Newbie - FAQ

Never been asked
camote16 34 Reviews 782 reads
posted

I've never even been asked to prove the name I'm using is really my name. I've never been with a lady I wanted to see want my full name.  Seems like when we do meet she doesn't even care. Just that I'm safe to see. Good luck. Find a newbie friendly provider 1st and build a good rep.

The advice given to newbies on this board is to not give out your real full name and to only see well reviewed providers. But after looking at dozens of well reviewed provider websites I've noticed that all of them, without exception, ask for the real first and last name of any hobbyist who wishes to see them, even if the hobbyist is a member of P411 or Date-Check. It seems like it's impossible to see a well reviewed provider without giving her your real full name.

1. Keep looking.  There are well-reviewed providers in many areas who WILL accept aliases.  They may not be your 1st, 2nd, or even 12th choice... but they're out there.

2. Post an "in search of" on your local board; be honest about your newbie-ness and desire for anonymity.  Then see if you get any takers.  

Think for yourself and decide what is more important to you:  seeing the hotties you want right off the bat, or anonymity.  
If you prefer anonymity (like many) then just email the providers you DO want and ask them if they'll make an exception.  Some really do make exceptions; probably not very often for a total newbie but hey.... it could happen.  You never know unless you ask.  :-)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

I've never even been asked to prove the name I'm using is really my name. I've never been with a lady I wanted to see want my full name.  Seems like when we do meet she doesn't even care. Just that I'm safe to see. Good luck. Find a newbie friendly provider 1st and build a good rep.

We all pretty much know life is all about risk and risk mitigation.

While you are right that the general advice to newbies is to not give your real name and there are members here who will absolutely protect their name at all costs and vehemently insist you do the same, there are plenty who give theirs out.

Protecting your name 100% while gaining a god rep can be complex and time consuming.  It may also come at a higher cost to you depending on how you play it.

I suggest considering a strategic approach.  Any time you give someone in this arena your name, you are taking a risk. I don't dispute that.  You're also taking risks by seeing these girls, getting BBBJ's etc.  By strategically giving your name to the right provider, I believe you can speed up the reference/whitelist process, get access to higher-end providers more quickly and ultimately see better girls and save some $$$ along the way.

A strategic approach is to give out your name, hopefully only once, and MAKE IT COUNT.  Find a top notch, well reviewed and highly respected provider you'd like to see.  She should be in the top 10 providers list for your area. Do your homework, see if you can find one who offers an easy reference and maybe who would whitelist you if things went well.  Give this one provider your real name and get properly screened.  See her, be a good gent and give her a respectable review (she will deserve it, that's why she's a top 10 provider).  Now, you can use her as a reference for your next provider and you will no longer have to give out your name.  Also, you will be a TER member who has reviewed a Top 10 provider, which is a small, but good sign to other providers.  See a couple more girls, get a couple more references and a whitelist or two and you are off to the races having only given out your name one time to a single low risk girl.

It's not foolproof, but I believe the quicker rewards are worth the small incremental risk.

This is what I did. There is one top notch Boston provider who knows my name as part of initial screening. Yes, that's a risk, but selecting a top notch lady lowers your risk. Plus, we hit it off well and I repeat regularly with her. It has worked very well exactly as Negoti8tor has described. Her reference is worth a lot more than others. I've not had a need for P411 or other screening services.

One caveat: make sure the top notch provider has a long history here. We've seen a new provider in Boston rocket to the top of the review listings in a couple months only to go BSC 3 months down the road. Several years of history tells you that she's just as interested in discretion as you are

....you often can get verified without giving a full name if you have solid references. Most of the ladies that I have visited requested all sorts of detailed info on their website (full name, employer name & phone number, etc). I have offered up only my references and it hasn't been an issue. I am inclined to think that the requests for a full name and/or employer info might be for newbies or those without good references.

you can generally stay UTR.

A lady has the right to ask for whatever information she deems necessary to stay safe.  

In addition, any time a lady wants more information than you are willing to give, simply move on

Alan_Nimm659 reads

It's to protect themselves. If they feel safe without that info, they'll welcome you. For example, I recently asked to see a very highly rated provider who "requires" full name, employer contact info etc. I did not provide that info, but completed the rest of her contact form and gave her references for two providers who I know she knows very well. And I said to let me know if she needed anything else. I also have a slew of p411 ok's from well-reviewed providers in her town. She quickly confirmed the appointment.

