You originally wrote
so she had plenty of time to figure out travel time from anywhere she wanted. AND SHE SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU WITH AMPLE NOTICE if it was too far for her.
Not 100% sure this goes here but figured the best place to ask it.....
So I recently was suppose to meet up with a provider. I made the appointment about 3 weeks in advance and after initial screening was setup I went to book a room for us to spend our time together. The first hotel I wanted to use was not to her liking ( 2 star ) and she said she would feel more comfortable at a 3 star or above. Really no big deal on my end and found one and let her know the hotel ( at this point was still about 2 weeks out ). I touched base with her the day before it would of been the last day for me to cancel the room and was told we where for sure good to go. On the day of the appointment she asked for the name of the hotel again and proceeded to tell me that the hotel was not 2 hours away but 2 1/2 hours away ( which it really is not ) and she was on a strict schedule and could not do the appointment leaving me stuck with a hotel room and no provider. My question, is this sort of thing a common thing in this hobby or was this just poor business on her part? Some things to keep in mind....
1) it was a 2hour first time we would be meeting appointment ( the minimum time she allowed for the distance )
2) it was raining that day, not bad but was raining
3) she seemed kind of absent minded the whole time we where emailing ( asking the hotel name 2 times , asking appointment date 2 times )
4) she is a very well reviewed provider here
My advice if you are having a lady come in from that far away is unless you live in an area where the hotels book up quickly is to not commit to the room until you know she is on her way.
Many providers ask for deposits when traveling that far so as not to make a four hour round trip only to find the guy has flaked out on her. I would suggest you take a page out of their book and be absolutely sure she is coming before shelling out any money on a room that you rent just for the occasion.
BTW, Her excuse sounds like bullshit to me. I don't care how many reviews she has.
- 2 hours with you, but 4-5 hours travel time
- 1 or 2 hours with someone else, at her incall or at a much closer outcall
You should also be aware that paying a deposit will not guarantee that she won't make the same decision and leave you stranded. It just means that you have the added problem of trying to get your deposit back
On one hand, she's never met you before. So I could understand her trepidation. However, if she were that nervous about it, she shouldn't have agreed to the date in the first place. There are plenty of providers who require the John makes an initial deposit in order to secure the reservation. Here we have a situation where you shelled out "x" amount of dough for a room and she's a no-show. If the proverbial shoe were on the other foot, she would be livid. But at least she would have had her deposit to fall back on, so it wouldn't be a total loss. You're left with an empty wallet and nobody to sit on your cock.
If everything you say is indeed true, than that's inexcusable. She approved it the day prior, but had second thoughts about it come show time. That's just fucked up.
Thanks for the input guys .... I will take that advice on waiting last minute to book a place. Yes I did assume either something better came up for her or she just figured it was not worth it and made a bullshit reason not to come.
...she confirmed and said you were good to go and then bailed with that BS excuse, I'd strongly consider calling her out on your local board if you have not done so already (since you can't review her). She had plenty of time to reconsider and cancel if needed.
Providers would black list you in a New York minute for pulling that shit and you'd have no visibility or recourse from them doing it either.
I think a few things can happen here by politely and honestly calling her out, all with appropriate justice to the community.
1) You let other hobbyists know about her recent behavior so they can at least make an informed risk assessment. Also, it really doesn't hurt her review scores since there's no formal review. If it's truly an isolated incident, a single "ding" in a forum won't hurt her much more than it impacted your wallet. Good info for the local guys and a generally equitable outcome.
If she keeps up this practice and guys keep calling her on it, it will quickly have a more profound impact. This would also give other local providers who are good businesswomen an advantage by culling the herd.
2) She uses the forum to provide a response and her side of the story if she so chooses (something we don't get with a blacklist). She can apologize, tell her side of the story, etc., and she may even choose to "publicly" make things right with you.
