Porn Stars
[PRANK - NOT FOR REAL!]
alright colonel, you want it so badly, so i'm giving it to you! just don't let it be said that singleton doesn't have his fellow hobbyists in mind 
the truth is i actually did meet with Ginger last month but since she was getting ready for some kind of big media event (a competition i think, probably one of those world record deals) she asked me not to post a review (especially not on BD or TER) which is why you all haven't heard about it (yet)
now as for our wild ride together, what can i say, except WOW! let's just say i now know what Charlie Sheen meant by Ginger being a real thoroughbred thru-n-thru. you really need to have a 500-hp engine to keep up with her and after we were done i was weak in the knees for days 
although if i had passed my tests she would've considered some (not all) things bareback, i did need "protective gear" for other things (let's just say i definitely need a saddle strapped on to go on a wild FS ride with her). as far as oral skills go, she gave me an incredible mind-bending blow and my little carrot (well, it's not THAT small!) was totally consumed!
out of respect for her i really can't get more "graphic" than that so you of all people colonel will understand i'm sure ... in the final analysis even though i'm really an Amber-man at heart, let's just say that i wouldn't throw Ginger out of my bed in the future, but she most definitely IS mucho expen$ive for my little pocketbook! LOL
-- Modified on 9/4/2003 8:44:49 AM
folks, in case it wasn't glaringly obvious, my post above was a tongue-in-cheek joke (maybe too tongue-in-cheek)
in fact it was basically designed so that if you DIDN'T click on that link, you could walk away not knowing it was a joke (which is basically the art behind this kind of prank
if you didn't already figure it out (or even if you did) try re-reading it and taking note of all the equestrian references
i figure this "clarification" was in order since more than one person PM'ed me asking for info on her rules and rates and whether i got DFK or whatnot! LOL (the colonel however was NOT one of them!
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believe me .... i WISH i could afford her ... although if i could i'd probably spend the money on Amber Lynn instead (who's MY 80s porn legend!
-- Modified on 9/4/2003 9:46:39 AM
you may have a point! ... though you're the only person who's said so (so far), whereas others have said quite the reverse. nevertheless, that's why i quickly (in a matter of hours) added the addendum ... and to be frank, only ONE person PM'ed me who thought it was for real (not his/her fault) and since i didn't want to make him/her feel "bad" i embellishingly said several people had, is all
without getting into a needless discussion about what's appropriate on this board (god forbid it should be humour) i'll leave it up to MichaelCA ... so anyone who thinks "it wasn't funny. It only served to confuse people and waste their time." ... feel free to tell MichaelCA
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is it me, or do some folks (not you caguy, i'm generalizing) take this board WAY too seriously? like it was the industry's #1 clearinghouse of pertinent info and timely news
let this be a testament to what a [cough] "nice guy" i am ... that i'm willing to yield to a "member of this board" who in his humble opinion thinks i should delete my post because "it wasn't funny" and it "wasted his time"
now apparently this member of our community has no PSE reviews and in the last 13 months (at least) has contributed a whopping THREE -- count them 3 -- posts to this board ... two of them QUESTIONS ... and the third post being this very criticism of me that you see up this thread
so being the [cough] "nice guy" that i am, i went ahead and botched my own joke, put a parental warning label on it and even santitized it for "public" consumption, lest it should accidentally inconvenience or misguide any other members (or even visitors) of this board
see .... singleton is a "nice guy" ... and as you said ... "he diffuses a heated topic with humour and jokes"
LOL
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[sigh] ... just be glad y'all don't know the REAL me ... LOL 
ROFL LMAO ... etc etc etcetera!
-- Modified on 9/4/2003 2:14:54 PM
you took my bait pal ... LOL ... and for that i'm eternally grateful!
see dude, the thing is this, you and i have some "un-finished" business ... oh yes! ... i NEVER forget ... i almost had decided to let it slide off my back and not give it a 2nd mind ... but deep down i just KNEW you were itching to stick it to me one more time ... frankly the first time you did it (jumped down my throat that is) you ended up making a fool out of yourself (remember?) and even the moderator had to step in and tell you to cool off (so as to not embarrass you any more than necessary, i'm not gonna bother pull up that link) ... and the 2nd time you did it, i had to teach you some "remedial math" but that episode at least ended somewhat civil-like
but NOW ... you jump down my throat yet again ... and we must return to that "unfinished business" .... oh yes ... we most certainly must (cuz it concerns a 3rd innocent party!) ... and it goes something like this ...
