Newbie - FAQ

I actually wrote a blog on this that I hope will be helpful
OhCharlie See my TER Reviews 290 reads
posted

While the gents before me have definitely answered the questions you posed, I hope the below can offer a little insight and perspective too. :-)

(forgive the copy and paste if it doesn't format correctly)  

If you've spent even five minutes looking around the interwebs, you know that one of the eternal questions in this little world of ours is whether or not one should expect or even ask for alternative arrangements to what is expressly outlined in the "X hour = X amount" format.  And if you look for two or three more minutes on top of your already invested five, you can find that there are some VERY strong opinions for the picking.
 
Here's the thing about discounts, and time spent together off the clock...  For most of you, this is the only sort of present we can give you.  We can't give you a watch, or candy, or a sexy souvenir because most of you can't bring that sort of thing home.  So what is a girl to do, when she wants to give a special little something to one of her favorite men?  Often, our time is the only safe thing to give, and the only gift that can be given fully knowing that it will be appreciated.  Going out to dinner, getting a massage, giving a special rate, or just hanging out a little longer after we are both supposed to be heading home is our way of saying "Thank you.  I value and appreciate all you have done for me with this one meeting alone, not to mention how much your generosity has meant to me in the past.  It is not much, but it is my true and honest affection."  While you may feel comfortable bringing material gifts, this sincere thanks may be all that I can give you.  That's why, if nothing else, I will look into your eyes and breath... "thank you" before you leave.  No matter the span of time or amount of money, I see that you too have gone to great lengths to do all of this, and from me, Thank You.

So often, discussions on "hobbyist boards" lose sight of this.  It (time or money) is a gift.  It's the only extra thing we - you and I - can safely do for most of the people we meet here.  This isn't just any old business.  All of our options are limited, and we are just trying to make the best of our respective situations.  These sides are often divided between men chanting "Smart guys vs. Girls who think they're worth more than they are" and the women with "Cheap guys vs. Business women".  But neither addresses the basics... that everyone wants to feel appreciated for what they bring to the table, without it complicating the relationship and ruining the magic that started it all.

As you know... Every action sparks another.  Knowing how important discretion is for us, and how intimate our relationship can be as we get to know each other, we both get used to our movements being calculated.  Everything is perfectly planned out and neatly compartmentalized, never allowing fantasy and reality to collide.  So when one party wants to go off the beaten path, you can imagine that it is a kind of a scary step.  There are a lot of different ways that gratitude can be misinterpreted, so most are rightfully cautious about who they share more with.  This is why most advice (read: opinions) found on discussion boards is only semi-applicable at best.  There are no shortcuts to a relationship in which she says "no, let me do more for you", just as there are no quick fixes for her to make you feel that way.

I can't tell you what you need to feel appreciated, and I can't tell you what anyone else needs to feel that way either.  What I can tell you is that you have to make someone feel appreciated in order to be appreciated.  My guess is that you already know how to do that, deep down.  I know you get little bursts of inspiration every once in a while... a cute gift, a new move, a little sweet nothing whispered into an ear... There are no formulas, or third party rulers that can measure it for you, only experiments and disoveries and debauchery to learn from.  Be you baby, and you will find the people that love you for it.  

Especially here.  I want to remember you as much as you remember me...  

 
Xoxox,

 
Charlotte

maxdogooder640 reads

What is OTC time? I am guessing over the counter time. Time that you are with a provider that is not on the clock?  

Does this really happen a lot ? OTC time with a provider? What would be the upside for a provider to give OTC time?

AKA time she isn't being compensated for.

...depends on who you talk to whether it happens a lot. Some here make it sound like it happens every time some just occasionally. I have had OTC time with a few ladies. Usually they suggest it. A couple of times after a session I said I was going to get something to eat would they like to join me their response was yes.

What's in it for them? You'd have to ask them. The cynic would say a free meal. That's not beyond the realm of possibility but it seems to me at least they consider me good company.

Sometimes they just like spending time with the guy and if they have nothing going on after the session, they hang out for a drink, a meal, etc. Some ladies who I know very well often just want to catch up on what's going on without having to be enticed by refreshments or meals.  

If she likes the client, then it's a good business investment of time, as it will often generate repeat business.  But, just because she gives some OTC on one occasion, don't expect it the next time.  

