You have a few things working against you that have nothing to do with your race. Many ladies have a minimum age of 40 before seeing and a LOT more will insist on multiple references.
I wouldn't stress over what happened/s with any one provider, just keep moving along and you'll find what you are looking for and the more ladies you see, the easier it will get. I put almost as much thought into ordering a pizza as I do ordering a hooker as I order a lot more hookers than pizzas. I enjoy them a lot more and they don't cause me to gain weight. Yes, they do cost twenty times more, but I enjoy a hooker at least twenty times more than a pizza. lolhello all,
I am newbie to this hobby, recently signed up for TER VIP and got myself verified and screened on P411.
Now 2 weeks in, I am experiencing a catch-22 dilemma: the providers I want to see will not see me unless I have a basic plus x membership on P411 (x being provider vouch for you), and those that are newbie friendly I dont want to see. And then there's also the issue of some providers with good reviews and history on TER and listed on P411 are not communicative (one is on here but I shall not name), even when I follow the recommended tips on being courteous in my email and communication (no mention of specific activity such as request MSOG or something). So how should a newbie go about getting references and actually book somebody? I also think is my ethnic background play into the decision? Is there certain stigma that providers have for certain ethnic background and it's common practice for providers to refuse to communicate because of it?
I am just an average guy, in my 30's, 6 figure income, not out of shape, but it seems this hobby has some unwritten rules that I am not aware of, and it's quite discouraging to newbies, even when we play by the rule.
Don't lose hope! You think your frustrated, try being a new provider and trying to get clients, now that's a tough sell. I believe your best bet would be to actually see a "newbie friendly" provider, and ask her to give you an "OK" on P411 and also ask her if she can be used as a reference. Most providers are sticklers when it comes to there rules, and the requirements they want from there clients. So if you are looking to see your dream provider, then I suggest you find a newbie friendly provider that has a 15-30 minute time frame or rate, get a simple service, tip well, and ask her to be your voucher and reference. Hope it helps!
Good Luck
-- Modified on 5/5/2016 5:41:03 PM
yep, did reach out to a "newbie friendly" provider, not it's a one way communication. Like few other I have replied, I really think the only reason is being "Asian", I really cant think of anything else, as my age is in the normal range. Since she's listed as "newbie friendly" my P411 status of being just basic member shouldn't be the issue.
Whether it is racism or just personal preference, I would not want to be with a provider who was unusually uncomfortable with my race.
I too have never run into any problems because of my ethnicity, well I take that back, one time I did get a response that a lady could not see me because of my race, that lady happened to be Asian herself. After a brief "WTF" moment, I moved on and forgot about her. This was one time out of literally thousands of encounters.
Possibly felt she might get recognized in the local community?
and she didn't have a "no Asians" policy, she had a "white guys only" policy, no blacks, Asians or Latinos, or I suppose Native Americans, Arabs, Martians or anyone else not lily white. lol
She worked at an agency and I assume they simply went by the P 411 profile without putting any further thought into it. I thought briefly about responding that I am mixed and not "that type" of Asian, but then immediately felt like I was being self demeaning and remembered my mantra, "I will beg for pussy, I will pay for pussy, but I will NEVER beg to pay for pussy" This seemed way too much like begging to pay for pussy to me.
At least I got a small taste of what the black guys through all the time and while I respect a woman's right to be racist, lets call it what it what it is, it's blatant racism 90% of the time.
Hmm. I'm interested in language. If you won't fuck a guy, does that make you homophobic? Sexist?
You used the word "blatant" which I transcribe to mean unforgivable or unjustifiable.
You've adjudicated preference into sin. Why wouldn't everyone want to maximize their most rewarding encounters? Why must they climb on the cross you have built for them?
Preference is preference. Being an aging nerdy balding guy I can point at all the ladies who are "lookists" toward me. boo hoo. Fact is they have more pleasing options. By what right do I have to make them sacrifice what would be more pleasant to them in order to accommodate me?
Get the definition of blatant correct and we can have this discussion. Otherwise we are debating based on a false foundation.
People who are interested in discussions find ways of having them. People who are afraid of being challenged find ways to end discussions.
oh man, you should see how many times I see that shit on OKcupid for regular dating. Some intense self racism
Some perspective at link.
