Fast Eddie's post about YMMV is what inspired me for this. I've usually gotten great service by being a bfe and doing my homework. I used to bring a small gift or tip, but I stopped doing that and here's why.
A while back I went to see a provider (non PS) at her incall. I had to drive over 2 hours to her city, and she was the only reason I went. I made a 2 hour appointment. I arrived on time, in business casual attire, brought a rose and a card and placed the donation inside the card. The donation covered the time and an extra 150 tip. I had read reviews knew what expectations to have based on those reviews.
When she opened the door I presented her the single, long stem rose... she seemed thrilled. I gave her the envelope and since it was a peculiar shaped, she asked if it was a card... again she was thrilled (remember it contained the donation and tip) about getting a card and an upfront payment.
We had the appointment, but I received no "extras" in the service. She told me I was her last appt. and since she knew I had a long drive, she offered me her room for the rest of the night. She then dressed and left, but I observed the rose and empty card left resting on the dresser.... I thought to myself, "why did I bother". Five minutes passed when a knock at the door came, there she was telling me that she had a change of heart about leaving the room she booked with a stranger and asked if I understood. I said yes and left.
I have never since brought a gift for any provider, nor have I tipped them. I have also noticed, that I have never gotten any less of a service. So what did I learn? Going the extra mile in expenses isn't worth a damn. I just arrive clean cut, smelling nice, completely shaven (above and below), tell them they're beautiful and I get a good service.
I have also come to learn that you must show a provider that she can be safe with you... that is, safe from being arrested by you, safe from catching an STD from you, and safe from suffering physical harm from you. Once she knows that, then good times are often had.
In closing I say, save the roses for your wife, the champaign for your mistress and the card for your mother. This will prevent you from losing your pension and your inheritence and will keep a regular smile on your face far longer than the hour an escort will spend with you.
i've had few gifts tossed aside but being a born cynic (i didn't have to go to cynic school you see 
i didn't take it too hard
frankly, what really gets my goat is providers with (pretentious) wish-lists! i purposely give them a cash tip (if anything) because i know every Thomas, Richard and Harold is bringing them the very same item that's on their list (usually the cheapest one! LOL)
one notable encounter which illustrates the power of "doing one's research" was with a PSE who collects kitchen magnets! i knew this because i had read her entire online diary on her website! LOL ... and i also happened to collect them myself (mostly from far flung corners of the world while travelling). so i brought her a couple i had purchased few years ago in Sydney which were kinda cute (suffice it to say they were unlike anything you'd find around these parts) ... now was THAT the reason i got a freaking great bang for my Australian "buck"? actually i kinda doubt it. but even if it was, it was still a small part of the whole "package" which is moi-self!
LOL
I look at it this way:
There's no way to know whether bringing a gift got you a better experience or not. Not unless you have a time machine and can go back and try it both ways. 
So, I view the date like a real date. I almost always show up with something in hand, some small gift. Not necessarily "cheap" but something I can get past the hotel dick without raising suspicions.
Most people, especially women, like to receive gifts. If she shows her appreciation by going the extra mile, all the better. If she doesn't, it's ok. And who knows, maybe bringing a gift doesn't get you a better time... but does put you at the top of the list the next time she's got a scheduling conflict...
As they say, YMMV.
What hotels do you go to that still have a "hotel dick"? - lol.
Actually, I've gone into hotels lugging flowers, wine and a bag full of video equipment with the tripod sticking out... do you think I'm being too obvious?
Yeah, Those Damn tripod legs allways give us away
tripod? ... who needs a freaking tripod? ... it's GONZO all the way bay-bee! LOL
yet another area where "my master" and i (somewhat) disagree
--
i have access to computer-controlled steadicams, but alas i haven't been able to talk any PSEs into doing that kinda outcall ... i suppose more "gifts" are needed !
Yes, I mostly shoot POV, but sometimes I like to have both hands free, I think I can find something for both of them to do at once
helmet-cam !?
trust me, they're not hard to jury-rig. just buy one of these little (wireless) I-bot cameras (or even cheaper/$20 ones at CompUSA), take like a baseball cap (or any other sturdy headband/etc) and VOILA! ... you can directly download your own "cyber-phuck" to your laptop ... in fact wasn't this the deal with the "data-discs" in that movie STRANGE DAYS (1999) -- with Ralph Fiennes and Angela Bassett?
it's a BRAVE NEW (pervy) WORLD we live in gentlemen!
and my GOD is technology .... so GOD bless silicon!
Check out StreetBlowJobs.com, kinda cool, A camera in a pair of glasses, helmet came wouldn't be that bad either as long one those damn NFL refs didn't come with it
Actually, ALL of the hotels in NYC since 9-11 have had "hotel dicks". On my way to an appointment with Kathy Willetts, I was stopped at the door by the hotel security who would not let me upstairs until I identified the person I was going to see.
Prior to 9-11, I was stopped at the door by the hotel security on two occasions.