Either way, I feel this type of situation needs to be brought into the community light
I did go back and fourth with her about it today in private emails overall in her opinion just coming to the conclusion I was wrong about the time even after showing her the exact time and miles it was from the hotel to her city ( it was 2hours and 1min) , apparently that is not the same time from her " house " which I am somehow suppose to know. The other thing was it being my fault for not booking a hotel that would allow same day cancellation , I have not booked a lot of hotels but it seems most 3 star and up do not allow this at least in my city. It ended with her hinting at the idea of her blacklisting me for "talking shit about her intelligence " but being the bigger person and just ending the conversation. She did say she was very sorry for what I lost but sadly that does not = a refund for the hotel.
As much as I agree with you and that is the way it should be done so far I have just got the impression that doing something like this would only backfire in my face and make me look like the one in the wrong in other providers eyes. I have not been around here that long and it would seem for me to post something like that even thou would help the other clients out would hurt me as far as dealing with providers going forward....don't you think?
You originally wrote
so she had plenty of time to figure out travel time from anywhere she wanted. AND SHE SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU WITH AMPLE NOTICE if it was too far for her.
If there's a "bad experience" thread on your local board, you can mention this thread (copy the link of your OP into the box at the bottom of the posting form) without going into any details and just tell your local yokels to PM you for more info.
The facts (as you present them) are clear. 1. You made a confirmed appointment way in advance. 2. She cancelled on the same day. 3. Regardless of any excuse or reason, that sucks.
Others should be able to decide if they want to put themselves in a similar position
Great info given to you in this thread.
I would like to caution you however, if you go "public" and try to out her on a board here...it could go south for you.
Depending on how popular/well known this provider is, how you present the info, and whether she can accurately counter you. On the surface it seems you were completely wronged
I would say that it is better to move on. There are so many providers and at the end of the day the drama is never worth it. Sometimes the now shows are painful but happen for a reason. You never know, it could be someone that you know and maybe she figured out you and her were somehow in the same circles. The providers have their own behind the scenes boards where they can definitely find out more about you than you think...
Early in my hobbying career I had a few no shows and a suspected "bait and switch". I waited to much later in my career to discretely report to the "powers that be" on this forum so that others can be protected. Do not make an issue of this right now.
The fact that someone is a well reviewed provider to me means nothing. The horror stories I've had heard from "Top notch" or whatever you want to call these elite beauties are endless. I can say everyone has bad days but when you are making me spend money and time and you are a diva at that, I don't think so I would make an example and leave her a review you can't be detailed obviously but it's a waste of time and money on your end or.....
It could be that she's supposedly an indie but works with an agency which would explain her being absent minded and perhaps her just saying "f*ck it, its not worth it my time" if the agency didn't notify her in time
The fact that someone is a well reviewed provider doesn't do it for me (if I were searching for a provider that is)
I learned that the hard way when I decided to see one of TER's top 50 reviewers and they tired to force me to do things I clearly stated I did not want to do and even after this did it ANYWAYs. I don't trust titles. Go with your gut and talk to others that have seen her before. Also make an example....
did she ever apologize?
did she say she'd make it up to you?
If not make an example. No one should waste someone's time and money.
My conclusion on the situation was this ..... giving her best case was she did not bother to check the distance from her house to the hotel before saying we where for sure good to go and just assumed it was going to be ok. Worst case she didn't care or want to even bother putting any effort into what would of been just a 2 hour appointment for her. Either way it was wrong on her end and very bad way to run a business. Her original apology didn't seem really sincere at all and no to the make it up to me , it is hard to tell a persons tone in writing but it really just left a impression of she did not give a sh*t .
I have decided not to pursue it for now and might post something about it on my local board at the end of the month. She is actually in the middle of doing a charity type thing of sorts right now with her clients. Not saying my word or the outcome if I do post something will have a strong effect on that but I would not want to chance it would. At the least I will probably for sure be posting something on another site that has a section that deals just with my city.
As much as I did probably want to vent some ( cant really vent about this hobby anywhere else lol ) some of the actually ideas/knowledge you all have shared has been helpful in helping me make sure I don't get screwed over again and thank you for that!