thank you!  but i wasn't attempting to advertise, so if you'd like to e-mail me, i'd be happy to.

Actually, I'm not "pontificating" at all, merely frustrated at having my limits constantly pushed and tested, when all I want to do is what I do and do it well.

Full service providers can and do charge more for the same reasons that TER will give a provider an "8", "9", or "10" in a review--because she will offer up more sexual services than someone else (i.e., no condom, swallow, anal, etc).

As far as being a "rubber who tugs":  Again, I've never felt pretentious about the adult business, in fact I love sensuality, to the degree that I'm comfortable expressing it.  If what my "client wants" is to do something that I'm not consensually going to agree to, that's just too bad, so I merely want my clients to know what is and what isn't going to happen up front, not lead them down a merry path making them think something "might" happen just to get them in and out the door.  I've told clients clearly over the phone before going on outcalls, "I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU", just like that, only to have them try to push me down forcibly later on, then tell me after I squirmed free, "I just thought you were trying to be discreet"!  Clients will read into something like "no full service" until the cows come home, it seems, regardless of how emphatic you make it.  I want clients to come see me who don't have the mindset that keeps recurring in reviews, "She knew I wasn't interested in the therapudic (sic) part..."  I'm a "rubber" who spent thousands of dollars to go to school for a full year and then be on the job for several more, and while that may not be the number of years in an institution to pursue a master's in finance, it is still a lot more effort than a "rubber who tugs" has made.

The problem, I think, is the target audience, nothing more.  I stayed off of Eros for a few years, even though people kept recommending it to me.  In that time I had regular clients who would come back once a month or more for years, and I was seeing a few people each day, with NO reviews.  I was under the radar with LE and never had to experience any fallout from people expecting more than massage.  I think when clients become "hobbyists" they adopt a different mindset that is more dismissive and attention-challenged.  I've never wanted to marry a client, and the fact that a client likes young pretty girls is perfectly understandable.  My position in the business is not to be an escort but a massage therapist who offers a little extra "kick", and there are people who frequent therapeutic only therapists as well as women who provide a little "more" regularly, because massage is something you do more regularly than frequenting escorts, and for entirely different reasons and benefits.  It's apples and oranges, and I won't disagree with you about men liking young girls or variety, of course they do.  It doesn't offend me or make me feel in any way lessened or inferior--I'M NOT TRYING TO COMPETE for escort business, it's the clients who confuse what I do and what they expect, not the other way around.

And, considering I have only posted my own concerns and frustrations and not attacked you or anyone else personally, why have you chosen to do so to me?  If you personalized my comments, you must be feeling defensive for a reason, but I didn't insult or attack you.  It's always the same in a forum like this:  when you try to express any prevailing DIFFERING opinion or perspective than the norm, you always get attacked.  Thanks for being so consistent, but then I expected it, especially here.  This is, after all, the venue that gives men who are expected to be respectful on the street the anonymous opportunity to become their guttural secret alter ego.

-- Modified on 12/5/2004 2:05:41 AM

And regarding the "playboy philosophy" and fatuous theories:  I am the first no-nonsense plain-talkin southern gal to cut through the BS and just call something for what it is.  That's why it's so disappointing that a great percentage of clients don't have the ability to see the difference between:

1)  A certified and licensed massage therapist who has put in her time and money to train and can therefore provide, to the clients who want it and "get" the difference, a skilled therapeutic massage WITH the sensual bit (for the clients who have different priorities and just want to bang a hot new chick every week, godspeed, THAT'S THE POINT).  If, like so many posters who have been to see FBSM therapists who focus a great deal on the therapeutic part, aren't interested in that part, WHY GO?

2)  A woman who is simply not comfortable with full service but has no training in massage and just wants to charge a little less to dance around, tickle your back, and then either "tug" you or suck you off -- this is gleaned from the REVIEWS, btw, not my own assumptions.  I was hard pressed to find ANY review that said that the massage, both therapeutic and sensual, was a complete one hour experience.  it was ALWAYS like a brief prelude to everything else, a rubdown before getting "on with business", business of course being at the least oral (it doesn't even fit, like those pictures on Sesame Street where one shape is different from everything else...  really, when did this start?  i've been in the FBSM massage business for 8 YEARS, surely longer than probably anyone working in Chicago right now, and when I started, SM was, similarly to therapeutic, a MANUAL experience that involved some form of massage from beginning to end, for the amount of time that you had paid for.