You have a few things working against you that have nothing to do with your race. Many ladies have a minimum age of 40 before seeing and a LOT more will insist on multiple references.
I wouldn't stress over what happened/s with any one provider, just keep moving along and you'll find what you are looking for and the more ladies you see, the easier it will get. I put almost as much thought into ordering a pizza as I do ordering a hooker as I order a lot more hookers than pizzas. I enjoy them a lot more and they don't cause me to gain weight. Yes, they do cost twenty times more, but I enjoy a hooker at least twenty times more than a pizza. lol
interesting, so providers to prefer to see 40 and above?
a much larger percentage than those who wouldn't see an Asian guy.
It's a numbers game. Just keep going until you find that "one" provider who will take a chance on you. We all had to start some where. Once you get the first one "rinse and repeat". You will be Good to Go. There are lots of ladies who will take a chance on you. Just keep going and do not give up. Good Luck!
How many providers have been shutting you out? I am not seasoned but have not had much trouble getting dates. No doubt some are more stringent than others and I have had to sometimes give out where I work.
From your one review, I assume you're in New York. There's got to be a newbie friendly provider somewhere in Gotham that you find attractive. Start there. That woman may not be the girl you want to see today, but she's the girl you can see today. It's not all that hard to establish ties. Just work your way up.
As for your ethnicity, yes some woman may discriminate. Move on to those that don't. I'm not in fighting shape, and I'm in my 50s. Once I got "established," I've had no trouble having my inquiries answered. Hang in there, bud. Pm me if you want to talk further.
but it does happen, and there are a myriad of reasons. You didn't mention your ethnicity, but that is always a possibility for your problems. Yours is a familiar story on this forum, and I wish there was a good answer for you. One thing you might do is lighten up on your requirements for the newbie friendly providers, see one or two even if they are not quite what you are looking for. At least this will get you some possible references.
If you are following the basic rules of etiquette in your contact with providers, you may have to offer up some additional personal info to get your foot in the door with some of them. As far as unwritten rules, many providers have their own, and unfortunately, there ain't a damn thing we can do about it. Just keep in mind, you are not the first one in this situation, and you won't be the last, and it happens to the ladies too.
Hang in there, pc, just be patient.
LLAP,
Sswim
hi,
thanks for the reply, sorry I forgot to mention that I am Asian (Chinese-American, borned and raised in NYC).
Now, here's the million dollar question to providers, is race (skin color) and major deciding factor? I guess I was naive when I venture into this hobby, I didnt expect this kind of discrimination is a thing, especially in this industry in a major metro city as NY.
I have booked literally thousands of appointments over several decades, and I have spent most of my life in the deep (racist) south and I have only been rejected for race one time in all these years. It is highly doubtful that you are being discriminated against because of the shape of your eyes, ESPECIALLY in a city like NYC.
BTW I reject the label "Chinese American" for people born in this country. You are an AMERICAN, just like anyone else born in this country, an American of Chinese descent yes, "Chinese American" most definitely no. Anyone the tries to add a hyphen when describing what "kind" of an American I am is likely to get punched in the face. I am just as American as anyone who can trace their ancestry back to the Mayflower and so are you. (political rant over)
If you look for someone on P411 who advertises as newbie friendly, you should be OK. If they advertise that way, they should have the experience to put you at ease. Early on, I saw a provider who was willing to take my personal information (LinkedIn profile, but she was established, so I trusted her.) I found that I was too nervous, so I didn't enjoy it as much. If my first dip into the "high quality end of the pool" had been with someone who catered to newbies, maybe she could have put me more at ease. (Or maybe not, I've definitely learned what YMMV feels like.)
In any case, have fun and don't take it personally if you don't have fun on the first go-round.
Unfortunately the one I contacted never replied, after a second followup email I think I got the message. Probably being Asian (chinese-american, horned and raised in NYC) is an issue.
I wonder what kind of stigma asian client has? Hoping some providers willing to be candid and share with me. I personally have seen some providers sites and ads said "no black men" but have not seen any against Asian clients, but I am curious.
I wonder what kind of stigma asian client has? Hoping some providers willing to be candid and share with me. I personally have seen some providers sites and ads said "no black men" but have not seen any against Asian clients, but I am curious.
Do you have a photo on P411? Did she even LOOK at your profile? (You would have gotten a message that she had.)