So, yes, they still exist. You may not notice them, but they are there.
I think you just had a bad experience. I only see PSE's, I see about 15 on a semi regular basis and about 6 on a more frequent basis and I always bring a small gift, usually a scented candle or flowers on the first date, and since I always have a large garden and a small orchard, I always bring them fresh fruit and vegetables, that are in season, and I always get extras, multiple hours for the one hour price and sometimes a free one, I have been invited to Christmas and birthday parties, I have been taken to dinner and lunch and the ladies pick up the check, I've been given autographed DVDs and videos, books, glassware, one time a PSE sent me a dozen roses, furniture, a clock radio with CD player, a television, a desk clock made with semi precious stones and an inscription that said you rock my world and the PSEs name, I've bee invited into their homes for a home cooked meal, and have been introduced to family members, mothers, brothers and sisters and friends who aren't in the adult biz, I've been invited on shoots, both magazine and videos(THATS A LOT OF FUN) I was recently given a set of luggage by a PSE, when my sons car broke down, a well known PSE in the LA area gave my son her used car rather than trade it in on her new one. I have to say that my small gifts have paid me back 100 fold and I have never given a PSE a cash gift.
HAPPY HUNTING
JLD
Many ladies love it when you give them gifts (I have given gifts as small as a single rose to as large as a lap top computer or video camera) and as you said many times will repay in kind, with dinners, copys of videos and/or Dvds, overnight stays while on tour, even let you stay in their homes or invite you on weekend getaways in their hometowns and sometimes best of all contact info to some of their best friends in the industry, some you may not even know are providers. If you treat people well all the time, as fast Eddie said even if it only seems to pay off 1 out of 30 times, it will be well worth it. You would be shocked at how friendly many of the ladies can be once you get to know them
Your point is well taken, and you may be right 98% of the time regarding gifts... but when it comes to spening $1500/hr, another 50 bucks isn't a big deal, and I figure if it makes a difference even just once out of 30 times, you've broken even. But that's not the main reason I do it... I think meeting pornstars are different than meeting non-ps providers, in that you've probably seen the girl many times in her videos, and I see a pornstar because I've enjoyed watching her in movies... So in a way the gift is my way of saying thanks for all the pleasure (and whacking material - lol) she's given me.
If you are giving a gift to get better service, then it isnt a gift...I dont understand your logic.
BTW thanks for the scented candle, Eddie. I hope my sincere gratitude is enough to make it worth it. I burned it every night for a week in my livingroom and thought of you every day that I did. It was very thoughtful, and its nice to know that someone doesnt expect extras in exchange for a thoughtful touch.
xoxo
Jenn
You should never expect better service because of bringing a gift and thats not really the reason I bring them, I'm just that nice of a guy, just ask me I'll tell you...but seriously, I just love treating people well and many times it does come back to you in the end (no pun intended
Is a "tip" part of the pay, or something extra?
If it's expected as part of the person's pay for services, or salary, or whatever, it's not a tip or gift. If it's something extra, that you don't have to give unless you feel like it, then it's a tip or a gift.
Does that explain it?
Jenn,
The gift of the card and rose was not intended for any "extras". I wanted to make sure I was nice and figured if it got me something more than great and if not, that's fine. I just mentioned that I got the same service as everyone else who had posted a review. I had a good time with this provider.
What got me was that she was going to leave the rose and card behind... that's what made me wonder... "why did I bother, if it didn't come with money, then she didn't care". I know a rose is not much and neither is the card, but if it's just a pain for the provider to take home, then that's an extra few bucks for me to spend in the hotel bar after the appointment.
I just posted one experience where the gift brought a smile but was left behind... I've had other providers do the same... always with a card or flower. She was the last straw... like I said, I had a good time, but figured why spend the money if she's just gonna leave it behind.
Well put and I fell you, but nothing makes me feel better than when I get the chance to go to a ladies house and the birthday card, or get well card or teddy bear I sent is sitting on her dresser or on top of her TV, or call me and allmost be brought to tears that I thought of them on a certain day and for those few times I think it is well worth it
Consider this.... the gift and card may have been very much appreciated, but in all likelihood this lady is leading a secret life... she has friends and family who don't know what she does for a living. So it could be difficult to explain to the people in her "other life" where the gift and card came from.
Imagine that you're married (which you may be). How easy would it be for you to explain to your wife where a personal and possibly intimate gift came from?
Just a thought.
When possible, I always compliment the meeting with something they might appreciate. Generally in their websites, there is a list of gifts they like, so I try satisfying them in that aspect.
The few ladies that I have met do appreciate what I have brought them so far or at least while I am there.
I think you just had a bad experience from one that does not appreciate you going the extra mile, and should not be something to discourage you from doing it again. Nevertheless, gifts are just that and isn’t something you should be expecting a payback on.
Live on.
LOTR
-- Modified on 9/2/2003 10:09:53 AM