Once again, am I disappointed that clients who prioritize full service and endless variety and youth want to call someone else?  NO!!!  My point is, I WISH THEY WOULD, rather than come to me and ask me to do all the things I'm not in business to do, or hold me up to templates of expectation that don't even match what I'm about.  I score high in some categories that the young hot FS girls in question can't even hold a candle to, and then they excel far beyond me in other categories that I won't even try to excel in, because I'm NOT INTERESTED in competing with them with the same type of presentation or for the same results.  You sell different things with different tactics.  If you offer different things, everybody can find what they like, and not everybody will like the same thing.  Apples...  Oranges...  One is crunchy, one is soft and pulpy...  They are different...  Anything getting through, or is it as I'm starting to understand, different from other cities, that Chicago is a town where no one appreciates a genuine CMT with credentials who also provides sensual massage (and that means an appreciation for and accentuation on the "therapudic" portion of the massage, with a desire to have the sensual thing thrown in as an extra, not the main event)?  Your lack of vision serves to confirm that for me, which is precisely what I was suspecting and trying to confirm.  Thank you for saving me a lot of trouble, I think I see better options on the horizon.

-- Modified on 12/5/2004 12:58:46 AM

-- Modified on 12/5/2004 12:34:57 AM

I provide only FBSM, but only because FS would mess with my head. FBSM helps me keep boundaries and avoid getting attached to some of my fave guests. If I provided FS, I would have crushes on a million guys.

That said, I don't think it's cool to imply that you are ANY better than ANY girl..WHether she provides FS or massage, or is a CMT. Technically, it is worse in the eyes of your professional peers to be a CMT who dabbles in the sensual, than to be a prostitute who "doesn't know any better. " The therapeutic massage community sees you as a Benedict Arnold who makes it more likely to cause clinical massage therapists to be harrassed, and as someone who causes their profession to be joked about constantly.

It seems more honest to just say you're either an escort or a bodyrub artist. Maybe lose the massage term all together out of respect for the professionals who invest their time and money only to be harassed by every man who comes thru their office door. I mean, really, the difference between escort and "masseuse" is minor. You are pulling $$ from the same pool as everyone else. Don't take yourself so seriously.

You are NOT the only girl who offers true therapeutic massage knowledge combined with sensual know how. I know several, all of whom are talented, intelligent, beautiful, and sweet.

Again, I have no problem with the sex industry, obviously. I just have a problem with judging people/ self-superiority.

If you're really concerned with being a healing therapeutic influence, consider that humility comes with the territory.

i know i shouldn't even be responding to this any further or letting it get under my skin, but the more i think about it the more it CHAPS MY HIDE that there is still this neanderthal sexist mentality out there, even in the adult business.  if you want a mute blow up doll who is bendable in any position, there are PLENTY of those options out there, and you have more than enough self-promoting come-hither posts that don't tell you ANYTHING about them to distinguish them significantly from anyone else (unless you consider "cum see me" original) to choose from.  not that providers ARE all just pretty dolls without a thought in their heads, but those that aren't usually succumb to the pressure to at least PRETEND they are, because clients with attitudes similar to yours don't want anything any more involved than that.  great, have at it!  as if everything in society weren't already dumbed down enough...

"She sucks!  She f cks!  Only $299.95!  First 10 callers get a "second pop" at no additional charge!!!"  That's fantastic, but some people just want a little more in addition to that, present company notwithstanding.  some providers might be "well read", and I'm not being sarcastic, just skeptical--but another provider's intelligence might lie in the realm of thougtful, insightful discourse about why the world (and the adult business) is the way that it is.  if that sort of thing bores you or annoys you, by all means, turn off the PBS and get back over to AM radio, but don't tell me what ALL clients or providers are or are supposed to be like.  choosing to be in the adult business does NOT by definition mean that you have to lobotomize yourself or avoid honest expression at all costs.  after all, i'm not boring you with all this while we're in the middle of an APPOINTMENT that you're paying for, i'm printing it in the boards, where discussion is SUPPOSED to be welcomed.  and if you see that my posts are too lengthy or proselitizing for you and you're so used to sound bites and highlighted blips resembling "news" scrolling across the bottom of the TV screen to want to read the whole thing, MOVE ON to something less informative and more easy on the eyes--it is, after all, a free country.  and for a great many people, what i know about a variety of things is educational and helpful, even if you're not one of those people, so don't try to censor what they might enjoy reading because you don't care for it.