Even if the answer to all of those questions is YES, I personally think it's more likely your lack of references. Or something to do with how you contacted her; something you wrote or even DIDN'T write.
I've seen ladies require that prospective clients make a clear date request: when, where, how long, etc in their first contact to get a response. If you don't put that in there, she won't reply.
Others will not reply if your message is not completely generic & businesslike. So if you wrote, "you have amazing reviews & your fans rave about your skills..... looking forward to experiencing them for myself!".... then she will not respond to you.
Just because a lady SAYS she is newbie-friendly does not necessarily mean she will give each and every newbie a chance. In some cases, it really means that if she happens to be slow (not getting enough business) when a newbie reaches out, THEN she might see him. 
For me personally, my profile is "newbie friendly" but I actually only meet those who will take the additional step of joining RoomService2000.
As to discrimination? I personally have never heard of any stigma regarding Asian (Chinese) clients. Others, yes.
But these are based upon personal experience, rather than some idea the ladies randomly got into their heads.
I've had enough problems with men of a particular persuasion that I now prefer not to see them. But I don't flat-out refuse to see them: I hold them to much stricter screening standards and very close scrutiny of all their information.
Luckily, I get very few requesting a date anyway so it's rarely an issue for me.
And I'm NOT talking about African-Americans.
Keep in mind that this lady could simply be flaking out. Her failure to respond isn't necessarily about you. 
-- Modified on 5/6/2016 8:48:58 AM
in reply to this part : "I've seen ladies require that prospective clients make a clear date request: when, where, how long, etc in their first contact to get a response. If you don't put that in there, she won't reply.
Others will not reply if your message is not completely generic & businesslike. So if you wrote, "you have amazing reviews & your fans rave about your skills..... looking forward to experiencing them for myself!".... then she will not respond to you."
I agree with Debra. How are you messaging them? When I get these types of first messages it turns me off. I'm not a new restaurant or an amusement park ride. The best messages I get are friendly, informative, and don't mention sex, hobby, reviews, etc.
Oh man, I always mention her great reviews. This is a thing?
hi,
maybe that's where I made the mistake, I did mention reviews. As for being informative, can you provide some example that works for you?
African American?
Asian American?
Asshole American
Asshole American?
Hello
I'm brand new in this hobby and just started contacting providers.
What does 'Newbie Friendly' mean, exactly? I took this to mean the provider is open to seeing someone who has not seen anyone before, and thus, has no references, but that a pre-screening service like P411 is acceptable.
My first choice says she is 'Newbie Friendly' on both TER and P411. I've registered on P411, so I contacted her through their interface, introduced myself, and let her know this is my first experience.
She wrote back through their interface and said she requires at least two whitelisted providers I've seen, or 2 safety okays from preferred411.com, or on Humaniplex.com, and that it is non-negotiable, and to not contact her back unless these requirements are met.
This is quite obviously a 'Catch-22', as being a newbie I've not seen anyone yet, thus I cannot supply these requested documents.
Can anyone advise?
I've written to several other newbie friendly providers on TER but they do not reply to my emails.
thanks
Adoni
I hope someone answers you. I can think of a couple of possible reasons:
1) You may live in a very small market, where the chances of accidental indiscretion is high, five-oh pressure is fairly heavy, and the ladies need to be very careful.
2) There may be something on your profile that's off-putting.
I can't speak to either, since I can't see your details. However, I live in a mid-sized market, found a "newbie-friendly" provider through P411, went through her screening, and her whitelist has been the key to the gate for me. Since I'm not a high-volume hobbyist, it has helped to have okays from a couple of well-established providers in my market.
One hint I can offer is that you may want to consider a more mature (30s or 40?) provider. They're generally a little more confident/less nervous with newbies, and they do know how to rock the GFE! Even if your main fantasy is the schoolgirl, think about going MILF a couple of times to get established.
....it may not be your dream arrangement, but it is a foot in the door. And eventually, after you've built up some equity, you can move up to an arrangement more to your liking.
And you want to make sure the plumbing works well, as long as we're drawing the analogy.
It seems obvious that if you have a six figure income you have some spare cash to buy your way in.
You say you don't want to see some newbie friendly providers. Not sure why, but see them anyway. Problem solved.
