Thanks for your feedback..
Ended up going with a 2 hour date, since I intend to start real slow & want to take my time. I also realize that a major mistake can be in "overthinking" any new situation & will try my best to"go with the flow" and follow her lead. As far as the alcohol goes, did my homework on what she likes & got it covered. I am not much of a drinker per se, but am sure will be able to enjoy a glass of fine wine with my date while having some initial conversation to "break the ice.
I realize that this thread has probably been posted numerous times over the years (so apologies in advance)... but this case is different, it's me (Yikes!)
I have done my homework for several months now, as well as upgrading to a VIP membership (not to mention taking in all the wise advice from several experienced hobbyists), and have finally decided on a very, very highly-rated provider.
The date has been set & there's not turning back now.
My question to fellow "newbies" (and vets alike-as you were all new at one time or another to the hobby) is this:
How did you handle your "jitters" (if any) for your 1st hobby experience?
To add pressure to my situation, it's been a long, long time since I've been with a woman so absolutely petrified of "performance anxiety", although am fairly certain that this wonderful lady will do her absolute best to make me feel at ease--a major reason why I chose her!
Any additional feedback/advice from the ladies on how they would deal/have dealt with newbies effectively would be most welcome as well.....Thanks
If you can, extend your session time if you only booked an hour or 90 minutes. Many enjoy the pre festivities chat and that also allows you to get to know her, relax a little, and make your move when you are ready.
Alcohol can help some, hurt others. A glass of wine or champagne is a great ice breaker and help you lossen up and relax. Just don't over do it, as too much can interfere with your...your...well, you know. LOL
Just make sure the girl drinks and get something she, and you will enjoy. Run the alcohol thing by her to get her take before hand and some don't want the bottle opened before they arrive.
And remember this. No matter how the first time goes, it will get easier and easier in the future as you will know what to expect.
Enjoy and report back here if you wish.
Thanks for your feedback..
Ended up going with a 2 hour date, since I intend to start real slow & want to take my time.
I also realize that a major mistake can be in "overthinking" any new situation & will try my best to
"go with the flow" and follow her lead.
As far as the alcohol goes, did my homework on what she likes & got it covered. I am not much of a drinker per se, but am sure will be able to enjoy a glass of fine wine with my date while having some initial conversation to "break the ice.
To add pressure to my situation, it's been a long, long time since I've been with a woman so absolutely petrified of "performance anxiety"
Make sure you dress well. Since you've been out of circulation for a while, you probably need to upgrade your wardrobe. Consider buying a new suit. Good luck. --z
Hey Zangari, thanks for your feedback
I did go with 2 hours...you guys are right in the "extra time" I will need, if nothing more than insurance so the pressure won't hopefully be as great.
As far as the a fresh wardrobe goes, I plan on dressing like I did for my most recent interview (a few months back...got the job, by the way) so maybe there's luck in those snazzy new "threads." LOL
...and last. but certainly not least, Hygiene will be my number one priority on the "big day!
Understand your situation. Jitters is something you will always deal with. I have them every time I see a new provider. Just relax, and enjoy. You will be happy.
LLAP,.
Swim
How did you handle your "jitters" (if any) for your 1st hobby experience?
You sound like the kind of guy who has already alerted your date to your jitters, either explicitly or by your emails or conversations. I assume that the highly rated provider you've chosen is probably familiar with jittery guys and you should trust her to deal with your jitters and get you over the hump, too.
I recommend that you NOT try to calm your nerves with alcohol. The wine may be OK but the hard stuff will impair your judgement and the odor of booze could make your date herself jittery and nervous.
Have a great time and let us know how it goes
...in email conversations with my "date-to-be", made it clear from the start that I was a newbie...I also realize that not every provider out there is "newbie friendly" and wanted to be honest about it up front....so if this would have been a "deal breaker" for her, I would have just said "thank you" and moved on.
As far as the booze goes, a glass of wine will be plenty for me....not really a drinker anyway.
Thanks for your well wishes and good advice
I doubt that she will spend 1.95 hours of your 2.0 hours holding your hand and then saying "Time's up!" She'll steer you to the other stuff with the proper feedback. However, the first five minutes might seem like forever to you. As others have said, don't worry about the whole alphabet and don't bring a shopping list.
If someone shows up and is abnormally nervous for no APPARENT reason, the hostess might herself become suspicious and nervous and if the session isn't terminated, it might not go well. If she knows you're a jittery newbie, she'll know the reason and act accordingly (we hope)
Thanks for your feedback!