and it IS possible to be very considerate of your client's needs and wishes while not exploiting your own boundaries.  it IS possible to be non-rigid, generous, and sweet (AND relatively quiet without letting somebody bulldoze over your own comfort level.  it IS possible to "shut up and f ck", the problem comes in ONLY when CLIENTS continue to push and verbally cajole:  "Can't you do this and this, too", when you've already let them know, verbally, nonverbally, or through your ad, where the horizon lies.  it's actually far more relaxing and laid-back to just go with the flow of why you stopped by in the first place, on how great what you ARE doing feels, instead of what you might be doing if ONLY you can talk her into it...

the idea that on this board or any other you are entitled to and expected to ONLY be a sexy tart without anything relevant to say beyond "Hi, I'm new in town, and I love to party with my girlfriends" is ridiculous in a free country.  sure, you want that mentality when you're going to SEE a provider, but in the meantime, there is nothing wrong with saying something different in a printed forum.

i never meant to imply that i'm "self-service", so frustrated clients, no...

and yes, i KNOW that TER is the wrong place, that's why i keep BEGGING my clients not to review me here.  i only gave these guys my credit card number so i could read FOR MYSELF the reviews (four as good as you can get for massage, one disappointed because i wasn't FS--again, where's the surprise) that were posted, regardless of how many times i said "Don't review me".  i've asked them to delist me TWICE in the past THREE months (and yet the FAQ says that if a client sends in a review for a delisted provider it will be rejected???)  apparently their memory is far shorter than that.  so now i plan to stay on top of the situation, and make it my life's work to find out just how many other unauthorized references of me there are out there on the web and knock them down.  i just found a post that was flattering, but one in which the clients were talking about my profile on a PERSONAL site.  and speculating publicly that i used that profile to try to get business, and asking each other for directions to my profile.  i'm not that cavalier with my CLIENTS' personal info, or deadset on "outing" them, and here's the secret of why i have an ad on a personal site:  for the same reasons as everybody else who's looking for someone special and who doesn't like to waste their time in bars!!!  in other words, it's PERSONAL!  this review thing is REALLY intrusive, and if someone who doesn't value their privacy as much as money is comfortable with it, great!  me personally, i didn't sign up for all the extra headaches just because i posted an ad.  i thought what i was doing, in really enjoying my work and my clients' company was POSITIVE, and that i wouldn't have to endure a constant fallout of negative BS because of it.  here i am, actually doing things exactly the way i say i will, focused on honesty and accuracy and not "bait and switch"ing or grabbing any donation up front or upselling or promising something i can't deliver, thinking that the delicate caution and discretion that i apply to my clients' personal lives is going to get rewarded by a "Let's keep a secret" mentality all around, since after all, that's how I treat YOU guys, but no...

i know you get fewer clients without reviews, which suits me perfectly, and i used to be far far away from adult websites and be directly on the search engines myself until, finally a year or two ago, i let people talk me into trying it (i ran into some girls from a major site and we became friends).  it's my own fault, really, for listening to people tell me how a greater number of appointments is better than not having to worry about LE or indiscreet exposure or constant coercion and bargaining for more.  it was funny that after i finally went up on an adult site, i got swamped with appointments and people asking me, "If you've been around for 6 years, where are your reviews", as if you don't exist without them.  i miss those days...

oh, and regarding my ad or URL, i'm not even remotely difficult to find (and believe me, you'll recognize me when you see me, i'm the one who's formerly sweet as sugar, now getting rather visibly grumpy  i'm not trying to be evasive or secretive regarding it, but i just took down more stuff from this site that i feel impacts my appropriate demographic market as well as my right to privacy, so i don't want to move in reverse and start putting my contact info here in the boards again.