-- Modified on 5/6/2016 3:20:48 AM
hi,
too bad NYC is also super expensive to live in, I am not exactly having a lifestyle that I can wipe my butt using $100 bills
I get what you're saying about seeing newbie friendly providers, believe me I have reached out to quite a few. but just as Debra has pointed out (from another reply), that not all newbise are created equal and guarantee a successful book upon first contact. With the lack of response I've gotten, the situation just prompted me to think if other factors are involved (race, age, etc).
But Debra did point out how that mention review is a big turn-off, perhaps that's the big mistake I made. What I thought would be a compliment turns out to be the total opposite, so I learned something new and will make sure I never repeat the mistake.
For them to feel safe and you to begin to explore. Review these providers and move forward. The hobbying world will open up to you. See it like homework...and there are many lovely providers who are newbie friendly! Have fun!
I am newbie to this hobby, recently signed up for TER VIP and got myself verified and screened on P411.
Now 2 weeks in, I am experiencing a catch-22 dilemma: the providers I want to see will not see me unless I have a basic plus x membership on P411 (x being provider vouch for you), and those that are newbie friendly I dont want to see. And then there's also the issue of some providers with good reviews and history on TER and listed on P411 are not communicative (one is on here but I shall not name), even when I follow the recommended tips on being courteous in my email and communication (no mention of specific activity such as request MSOG or something). So how should a newbie go about getting references and actually book somebody? I also think is my ethnic background play into the decision? Is there certain stigma that providers have for certain ethnic background and it's common practice for providers to refuse to communicate because of it?
I am just an average guy, in my 30's, 6 figure income, not out of shape, but it seems this hobby has some unwritten rules that I am not aware of, and it's quite discouraging to newbies, even when we play by the rule.
You are not shopping for a LTR. You only want an hour of her time. STOP trying to find the "perfect girl" on the first date. Put her on your bucket list for later, if you are that attracted to her.
As a newbie, you will make mistakes (again, as we all did.) Let's say you DID actually connect with your IDEAL girl, then make a newbie mistake & she won't see you again. I suspect repeat appointments are maybe 50/50... for a variety of reasons. You don't want to blow your appointment with Ms Ideal.
You want to learn the ropes with Ms Good Enough for an hour
age, income, being average or above average, in shape or out of shape, or ethnic background has anything to do with your delays. The girls, especially the ones that you desire to see, HAVE to be and feel safe. That, I think, is their number one prioroty.
This is a risky business for all of us, and not something to be taken lightly or without very careful thought and research. Respect the ladies' reluctance and know that it's not a personal judgement on you.
Just be patient and confident; someone will eventually take a chance on you and may then be very glad that they did. It's happened to me, so it can happen for anyone.
Am I the only one who read that he has looked at newbie friendly girls and he said he don't want any of them? That's why he has joined P411 and TER
I'm new as well and I'd just say keep trying until you find that "right girl". I have emailed several girls that are knock outs and have been able to convince them to see me. If ur emails aren't working, change them up a tad, and try something different.
One thing I do always tell them, and maybe this will help, is where I work and that I'll be glad to send them a brief email from my company's email address. Just write in there "hey Mercedes, is this still your email address"? And be sure and tell the girl that's what ur gonna write. Seems to work for me.
As far as ur race, I wouldn't even bring it up.
#justsayi
We not only saw it, we told him to rethink it. All he has to do is put out a little seed cash seeing some newbie friendly providers and the doors will open to his real goal. Maybe he wants to do it on the cheap, but it doesn't sound like he is hard up for cash.
Not saying that's the case with the OP. Sounds more to me like he just doesn't want to see anyone (ie. spend money on) who isn't what really tickles his fancy. He doesn't actually "want" any of the newbie ladies, therefore he is reluctant to engage their services, even if just as stepping stones to those he truly "wants".
A lot of girls won't see AA at all ...
to all those that have replied, thanks for the tips and encouragement.
I was busy at work so I didnt reply yesterday, but the best thing I can do for now is be patient. I did manage to connect hear back from 2 providers but didnt confirm any bookings. I guess I will see where that will lead me.
As for the race thing, that's outside of my control and I cant change who I am. I will just have to stay positive.
Hopefully in a month things will be very different from my perspective.
EDIT: also learned that mention reviews is a big no-no, I didnt realize that, consider lesson learned.
-- Modified on 5/7/2016 11:48:18 AM