A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women, one from England, one from Scotland, and the third from Ireland were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The English woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'
The man said 'No' so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The Scottish woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'
The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The Irish woman came to him and said, 'ave ya ever been fucked lad?'
The man broke into a big smile and said, 'no'.
She said, 'Aye - Ya will be when the tide comes in'.