She agreed to meet you. If she could not meet you, then she should have at least called to let you know. Good business ethics and plain consideration for someone who was doing something nice for her. There is enough said about no-shows and cancellations on both sides. She should know better.
I just need to vent a bit..bare with me.
So over the past couple months, I sorta befriend a provider simply via email correspondence. I live in a town without "providers". But since my company has a small office in a City "with", I arranged several weeks ago to combine visiting a long time colleage with a business trip to the other office. I also snagged our company's four season tickets to the major league baseball game and invited my provider friend to accompany me. On the straight up..NOT as a "session", but simply as a friend to meet and perhaps eventually have an erotic encounter. But that was NOT on the agnenda for this rendezvous. Since I had four tickets, she asked if she could bring along a relative and a friend, to which I of course agreed. It didn't bother me that others in the office would have used the tickets, I felt it was fine for me as a high level manager to freely use all four.
So the morning of the game, she called me on my cell as I was in the office. We made arrangements on when and where to meet to go to the game. She was to call as she left her house.
But as the discussed time came and went and my efforts to contact her failed, I reluctantly went on to the game myself..feeling a bit embarrased that I had snagged ALL four tickets and was only going to end up using one. Oh well.
About the third inning, I FINALLY made phone contact with her. She said she had a "session" and the client wanted to go longer and since she needed the money, I was left out of the picture. But she never even bothered to call. She said perhaps we could meet after the game for a drink. Obviously, THAT never happened either. Now that I'm back home, not even an email to explain or apologize.
I fully realize I wasn't a paying client and should understand that money talks in this business; nonetheless, after setting this rendezvous up in advance, and passing on the opportunity to take others to the game, I'm just feeling a bit "down" over the incident. OH, I'll get over it. Life goes on. Live and learn.. Shit Happens..yada yada.
But, I'm just curious how anyone else would feel.
Have a great day and thanks for taking the time to read my RANT OF THE DAY!!
She agreed to meet you. If she could not meet you, then she should have at least called to let you know. Good business ethics and plain consideration for someone who was doing something nice for her. There is enough said about no-shows and cancellations on both sides. She should know better.
DaFool,
I'm sorry. I'd feel down as well.
I DO sometimes cancel my personal engagements for time with professional friends. The key is that I cancel. It is RUDE to leave anyone hanging like that.
I can *maybe* understand her not calling when the session was extended. Perhaps there was no, ah... unentangled moment. However - to not call after regarding the drink?!? To not then call or email an apology at alL?!?
Ouch.
You feel as anyone else would.
I hope the game was 4x as good as you expected LOL!
I have had a lot of experiences like that in civvie friendships, so I know I'd feel terrible.
The very worst thing is, you can't know if she was just being thoughtless, or if she was sending you a signal that inviting her for "free" social time wasn't welcome, and it didn't even merit a call from her. I would bet on the latter, but if so, it was a little mean.
Have you done things like this with her before? You don't say if you had.
I would never take for granted that a provider feels that free to be a casual friends with a man. It's a paid profession. Do you feel as inclined to your doctor or accountant to a ball game? You probably have at some time, but not usually.
You have to see the broader issue. Strictly speaking, she may be selling sex, but more broadly, she's selling social time. She may feel that you're asking for a freebee.
If there's a real friendship outside of the sessions, I would say to let her initiate it more, and accept the fact that she might not initiate it.
Also accept the fact that her feelings about free social time to male friends might be erratic. She may say okay yes at one time, and then feel that she's being taken advantage of at another.
This is not to excuse what she did, it was insulting. I only to try to give some conjectures about the thoughts and feelings that she was responding to.
-- Modified on 7/19/2005 9:05:05 PM
with your thoughts. But I was very upfront from the initial invite that it was NOT a "business" session. But she said she enjoyed baseball and that she would love to finally meet me as we've had an on-going email dialogue for several months. I know it's hard to imagine, but all through our contacts prior there was never ANY hint that this social "date" was anything other than strictly a friendly meeting.
Now, she is rather well known and a more than frequent contributor on her City's TER board. While circumstance were such that booking a session on this trip was just out of the question, I'll have more frequent trips over there and fully intend to meet up with some of the lovely ladies for social encounters of the erotic kind...would have even booked with her. Can't see doing it now..but ya never know.
maybe a pay back...if ya knowwhatimean?
