Gotta do 3 things...

A traveling salesman walks into a bar and orders a shot and a beer and notices a huge jar of $10 bills behind the counter... So he asks the bartender "is that your tip jar?" "Oh no" says the bartender "we have a little competition here that costs $10 to enter. You have to do 3 things and if you can do all 3 things you win the whole jar of money!"  
"Well, what do you have to do?" asks the visiting salesman...
"Well, we bottle our own hot sauce here" (as he shows him a small bottle of the hot sauce). "You have to chug the whole bottle!"
"Ok, what else" he inquires...
"Secondly, we have a bar dog out back... A pit bull with an infected tooth. You have to pull it!"  
"Oh my god, that's crazy" says the salesman. "What's the last thing"
"Well, grandma lives upstairs and she hasn't been with a man in a looong time. You have to please her."  
"Well, holy sh*t that's crazy! I'm not doing that!" And he proceeds to order more shots and more beer. Well, as midnight approaches the salesman is wasted and staggers over to the bar and slams a $10 bill on the bar and tells the bartender to give him a bottle of that hot sauce. He proceeds to chug that whole damn thing down and slams the empty bottle on the bar... He's SO wasted he doesn't even notice how hot it is... Then he looks at the bartender as if to ask 'where to go next'? Well, the bartender points to the back door and says, "he's right out back in the alley."  
So this guy barely makes it thru the door and for the next 10-15 minutes all everyone hears is yelping, crashing, garbage cans flipping over and quite the racket. All of a sudden the back door flies open and the guy comes back in, clothes all ripped up and he's all scratched up and bloody and he says, "ok, where's the old lady with the sore tooth?"  

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