Kay, you're a gem. So is Jill & it hurts for a friend to suffer as she has, which is compounded by the heartlessness of a few on this board.
For those of you who genuinely responded to Jill in her time of need, I truly thank you.
I remember a time a few years ago when a beautiful lady in my community announced that she had only 4 months to live, as she had exhausted every option in defense of her second bout with breast cancer. She took a chance to reach out for help, and the community at large responded to her with nothing but love and affection.
It is with the greatest of regret that I had the disgusting pleasure of reading Jill's hateful, most awful spite mail. To the author of those emails I need not remind you of how your feelings of inferiority are showing.
It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, particularly during a time when the news of the big "C" is delivered, not only to Jill, but to any of us. Who here can honestly say that they are fully prepared and educated about cancer? We all know a little about cancer, most of us know someone who either survived or succumbed to cancer, but Jill did not deserve the negative energy that was cast towards her for being human, for being afraid, for being confused and under the impression that she might find help on a board like this during one of the most frightening times of her life.
I would just like to make one thing crystal clear for everyone, to make one small statement for the sake of clarity, on behalf of anyone who might think that Jill's priorities are warped...
Jill, against my most adamant protest, decided to get implants. It was a personal decision on her part, and nothing I said was going to deter her from taking that step. So, she scheduled a tour, and her surgery thereafter; all the while I'm still protesting the alteration of her beautiful body.
In order to verify that her surgery was a go, she called at the end of her tour for her mammogram results, so that she could get the go-ahead for the implant surgery. The news was that there was something that came up on the mammogram, and that she would need a biopsy. Crying, she called me and I was so worried for her.
Two weeks later, after her biopsy, she calls me again crying, this time to tell me that she had breast cancer...
I honestly feel that the implants saved her life, she's in phase one, which was diagnosed so very early and the prognosis is very good. I sit here every day kicking myself, because had my protests been taken seriously, had she decided against having the implants done because I was successful of convincing her otherwise, she would not have gotten the mammogram that very likely saved her life!
I am just so thankful that she disregarded me and my ability to be very convincing. I'm thankful that she caught her cancer early, and while she won't have the implants, she will have her life.
Having cancer must be like having claustrophobia, it's there, growing, moving, and reeking havoc. She's frantic to have the surgery, which is scheduled at the end of this month, and she's frantic that she won't have enough to fund the surgery on time; which brought her to these message boards for help.
In the end, I am reminded of our beloved Tammy, who succumbed to cancer on an Easter Sunday, who was surrounded by her friends and loved ones. She was loved greatly, and is still remembered so fondly. Had it not been for the implants I might have someday been here fondly remembering Jill also....
Kay Graham
Kay, you're a gem. So is Jill & it hurts for a friend to suffer as she has, which is compounded by the heartlessness of a few on this board.
Kay, awesome post! Jill is lucky to have you as a dear friend.
Was that supposed to show that her priorities were not warped?
It just showed that she was super lucky to get diagnosed.
For you to be kicking yourself for giving her great advice is just plain weird.
and for you to respond whilst hiding behind an alias further clarifies that the people out there who are unable or unwilling to offer support are the biggest cowards.
Nicely said Kay..and Jill, we love you
V xx
Very few women get mammograms before the age of 40. I'm sure that Jill, being very healthy, didn't have a mammogram at the top of her "things to do today" list. I surely didn't consider the presurgery screening a huge priority, given the end result would mean the alteration of her body.
I, like Jill, was focused on the end result, not the process. A good friend would have considered that a young woman having a mammogram is always a good thing, but that thought was lost until it demanded consideration.
Had it not been for the mammogram Jill likely would have found out much later, when she was supposed to start having mammograms done. I'm a little more introspective than your average bear, so her news was quite an impact. I'm sure if you think about it, huh, you will understand that giving great advice doesn't always go hand in hand with fate and destiny.
I sure learned something from this experience, and to watch some people observe the surface of Jill's experience, without seeing it for what it really was concerned me greatly. There is a message here, and the outlandish judgments blurred it's delivery.
Remember, a fool learns from his own mistakes, and a wiseman learns from others.
Kay Graham