Newbie - FAQ

"What to say..." advice for a newby?
johnelliot 2040 reads
posted

Hi, I'm taking a new interest in this hobby. I've been into fetishes in the past and have experience with women, but as for escorts in general I have no experience.  

Some escorts allow texting but I haven't received responses, I'm guessing they prefer a voice. I haven't gathered the courage due to my inexperience, I'm not really sure what is appropriate to say, or how brief I should be, and how much I should tell her about myself before requesting a meet time and address.  

Winging it, I might say something like "hi, I"m so-and-so, found your ad. You look great I'd love to meet you if you have time around say 10:30 pm tonight?"  

Would something that brief and simple be appropriate? I mean, I have common sense, I'm not going to say anything crude or sexually explicit over the phone. And note that I"m not necessarily asking for any legal advice, just some "what do I say to the gals" advice.

"Hi, my name is Allen Alias. I was hoping to have someone clean my ashes and I liked your ad. Might you have time on Tuesday at maybe Cock O'Clock? Please feel free to call or text me at 609-696-9696 or shoot me an email at [email protected]"

1. Since you're a newbie you should see providers with many reviews whose reviewers have many reviews to their credit. This gives you some assurance they are legitimate. You don't want to be a newbie seeing a newbie provider or worse a scam artist, bait & switch provider, or someone out to rob you or rip you off in some way.  
2. Some providers are OK with text and or a phone call while many prefer e-mail only until the actual day of the appointment. However you contact them you should have read their website or ad and know what method they prefer and what information they want in order to screen you as a client. You don't want to see a provider that doesn't screen you. She will want references from other reputable providers or other information about you in order to know you won't rob, harm, or rip her off.
 
I recommend you check into www.preferred411.com. They can verify you and providers that are members of P411 will see you once P411 has verified you and you are a member. Some providers look for extra info beyond your P411 membership. It's up to you to decide if you want to give that info. Look on P411 for Newbie friendly providers.

3. Your phone introduction above is OK. I personally prefer e-mail but whatever you use give your name, a day and time and length of appointment. Mentioning where you found out about her is good. (TER, Her website, an ad). Let her know if/when it's ok to call you back, text you, or e-mail. Like you said don't mention anything about money for sex, or anything explicit.

If you want same day appointments that's going to be hard to do because of screening. You don't want to see a provider that doesn't screen. Law Enforcement doesn't screen they want you to come on over so they can catch you. Rip offs don't screen as well as bait & switch for obvious reasons.

4. Best thing for you to do is join TER which you have and pay for the VIP membership so you can search for providers here on your TER regional ad board. Check out their profiles and read all the general and intimate details of their reviews in order to see if they provide what you are looking for. The $30 a month for TER VIP is cheap when you consider you will spend from $200 to $400 or more on an hour session.  

Read the Self-Help Center. It has even more info you can use and some is specific to the question you asked here. Just click the link below.

Feel free to ask questions here. I said a lot but there is a lot more I didn't say. It's mostly in the Self-Help Center and on this board where experienced mongers answer questions posed by newbies.

-- Modified on 8/2/2015 10:42:11 PM

johnelliot886 reads

Thanks for your detailed response! Very informative!  

I'm already VIP; basically I've been reading reviews and also researching the review history of members that write the reviews. I also google phone numbers to see what comes up, or anything suspicious surfaces like inconsistent pics or something...I'm just trying to be smart before I take the plunge, I'm trying to develop a safe approach to the hobby which I haven't done yet which is why I haven't tried calling yet.  

 I will definitely look into that 411pref site, it's a bit expensive but I think it'll be worth it.  

One thing I should mention is that I have experiences meeting women for fetish related activities. These were of course LEGAL activities, which is why the ladies I've met can candidly advertise without having to veil it behind some other service. Some of these women I've met are actually pretty famous and reputable in the fetish world online which makes them easy to verify. Even though they aren't escorts, they can still vouch that I'm reliable, not a nutcase, perfectly safe, etc.  

I have to challenge your claim about the scammers not having screening process. One particular scammer (in the fetish world) I've encountered actually has a screening process which involves either 2 verifiable references, or a 50% deposit. Why does she(or he) have the other option to use references? Probably just to make it look legit. I caught the scam though before arranging anything

Posted By: johnelliot
I have to challenge your claim about the scammers not having screening process. One particular scammer (in the fetish world) I've encountered actually has a screening process which involves either 2 verifiable references, or a 50% deposit. Why does she(or he) have the other option to use references? Probably just to make it look legit. I caught the scam though before arranging anything.  
 
Sounds to me like she just wants some guarantee that whomever is booking her is actually a paying client. Fetish providers in particular deal with a lot of "fantasy bookers." Those guys will get off on just getting some free attention from the lady and then flake on the actual appointment. Two verifiable references would give her some assurance that the client in question does actually follow through with bookings, and a deposit would cover her ass if he decides to flake.  

The other possibility is that she's under the (mistaken) impression that LE never pays deposits (it's rare that they do, but it's not unheard of).  

