28"
Intelligent = brunette
Sorority Girl = blonde
Selective = overpriced
Exclusive = very overpriced
Classy = can't afford lingerie
Freaky = doesn't shower between clients
Nasty = doesn't shower at all
Upscale = snooty personality
All American = all trailer trash
Princess = I have an attitude problem
Party girl = I'll be high on drugs
On fire = active herpes outbreak
Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service
coed = plain looking with acne problem
girl next door = looks like the boy next door
Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures...
Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds
Energetic = methamphetamine addict
Down to earth = boring
College graduate = sleeps with professors
open minded = openly accepts tips
two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff
New to business = changed name
New to area = changed name and moved across town
Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town
Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.
Discreet = I check your ID
Discrete = I can't spell
Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me
Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly
Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners
Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat
I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.
Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money
snowbunny = white girl with a black daddy
Available 24/7 = my daddy doesn't let me sleep
AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my daddy can't type
aD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my daddy is learning how to type
You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed
You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry
CMT = good massage, bad sex
FBSM = bad massage, good sex
What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:
Unless specified, you can assume:
hair color = brown
hair length = to shoulder
eye color = brown
age = mature
height = short
weight = heavy
cup size = small
measurements = larg
Gotta love the quasi racism sprinkled throughout.
In fact, I'd say the racism is rather overt.
Obviously written by a guy who likes young, thin, toned white blondes, with long legs and large, natural, perky breasts. What's wrong with him?
Despite all that, I've never seen it ... and I confess.
It did make me smile this morning - bc it is funny.
Funny, and somewhat true. Generally I have found most businesses advertise their weaknesses. I once bought "The last shovel you will ever buy" and it turned out to be the last shovel I would ever buy... from them. I bought a "never kink" hose that always kinks, and so on. But the key I have found is to do your research, listen to reviews, and read into those ads/comments.
Once I went for a provider who had advertised for a few years with the same photos and then I was surprised to see that pics were a few years old, Duh!
We need to use all of our faculties to make the best choices. Bottom line, information is golden and up to date photos are necessary. Find a provider that has current photos, many photos along with lots of data and good/great reviews. That's a provider to hang on to. We have the luxury (here) of a lot of providers. Do your research!
Trust other reviewers when you see they have similar taste to you and they seem to share similar concerns. My list of providers I trust is very small but I can be sure of what they provide. Delve into risky territory and it is 'Buyer Beware.'
Less than reputable providers are discovered over time. The reviews point out the problem girls. Be patient and be aware.
why keep trying if the site does not do it for u?
I find the same shit in the ad section of TER.
Don't believe me? Read them for yourself.
right lol. never been on BP, never will...
What would YOUR ad say? Lol!
While I found this to be crude, it is funny.
Why would you expect your fantasy to be your reality on backpage?
That is a place where you accept that you will compromise before even typing the address into the address bar. If you want something as close to what you are looking for expect it to be "overpriced" which in your situation is "out of your budget."
I don't know why girls on BP lie or use fake pics. It does not benefit them in any way.
Girls place "upscale" in their ad because they think that it will attract "business class" type of guys, but regardless of what is in the ad, it has potential to attract anything.