I may sound like a nervous wreck; but with all that is/will be going on with my life in the next few weeks (good things, just very hectic)....probably won't give this much thought again until at least a few days beforehand.
At the risk of boring everyone with a non-related, previous life experience....
A few years back in my college days (alright, more than a few...) I was gearing up for a major exam; pretty sure it was for Calculus III (not into sadism/masochism mind you, was a math major--same thing, I guess LOL) and was SO ready to ace it....had not missed a lecture, took good notes & knew material "Cold"....there was no possible way I could screw this up, right?.....right?
Wrong! My "fight or flight" response kicked in & I flew through the test, scanned over my work and turned it in thinking that I just scored the easiest "A" in my academic history.
Come to find out a few days later that my errors involved the "small details," such as multiple algebraic missteps, totally preventable if I had only taken time to "breathe" and go a bit slower. It made the difference between an "80," and that elusive "100" that I so dearly coveted.
As bitter as that pill was to swallow, it taught me a very valuable lesson and always seemed to do fine/great in my future exams....
Totally unrelated topics to be sure, but lesson learned back then can be beneficial to me now...
I definitely will be nervous, but will be aware of it and try to enjoy the ride...but not try too hard!
Thanks for listening,,,,
...and as a very wise man once said:
“Of all things, good sense is the most fairly distributed: everyone thinks he is so well supplied with it that even those who are the hardest to satisfy in every other respect never desire more of it than they already have.”
Rene Descartes
from Discours de la Méthode
...a lady I've never seen before and sometimes I'm nervous at the beginning with a lady I've seen often. It's part of that anticipation and excitement. If I didn't feel that I'd think I needed to stop doing this.
My first experience was with a well reviewed and respected lady. She is still in the business.
All I did was forget to place the donation down on the dresser/nightstand/somewhere visible. Showed her my ID when she said something about my having something for her (I later realized she was probably talking about the donation.) I guess she figured my newness was showing and let it slide. Then once the activities began during 69 I was barely hard, the BBBJ was so good, and it had been so long I came in her mouth with no warning. Can you say gone in 60 seconds? It's a good thing she was OK with CIM. (I knew she was but still I try to give some warning.) We spent the rest of the time talking and enjoying (I did anyway) touching all the fun parts.
I did give her the donation (put it on the dresser) after I showered and dressed to go. It was an Oh shit! moment when I realized it was still in my pocket. I've seen her several more times since then. BTW: I did review her but she isn't my first review.
Have a good laugh at that and don't let the nerves get the best of you
Things I wish I'd told myself 2 months ago before my first time:
Forget about all the acronyms you want to go through during your session.
In fact throw out the entire script.
Expecting too much of her or yourself is likely to lead to frustration and disappointment.
Only things you can really plan are to be on time, clean, dressed appropriately, have the correct donation ready and place the envelope as directed.
For the price of admission, you get her time and companionship - everything else is YMMV and depends on your interactions with another human being (...not trying to start a debate with this one - just something that helps me personally to get my attitude right!)
My first two sessions were awkward to say the least. Third time was a charm for me, and I will repeat with her in a few days.
(Take anything of value and forget the rest.)
Have fun
...woman. Even if you ease into it, you may find you've finished before the first hour is up. You should know that you can take a break and try for another pop in the second hour.
Alternatively, you can jerk off before the appointment to ensure you'll last.
I still get nervous seeing a new provider for the first time. It gets better when you repeat with them, but I like the anticipation and butterflies that go with seeing a new lady. If you've done your research, you'll more likely have a great time and at least not run into things that are unexpected.
1.5 hrs is the sweet spot for me on date times. I used to do 2+hr dates, but at least for a newbie seeing a provider for the first time, 90 minutes allows for some get to know time to ease into it and still have lots of time for a few rolls in the sheet. After you've established yourself with a lady that you want to repeat with, then the 2+ hour dates become more productive as you can expand your horizons with them a bit as you get to know what each other likes and doesn't.
Let us know how it goes, we're cheering for you.
Feedback & encouragement much appreciated!
...Didn't realize that I had my own "cheering section" LOL
There's a lot of things going on before and during the 1st appointment so I think it's natural to be nervous. I don't think you can completely avoid it. Since you are meeting someone who is experienced, I am sure she understands and will help you to deal with it. As long as you don't expect too much out of your 1st appointment, I am sure you will enjoy it. All your work is done before you meet her, as it should be. Just try your best to relax and let her help you to enjoy the experience.