Years ago, when I was a rookie hobbyist before I joined p411. I saw a provider and used my work information to pass her verification requirement. I wrote a "less than perfect review" (apparently not a 9 or 10 in other words) and she called me at work, BSC and threatened to come to my office and loudly announce to everyone that I was seeing prostitutes if I didn't take the review down. Luckily, TER responded to my request and removed it the same day. I don't know if TER would still do that, but they did react to my explanation that day.
I agree that this probably doesn't happen often, but as a result I have learned not to give out my real ID. And remember that through the power of the internet, anyone can find out everything about you just from your real name; address, family, employer, everything, and totally screw up your life.
What are the risks of independent or providers that know your identity? What can they feasibly do to you?
They seldom come to anything.
If you call their bluff, they usually fade away.
They face very severe penalties if they are caught
Outting or such can really F up your life. So it is wise to keep your hobby life sepate from your daily identity.
Any feasible hypothetical situations for example?
-- Modified on 12/18/2015 9:27:56 PM
In P4P it's usually the truth most people are trying to hide.
Let's say you see a highly reviewed provider, all 9's and 10's, solidly in the top ten of her city, but you and her "don't click" and you give her a 7/7 review. There have been cases of women like that going completely BSC, harassing and threatening to "out" the reviewer, calling his boss, calling his wife, letting them all know that the reviewer patronizes prostitutes and essentially ruining his life over a lackluster review.
Yes, these things can and do happen. Are they likely? No, but that's no solace to those that it happens to.
Now some people, myself included, don't give a fuck if we are "outed" which makes us essentially blackmail proof, but we are the exceptions, not the rule.
the statements made about you are untrue.
But as was noted, blackmail is a possibility, if rare. That's why it's best to limit exposure of your real identity as much as possible, keeping in mind that may limit your options of providers since some require real identities for screening.
I've given my real identity to only two providers, because we have friendships that extend into our real lives. And I know their real identities, and that they have as much to lose if they were exposed as I do. As I told one of them once: "We'll always be friends; we know too much."
Feasible and possible are pretty much synonymous, so that being said, ANYTHING is possible.
But what you have to consider is the likelihood, or probability, of a provider or agency doing something nefarious with your identity.
I'd guess that the probability is pretty low, but it is still POSSIBLE. Keep in mind that even if you don't give out your real name, those who really want to hurt you will find a way. Trust me, as I speak from experience on that one.
Of the bad things that happen, from what I've heard: the BSC providers who somehow feel you've earned their wrath or have become attached to you, and then reach out to you via your real identity either at work or home, are more likely situations than the blackmailers.
But that's just based upon what I personally have heard through the grapevine. This may or may not be true or accurate information.
Naturally, being on the provider end of things, I've heard of far more client-stalker situations than the reverse.
If you have a lot to lose (not everyone does!) by being outed as someone who engages the services of sex-workers, then going the anonymous route would be your safest/wisest option.
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Thanks for the replies, I wanted to see if anybody could speak of personal experience that devastated their reputation. I did have a bad experience with a provider and she threatened to post my identity on the Internet, which is very bothersome. School of hard knocks is always open for enrollment.
Years ago, when I was a rookie hobbyist before I joined p411. I saw a provider and used my work information to pass her verification requirement. I wrote a "less than perfect review" (apparently not a 9 or 10 in other words) and she called me at work, BSC and threatened to come to my office and loudly announce to everyone that I was seeing prostitutes if I didn't take the review down. Luckily, TER responded to my request and removed it the same day. I don't know if TER would still do that, but they did react to my explanation that day.
I agree that this probably doesn't happen often, but as a result I have learned not to give out my real ID. And remember that through the power of the internet, anyone can find out everything about you just from your real name; address, family, employer, everything, and totally screw up your life.
That sounds awful, but all I gave out was my name, address, and phone number. No work info or ID cards. I do use search engines once in a while to see if my name pulls anything up.
If I were ever outed it would be embarrassing, but life would continue.
I have a fairly generic first name and last name and it wasn't until the 4th full page of Google or the third full page of Google images that I show up. If anything happens I'm blaming it on the other 10000 guys that share my name. However, my burner cell and exclusive hobbying email address should help prevent any issues.
I doubt if a provider is going to show up at your place of employment, and if she does deny knowing her.
Although I guess it does occasionally happen, can't imagine a well-established lady causing drama, as it can have a seriously negative impact on her business.
What I have seen repeatedly, but not experienced by me, is when a guy does some inexcusable thing, and thinks he can get away with it, namely:
*disrespecting boundaries: rape; showing up to an incall unannounced then claiming the lady was a NCNS when declined, declaring his undying love, or some other really creepy thing
*shorting the envelope (this is the biggie)
Many have shorted the envelope, then when she insisted on proper payment, wrote a bad review "to show her her place."
Just use reputable ladies, be a reputable gentleman, and you shouldn't have anything to worry about
I think if you are a hobbyist and you look at each provider as a professional client she really will have no real reason to "blackmail" you. Do not be a jerk and leave what you are supposed to in the envelope. In this game, "nice guys finish first". The provider is extremely happy to meet nice, professional guys who do not play games with money.
Remember, if she ruins your marriage she might be accidentally giving you the ultimate "freedom". Now you have more time to see other providers who are not her. It is better for her that your encounters remain secret. The tension of confidentiality is what actually allows her to make a good living. If hobbyist did not have the tension of getting caught, the prices would go down considerably.
Good behavior + the envelope =the provider looking at you as a favorite source of income. (Why would she ruin that?)