but i will say that if anyone wants to know anything about the adult biz, you couldn't ask a more seasoned pro than me, i'm pretty much a career girl.  so even though the reviews do not interest me at all, the idea that i could field Q&A's is kind of interesting.  i always wanted to have some service where i could do what i could to help out newbies.  when i was younger, btw, i was wild, and i know EXACTLY where the other women on the site are coming from.  it's just that now i know what i'm comfortable with, and my boundaries are FIRM as they can only be when you've seen the grass on the other side, and nobody can sell you on it anymore.  and as my career has evolved, i have found many things:  how to be comfortable with who i am and not care about what anybody else thinks, how to capitalize on my skills and what i like to do instead of going "straight" and doing something that bores me to tears, among many many other things.  

i just answered a question from someone yesterday who e-mailed me about massage parlors, which i know very well, as i worked in them before i went independent, and i know ALL the formats for all the different kinds of places and what they're up to (btw, a lot of times the therapist isn't to blame when she disappoints you, the house won't let her do otherwise).  i would NEVER suggest to a client that he go to a spa (unless it's a legitimate one like Urban Oasis).  the cameras and/or peepholes in the rooms (they may be hidden, but they're there) prevent the women working there from making their clients happy.  they don't have a choice.  i can pretty much tell you about everything from nice strip clubs to small podunk ones, strip-o-grams and bachelor parties, old school houses and new school highrises, dungeons, upscale american bodyrub places and assembly line "spas", lingerie modeling studios (or as they're more commonly known--you name it.  one would think, on paper, that having gleaned that many hours in the field i would look like "Flo" from Alice or something, but surprisingly, if you were to meet me on the street and not know any better, you would think I was young (or, on average, 10 years younger, even though i make no claim to that) and fresh and innocent.  Part of the reason for that is that I do my job and then leave it behind.  I don't party or hang out with people I work with or use the lifestyle as an avenue in which to get more and more crazy (and I wouldn't mind hanging out with people I worked with, but in the past it has been apparent that they were into partying, where I was into museums and such, and it just doesn't work--I've been on the lookout for years for adult entertainers who prefer whole foods and museums to nightclubs--if you're out there, don't get offended, get in TOUCH with me, it would be nice to meet like-minded providers).  

Additional disclaimer:  I'm sure not EVERY provider is into partying, but since I don't party at all, even if you go to a club once every couple of weeks, you've got me beat.  I don't drink AT ALL, so if you have a glass of wine with dinner, again, you're way ahead of me.  I don't not drink because I'm uptight or recovering, I have entirely different reasons for it, and it's unfortunately no longer an option for me.  I don't want to trigger another round of "You're so superior" posts, because that's not what I'm saying.  Partying, LOVED it, at the time in my life when I was into it and could not do major damage to myself doing it.  For people who are into it, have fun!  I just have to live a different way, if i DON'T want to look like some haggard old truck stop waitress, and you know the toll that this business takes on providers who are in it LONG term (i'm not talking about a couple of years).  

i just want to see a few people who know me really well, limit my risks involved with new clients, be able to have my own life without feeling that every time i go to a museum or a movie someone is going to call when i'm in the car on the way and pressure me to turn around and go back home to work on them because they couldn't give me adequate notice to plan that instead to begin with...  SHORT-term dealing with all those things is fine, but when your business model is, as mine is, to just simply work rationally and reasonably, rather than to excess so i can swim in piles of cash, it wears you down after about...  oh...  say...  8 years, or so.  think about it.  every personal activity you have is interrupted by a phone call demanding your immediate attention...  every client you work on is pushing for more...  everybody you work on thinks that ONE small portion of what you so enthusiastically do is the whole enchilada...  people speculate openly about your personal business...  again, if i were expecting gobs of moolah and wanting to draw everybody in with my sultry wiles and mislead them to get what i could, i could not whine about anything, but i just want people to take me at face value so i can do my job and have a life.  i mean, after all, when i'm working on you for ONE hour in a full day, the remaining 23 should be completely free from scrutiny, they should be wholly my own.

in a word, my clients are never left feeling "blue"