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"yo' JLD ... you've been 'friends' with Mia for a coupla years, right? ... so hey, let me ask you a question... do you remember a time when she charged $400 and was actually happy to get it!? what? i'm just asking (like YOU did) ... oh one other thing... did Mia ever introduce you to her ex-boyfriends/husbands? just curious, is all"
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sound familiar? no? ... are you SURE? ... here, let me refresh your memory:
http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/ViewMsgBody.asp?BoardID=23&Messageid=14362
http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/ViewMsgBody.asp?BoardID=23&Messageid=14881
NOW do you remember my friend? ... LMAO
see here's the difference between a (relative) newbie like me and a (self-proclaimed) "playah" like YOU ... you actually have the unmitigated gall and audacity to make such assinine comments about a PSE lady provider when you KNOW in fact she'll be reading that thread (in that 2nd one you actually wise-cracked that snide comment RIGHT IN THE VERY SAME THREAD that Samantha had posted her touring info! [sigh]
are you getting the picture PAL-o'-mine!? ... it's amazing to me, how some supposed "seniors" can be so utterly crass and rude to some of the ladies on this board (relax, you're not the only one, just the one i'm reaming right now) ... how you guys get away with it is beyond me!
what gives? were you raised by wolves perhaps? maybe i was too, who knows, but at least mine must've been SHE-WOLVES cuz i still know how NOT to disrespect and insult a lady on this board
are you catching my drift? ... IS THIS LOUD AND CLEAR ENOUGH FOR YOU? ... or should i write a dumbed-down Cliff-Notes version of this post for you and other "seniors" like you?
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frankly, if i was a pornstar (which alas i'm not) and i was watching how some of you guys were crudely (mis)behaving on these boards, i wouldn't want to have ANYTHING to do with your like and kind ... how you've managed to earn the respect of as many pornstars as you so (braggingly) claim you have is a complete mystery to me (and if true, then i don't know what that says about the ladies you're associating with)
are we clear now? do you have any more questions?
[sigh] .... the humanity 
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oh yes, i almost forgot ... [yawn] ... HAPPY HUNTING ... [yawn]
that means "on the contrary" btw ... au contraire, i think it is YOU who's upset and/or ashamed (well, should be at least! and you're just masking it with that [cough] insightfully clever comeback ... but hey no matter, if i was in your shoes i'd do the same, believe me! LOL
it's both funny and sad, but i think somewhere along the line you (wisely) acknowledged and learned to live with your own, how shall we say, "limitations" and in what must've been a [cough] "moment of clarity" for you, thought to yourself that if you just automatically replied with mono-syllabic one-liner grunts, added a few silly effusive acronyms at the end (LOL,ROFL,etc) and then signed off with an inane childish catchphrase (like "HAPPY HUNTING") ... that somehow ... automagically! ... you would come off sounding more wise and grounded than you actually are, yes/no?
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so here's an idea, cuz i'm really thru wasting time with you and your kind ... i suggest you verbally joust with your equals from now on (and if-n-when you work your way up to me -- in a coupla decades, then i MAY take you on again ... HEY! i just got another great idea ... try @ssFan! ... i'd say he's about your intellectual equivalent and he's a buggy little critter too ... so the two of "yous" should get along just fine and dandy. in fact, you know what i think? ... i swear, he really really likes you (maybe even admires you) cuz he's taken to you a lot and is now signing off his posts with HAPPY HUNTING as well ... the two of "yous" will make purrfect bedfellows ... espeially when it comes to insulting the ladies!
LOL
it's all relative ... while i can't divulge what i make (believe me it's not all that Grand i will say that my mortgage is ~$2500/month and after all my legit expenses the discretionary income left over is NOT enough for me to splurge twice my mortgage in one month!
and while we're making small talk (my favourite ... i will say this -- now that i've entered the PSE game (little head first in order to be fiscally responsible i've already set a maximum limit policy for myself which is this: except in very special circumstances (uber-ATFs, legends, irrational spur-of-the-moment horniness and uncontrollable PSE pussy lust) i DO NOT plan to ever spend more than $1K/hr on any pornstar!
it's true, without bashing agencies which serve a purpose i guess (just not for me) i will NEVER fork over $400-$500 willy nilly to these guys for what i feel is bare minimal management of these gals and their services (i'd rather buy these ladies special gifts with that money! ... so booking direct is my way or the high way! LOL
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believe me, even if had the money to waste, i would still not do it and since i'm now finding that i can book most of the girls i want directly and all within that sensible limit ($1K/hr) ... frankly i just can't fathom the kinda guy who would, say for example, splurge $20K/hr for Jill Kelly! ... but now Traci Lords [wink] is a different matter! LOL (just goes to show how absurdly irrational this all is when you come to think of it