-- Modified on 9/13/2015 2:56:22 PM

...real name etc. once (as a previous poster said). See newbie friendly providers as indicated on their P411 profile. There are many that will accept P411 membership without more information. If they want more and some P411 newbie friendly providers do your still good if you did your research and chose a well reviewed, reputable, well respected P411 provider.  

While you are correct about being advised not to give your full name the advice I gave about P411 is given just as often if not more so.

Hi.  If I'm sending introductory email I will use my real first name.  If this email leads to a date she has sometimes greeted me with my name . A couple of times I've had a provider ask me at the end of the date " what was your name again?"  (I'm hoping they ask that because it was memorable lol).

I recently saw a provider and for screening she told me that my P411 along with TER were good enough for her. (The date ended up being absolutely out of this world fantabulous!)

D.

By what percentage, I'm not sure, but yeah, refusing to divulge a real name (or whatever the case may be) is going to be a deal-breaker for some chicks, myself included (the reasoning for that is a whole other spiel that I won't get into now). It's up to you whether you want to comply or move on.  

That said, there most certainly are well-reviewed ladies who will accept a verification site membership as sole screening info. I'm not sure about other ladies who will take less screening if asked, but personally that type of request serves no purpose other than to waste my time and therefore I just find it irritating. Just my two cents.  

As someone else mentioned, ultimately you have to make the determination re: risk vs reward. That part is up to you.  

Posted By: ManAboutTown72
The advice given to newbies on this board is to not give out your real full name and to only see well reviewed providers. But after looking at dozens of well reviewed provider websites I've noticed that all of them, without exception, ask for the real first and last name of any hobbyist who wishes to see them, even if the hobbyist is a member of P411 or Date-Check. It seems like it's impossible to see a well reviewed provider without giving her your real full name.

Giving me your full name, amongst other information, makes screening on my side a breeze. It's quick, easy, and I can literally do it under 30 minutes. Session booked. No problem.  

If you want to use references, that's fine.  P411 and Date-Check are, in my opinion, a place for a hobbyist to keep all his references.  Since I don't have access to your actual information on those sites, I check your last 3 references.  Most ladies need 24 hours to respond.  RS2K however, gives me your full name as well as other pertinent information, and does so in under 10 minutes.  In fact, you have to give me information matching the RS2K information in order to be confirmed a member. I can also, in the case of RS2K, run my own screening (side note: RS2K is popular in Chicago and Wisconsin, but not too much anywhere else).  

If i were a newb in the hobby game, Id expect to have to give out my full name on a few occasions; at the very least until I see a provider who's well-liked amongst other providers anyway.  Shit, my best friend won't take a reference from me without a full name attached to it, so even that's not bullet-proof.  

It really just comes down to this: different providers have different screening requirements. If you don't like a provider's requirements, then move along.  I would keep in mind, though, that lots of providers are only newbie-friendly if you're willing to give more info like your full name and employment.  

Good luck!

Posted By: ManAboutTown72
The advice given to newbies on this board is to not give out your real full name and to only see well reviewed providers. But after looking at dozens of well reviewed provider websites I've noticed that all of them, without exception, ask for the real first and last name of any hobbyist who wishes to see them, even if the hobbyist is a member of P411 or Date-Check. It seems like it's impossible to see a well reviewed provider without giving her your real full name.
The advice you get here will be self serving on the part of the ladies. Even if a lady is pure at heart, there are often assistants and others that will have your name. E Mail gets hacked. Computers and cell phones get stolen about every 10 seconds. I don't know where the hell you found the dozens of ladies who require real info but I could find 100's of ladies including high end ones who don't require that.

Simply join P411. You have to give info but only once to a place that is in Canada. See newbie friendly providers at first. Then some will say P411 + 2. This means you will have to have seen a couple of girls before seeing them. P411 has plenty of high end girls.  

I have been doing this eight years and have never given personal info.

GaGambler632 reads

The rest of your advice is spot on, P 411 makes screening a breeze, and despite what many of the women will claim publicly, I doubt more than 2-3% are actually demanding anything more than can be found on your P 411 profile. In my case I've probably seen a hundred women from P 411 since being asked for more info.

The thing is, if you don't feel comfortable giving out your real info it must mean that your life could be impacted negatively if that info ever were to get out, if that is the case, DON'T DO IT. an hours worth of fun is not worth ruining your life, simply move onto a lady who doesn't demand such information before seeing you. There are plenty of them out there.

you know nothing about and who could if necessary flip for the LE and then change their name and continue in business;

or

Giving info to P411, which has a huge profit motive to try to keep info secure and is also a huge juicy target for hackers?

Answer:  Beats me.

Register Now!