Newbie - FAQ

What is the average amount of time for a provider to respond back?
BertG 867 reads
posted

This is concerning e-mail. Does it vary by how close you're looking to schedule your appointment? Do some providers ignore newbies and don't care to respond at all?

After 48 hours try one more time and if nothing back in 24, move on.

Yes, some providers will ignore newbies.

How you approach her is very important.  Be sure to read her site and address all her concerns, and read the Newbie Manual linked on this page regarding how to contact a provider

BertG237 reads

It's been almost 24 hours at this point. I'll give it another day and if still nothing then I'll try one more time. I'm thinking perhaps because it's getting close to the holiday weekend that she's very busy. I really want to meet this girl and I'd be rather disappointed if I couldn't. I kept everything nice and neutral in the e-mail, providing only the information she asked on her website.  

Where would this Newbie Manual be exactly?

...the site map link. Click it. Then look under the Info & Policies heading. The Self-Help Center link is there. Read all the links in the Self-Help Center.

...ignore others for reasons that only they know. Some get absent minded, some emails end up in spam/junk folders, and some don't reply on purpose just because they are bitches. Bottom line is that no one provider is the see all end all in this game. If she fails to reply after your 2nd attempt, put her on your own DNS list and move on to the next one.

Posted By: lopaw
...and some don't reply on purpose just because they are bitches
Oh my gawd, I love that one!!! Mind if I borrow it to put in my FAQs?

 
Q:  I've contacted you multiple times, why no reply?

A:  Because I'm a BITCH!!!........................Silly wabbit!

 
Thank you for the laugh!! MUAH!!
xoxoxox

My experience has been that a high percentage of newbies will ask questions via email that will result in a "no response".  You may think asking about a lady's donation, whether or not she's GFE, or questions about specific services are OK but really... not so much.  Asking in "code" with various acronyms and/or euphemisms doesn't make these questions any more discreet than speaking plainly about it.  

That is a common newbie blunder, in my experience.

Another is if the lady states somewhere on her ad/site that she prefers not to see newbies..... definitely, a good reason for her not to respond.   There are certain men I don't want to meet.... sometimes I'll purposely take a long time to reply (hoping he'll move on to someone else) and other times I won't reply at all.   I truly wish that I could simply send these men a polite message that I've chosen not to meet him but I've learned from hard experience that this can result in all kinds of nasty retaliations.    

If you're contacting me via email about a date 7-10 days from now, and I'm busy screening, booking and seeing people in the here-and-now.... yeah, I might take a couple of days to respond.  
Should I?  NO.   But I sometimes do.... and I'm likely not the only one.   ;-)

BertG210 reads

There are many guys like myself who would appreciate a response regardless of what you plan to say. I wouldn't mind what you say nearly as much as not replying at all. I don't ever mention specifics and always stay discreet in my e-mails. I did e-mail this girl for setting up an appointment in a couple of weeks from now so that could be a reason. She also travels often in the Summer from what I know.

Well....if you were wondering why I used the "bitch" term earlier, this type of thing is exactly why.
Now if you list all of the types of people that you will not see in your FAQ page, including those "certain men", then it makes sense to ignore an email asking about your services if it is clearly written that they fall into that DNS group. But if you DON'T list that info, then it is just beyond rude to "hope that someone will go away" or simply not reply to an inquiry at all.  
They deserve better than that, especially if they are polite and asking something that isn't clearly outlined on your site.
We can't read you ladies minds when it comes to things not mentioned on your sites. And a reasonable email deserves a reasonable reply - even if it bears info that the hobbyist doesn't want to hear.
 

Posted By: DebbieNoonerGirl
There are certain men I don't want to meet.... sometimes I'll purposely take a long time to reply (hoping he'll move on to someone else) and other times I won't reply at all.   I truly wish that I could simply send these men a polite message that I've chosen not to meet him but I've learned from hard experience that this can result in all kinds of nasty retaliations.

I definitely agree lopaw, it sucks that providers just ignore someone who took the time to send them a message or request..I have politely declined a thousand times and the worst I got was a hang up. It's best to just be honest, although I've gotten crucified for honesty on here lately it's the best way. Xoxo

I'd like to think most of us would appreciate a simple response that declines than no response at all. And that is it. One of the best responses I ever received was from a lady who declined to see me. She responded right away and politely but firmly said she would not see me and explained why... it was a breath of fresh air compared to having an email disappear, never to be responded to at all.

There are those assholes however, who do exactly as Debbie says and retaliate in some way. Fake reviews, board stalking, backchannel badmouthing, etc...  

The assholes make it hard on everyone, provider and client alike. I don't know the answer, but I understand the sentiments on both sides.

Posted By: MasterZen

   
 There are those assholes however, who do exactly as Debbie says and retaliate in some way. Fake reviews, board stalking, backchannel badmouthing, etc...  
   
 The assholes make it hard on everyone, provider and client alike. I don't know the answer, but I understand the sentiments on both sides.
 
Not replying to a perfectly polite email or appointment request is rude.  No two ways about it.    
Please understand that many ladies, like myself, hesitate to reply honestly out of fear.  Fear is a four-letter-word which, in regards to this business, really sucks.    

I've been stalked, outed, evicted from hotels and generally embarrassed, because some client couldn't take "no" for an answer.  These experiences have shaped the way I now conduct myself and all of my communications.

I've (sort of) been on the other side of this equation and I know how frustrating it can be.  I've contacted multiple other ladies to inquire if they'd be interested in doing duos with me and have not gotten responses.  I've even written to them that I have a good, regular client panting to schedule a date if she were willing/available for a duo with me: still, no reply.
When I have seen that the lady I contacted is currently active online but still no response after a couple of days.... I take it as a "no, thank you" and move on.  
 
When emailing and PMing ladies for reference requests it is extremely common to never hear back.  Oh, they'll be logged in to P411 daily or even posting here on the boards but still no response.  Very frustrating.    

 

Like MasterZen wrote, the assholes make it hard on everyone.  I'm not wise enough to divine a solution to this problem, either.    

xoxoxoxoxo

I state very clearly that I prefer not to meet men under 35.   Yet they still contact me.  Some don't  notice that policy; others think they can convince me to take a chance on them.

Yes, sending a polite reply is the correct thing to do.  However, I've had really nasty replies and threats after having done so.... not frequently, but enough to make me hesitate.  MOST of the time, they do get insistent that I make an exception for them.... oftentimes, even pushy.

Sometimes (especially if the person contact me more than once) I will reply to inform him of my age rule, but not always.  I just don't have the patience for the sort of replies that usually gets.  

 
The only other men I won't see are those who have "bad reports" with my screening service, RS2K.  We (providers) are not supposed to inform potential clients about what is in those reports and if it is something bad enough that I won't consider giving him a chance, well..... sometimes I simply reply that I'm not available, sometimes I just ignore him.  My response (or lack thereof) depends on a few variable factors.

If that makes me a bitch, so be it.  I will own that.   :-)

 

PS~  I tried to PM lopaw directly, but she is ignoring me.  I've always enjoyed reading her posts and am sincerely sorry if I offended her.  



-- Modified on 7/3/2015 9:45:00 AM

A simple response telling someone you don't think you would be a good match is all it takes to acknowledge that you received his request but decline the appointment. You don't have to go into great detail why and if he continues to contact you it's fine to ignore him then.  
 On a side note, saying you prefer not to see men under 35 in a completely different thing than saying you wont see men under 35, you're leaving the door open that its a possibility though not your preference.

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