She very well could be a scammer for other reasons, but that particular policy in and of itself doesn't qualify her as one.

johnelliot698 reads

Posted By: Tobi Telford
 
   
Posted By: johnelliot
I have to challenge your claim about the scammers not having screening process. One particular scammer (in the fetish world) I've encountered actually has a screening process which involves either 2 verifiable references, or a 50% deposit. Why does she(or he) have the other option to use references? Probably just to make it look legit. I caught the scam though before arranging anything.    
 
   
 Sounds to me like she just wants some guarantee that whomever is booking her is actually a paying client. Fetish providers in particular deal with a lot of "fantasy bookers." Those guys will get off on just getting some free attention from the lady and then flake on the actual appointment. Two verifiable references would give her some assurance that the client in question does actually follow through with bookings, and a deposit would cover her ass if he decides to flake.  
   
 The other possibility is that she's under the (mistaken) impression that LE never pays deposits (it's rare that they do, but it's not unheard of).  
   
 She very well could be a scammer for other reasons, but that particular policy in and of itself doesn't qualify her as one.
Right, Ive provided references and deposits to girls plenty of times, that wasn't the issue, although I will say a 50% deposit is unusual from my experiences, I'm always asked to submit just $50 bucks, but I caught the scam by Google, different pics from the same contact info and different cities. Oh, and a copied and pasted reply email. It was amusing. But it was interesting because the scam didn't demand a deposit, she/he simply had it as an option in case I couldn't provide two references. You wouldn't think a scammers would do that, but that's probably what she/he wanted me to think. They didn't want to be too obvious.

-- Modified on 8/3/2015 3:20:33 PM

-- Modified on 8/3/2015 3:21:44 PM

Different cities/numbers for the same pics are definitely sketchy. Could just be that the photos are stolen, but I wouldn't risk the dough either. Carry on. :)

Posted By: johnelliot
Posted By: Tobi Telford
 
     
Posted By: johnelliot
I have to challenge your claim about the scammers not having screening process. One particular scammer (in the fetish world) I've encountered actually has a screening process which involves either 2 verifiable references, or a 50% deposit. Why does she(or he) have the other option to use references? Probably just to make it look legit. I caught the scam though before arranging anything.    
   
 
     
  Sounds to me like she just wants some guarantee that whomever is booking her is actually a paying client. Fetish providers in particular deal with a lot of "fantasy bookers." Those guys will get off on just getting some free attention from the lady and then flake on the actual appointment. Two verifiable references would give her some assurance that the client in question does actually follow through with bookings, and a deposit would cover her ass if he decides to flake.    
     
  The other possibility is that she's under the (mistaken) impression that LE never pays deposits (it's rare that they do, but it's not unheard of).    
     
  She very well could be a scammer for other reasons, but that particular policy in and of itself doesn't qualify her as one.
   
 Right, Ive provided references and deposits to girls plenty of times, that wasn't the issue, although I will say a 50% deposit is unusual from my experiences, I'm always asked to submit just $50 bucks, but I caught the scam by Google, different pics from the same contact info and different cities. Oh, and a copied and pasted reply email. It was amusing. But it was interesting because the scam didn't demand a deposit, she/he simply had it as an option in case I couldn't provide two references. You wouldn't think a scammers would do that, but that's probably what she/he wanted me to think. They didn't want to be too obvious.  
   
 -- Modified on 8/3/2015 3:20:33 PM

-- Modified on 8/3/2015 3:21:44 PM

GaGambler616 reads

Just check out the "available now" ad section, and many of these ladies can fast forward their screening process and allow you the chance to get a few "okays" under your belt as well.

Posted By: johnelliot
Hi, I'm taking a new interest in this hobby. I've been into fetishes in the past and have experience with women, but as for escorts in general I have no experience.  
   
 Some escorts allow texting but I haven't received responses, I'm guessing they prefer a voice. I haven't gathered the courage due to my inexperience, I'm not really sure what is appropriate to say, or how brief I should be, and how much I should tell her about myself before requesting a meet time and address.  
   
 Winging it, I might say something like "hi, I"m so-and-so, found your ad. You look great I'd love to meet you if you have time around say 10:30 pm tonight?"  
   
 Would something that brief and simple be appropriate? I mean, I have common sense, I'm not going to say anything crude or sexually explicit over the phone. And note that I"m not necessarily asking for any legal advice, just some "what do I say to the gals" advice.

...and then not responding are often high volume.  May not be the best way to cut your teeth.

I only communicate via text or email.... either one is fine for me, but I always tell people that if they're looking to schedule same-day, then texting is their best option for getting ahold me.

If I don't get back to the person that day (sometimes I end my day early and turn off my phone) I'm hesitant to reply later on.
Why?  Because I've gotten rude responses sometimes, when I've replied the next day.  I've also been told that it's indiscreet, as the person I'm contacting might not be using a hobby-phone.... which could lead to problems.

 
:-)

xoxoxoxo

GaGambler521 reads

Speaking strictly for myself, if I am "texting" for a same day appointment and I haven't heard back within 30 minutes or so, I assume she is busy and don't expect nor care if she gets back to me the next day "if" my text was something along the lines of "are you available this afternoon"

It is one of the reasons I prefer email over texting most of the time, you can be much more detailed and clear when emailing rather than texting.

I'm a newbie and just thinking about how to write my request to a provider. Should i keep it short and sweet when sending a request or make it a little bit longer maybe referincing the providers details/likes from their website. I thought it might be a good touch.

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