Sounds like shes going to get really far in this business.
Brefriend over the internet...Please
Mr. big shot takes all four tickets. I'm on the other side. I'm the one who gets nothing or is nothing.
This is a business Mr. Businessman. These girls are busy professionals with no time for little games.
I'm so used to buying one ticket and going places by myself or throwing away the other or the rest of the tickets that I don't how I would feel. Even doing the things I do and everything that happens, I still don't know what to feel.
Do things right. Pay-get-go home and later do it again. You upper level manager guys should be the people with the brains.
paid her a two hour fee, bagged her then blew her off as soon as he showered and got out of the room. But some guys prefer to be somewhat more sociable toward the ladies that they f.... Looks like you either do not understand that or won't let you negative attitude toward the me allow you to. And yeah, upper management guys do have brains, that is how they can get four free season tickets while you have to jack your wallet to spin the turnstile.
I occasionally catch ladies that advertise on escort malls. My luck was good until the last one that I tried. To make it short, she was good at lying. The lady that stiffed you may not have been a liar but she was at least unreliable. Unfortunately some hobbyists will take up time that other hobbyists had reserved and not feel bad about it. If the lady does not correct the situation then a pending appointment does not happen.
Your best recourse when setting up future meetings is to check reviews on the ladie that interest you with special emphasis on their reliability at making appointments. Avoid ladies that have a pattern of missing appointments. Spend your money on ones that have good on time records.
-- Modified on 7/19/2005 9:53:46 PM
has to do with providing. If you had gotten stood up by a drug store clerk would it have been any better? You were not paying her and in fact you set this up on the off chance that you could score a freebie.
How do you befriend a provider by email? I'm sorry but to call someone a friend you have to have at least met them. You think you are friends while she is trying to drum up business. She probably got pissed because you were wasting her time.
From the perspective of it as a regular everyday life date/activity, it's being stood up. The feelings you have about it depends on how being stood up affects you. It would play havoc with me personally; reinforcing all the negative thoughts I have about myself and how badly women continually treat me in everyday life. But I'm an extreme case, being on the far left of the "success with women" bell curve.
She does not love you. Hell, she may not even like you. Can you say "business"?
There is never a reason to be rude or inconsiderate. She agreed to meet him and even asked if she could bring someone with her. It's bad behavior for a friendship OR a business.
being an escort means you "date" or spend time with another person, not have sex with them. She may not be getting paid with money, but with a free outing for her and a friend. Maybe he needs to write up a bad review on her.
He blew it when he tried to mix "business" and pleasure. Created false expectations. I agree she was rude, but he should have taken her accpetance with a grain of sketicism.
I have to agree with divamissx here. Whether he was trying to mix business with pleasure is not the point. If she did not want to accompanying him to the ball game as strictly a social matter without compensation, she could have refused his invitation or told him that she was only interested in attending the game if she was compensated for her time.
...get back on the whores!
Personally, if someone contacts me via my website or other escort-related means, I never, no matter how much we click, offer anything for free.
My policy is to never go to the movies, out for a drink, to lunch, etc., unless I am being compensated for it. Being an escort does not mean that you get paid for one on one time together only, but dinner is free. You pay for the time you spend with her, no matter what you're doing.
There have been times that I have clicked with a client and there has been mutual attraction. He then wants to meet for a drink or take me to lunch or take me to a concert -- all without compensation. It can take a lot of willpower to say no because I do enjoy spending time with him, but I know that my professional policy is best for all involved. That does not mean that when we are spending compensated time together, I don't offer extras. I think that all providers offer more, in one way or the other, to their favorite clients -- just like in any other business would do for their favorite client or customer.
If this provider is well-known and well-reviewed, I'd think she'd know better. Is there a possibility that maybe you weren't reading between the lines?
I do agree that she should have called you to cancel instead of leaving you hanging and for that I would not want to see her. But at the same time, the situation is not provider-related. It's like posting on a Board for doctors that your doctor friend didn't show up for a golf game. It's neither here nor there.
Best,
Kate
-- Modified on 7/21/2005 1:21:52 PM