Each instance stands on its own.  I've had maybe 3-4 ladies either offer it, or take me up on an offer.  I won't pay for social time. I'm happy to pick up a check, but I'm not paying for time sitting having dinner or drinks. Some guys will do that, but not for me, so I don't expect OTC, but it's nice when you have it under the right circumstances.

it is time she spends with you Off The Clock.  It is something you should NOT mention in reviews, it is something she has given you, but not necessarily offered to others.  If you mention she gave you extra time in your date, chances are it will not happen next time.  C'mon guys use common sense.  The upside for her is getting you to book another session with her, duh....

LLAP,
Swim

While the gents before me have definitely answered the questions you posed, I hope the below can offer a little insight and perspective too. :-)

(forgive the copy and paste if it doesn't format correctly)  

If you've spent even five minutes looking around the interwebs, you know that one of the eternal questions in this little world of ours is whether or not one should expect or even ask for alternative arrangements to what is expressly outlined in the "X hour = X amount" format.  And if you look for two or three more minutes on top of your already invested five, you can find that there are some VERY strong opinions for the picking.
 
Here's the thing about discounts, and time spent together off the clock...  For most of you, this is the only sort of present we can give you.  We can't give you a watch, or candy, or a sexy souvenir because most of you can't bring that sort of thing home.  So what is a girl to do, when she wants to give a special little something to one of her favorite men?  Often, our time is the only safe thing to give, and the only gift that can be given fully knowing that it will be appreciated.  Going out to dinner, getting a massage, giving a special rate, or just hanging out a little longer after we are both supposed to be heading home is our way of saying "Thank you.  I value and appreciate all you have done for me with this one meeting alone, not to mention how much your generosity has meant to me in the past.  It is not much, but it is my true and honest affection."  While you may feel comfortable bringing material gifts, this sincere thanks may be all that I can give you.  That's why, if nothing else, I will look into your eyes and breath... "thank you" before you leave.  No matter the span of time or amount of money, I see that you too have gone to great lengths to do all of this, and from me, Thank You.

So often, discussions on "hobbyist boards" lose sight of this.  It (time or money) is a gift.  It's the only extra thing we - you and I - can safely do for most of the people we meet here.  This isn't just any old business.  All of our options are limited, and we are just trying to make the best of our respective situations.  These sides are often divided between men chanting "Smart guys vs. Girls who think they're worth more than they are" and the women with "Cheap guys vs. Business women".  But neither addresses the basics... that everyone wants to feel appreciated for what they bring to the table, without it complicating the relationship and ruining the magic that started it all.

As you know... Every action sparks another.  Knowing how important discretion is for us, and how intimate our relationship can be as we get to know each other, we both get used to our movements being calculated.  Everything is perfectly planned out and neatly compartmentalized, never allowing fantasy and reality to collide.  So when one party wants to go off the beaten path, you can imagine that it is a kind of a scary step.  There are a lot of different ways that gratitude can be misinterpreted, so most are rightfully cautious about who they share more with.  This is why most advice (read: opinions) found on discussion boards is only semi-applicable at best.  There are no shortcuts to a relationship in which she says "no, let me do more for you", just as there are no quick fixes for her to make you feel that way.

I can't tell you what you need to feel appreciated, and I can't tell you what anyone else needs to feel that way either.  What I can tell you is that you have to make someone feel appreciated in order to be appreciated.  My guess is that you already know how to do that, deep down.  I know you get little bursts of inspiration every once in a while... a cute gift, a new move, a little sweet nothing whispered into an ear... There are no formulas, or third party rulers that can measure it for you, only experiments and disoveries and debauchery to learn from.  Be you baby, and you will find the people that love you for it.  

Especially here.  I want to remember you as much as you remember me...  

 
Xoxox,

 
Charlotte

This is why the rest of us have to tolerate the guys who ask for it.  No offense!  Really.  I understand your point.  I just don't do it myself.

I never give anything extra to anybody.  For me, this is a business and everyone knows what to expect.  I like all of my clients, or I wouldn't see them again.  Some more than others, but I want to be fair to everyone.  I don't allow the boundaries to become blurred.  

I do offer a discount to military, policemen, and firemen, and to birthday boys within two weeks of their birthdays.

My big OTC special, is called (not too creatively) my 2H lunch/dinner date special.  When you book 2 hours or longer we can spend time off the clock first doing whatever non-intimate activity you'd like to do.

I offer this because I love to be able to go out with my clients and get to know them better, and because I feel a lot of guys will go for the 2Hs instead of 1 or 90 minutes because of this.  It really is fun and makes it feel like such a real date when we can go out first then spend our intimate time together.

Some women have allowed themselves to be pressured, so some guys seem to think that it's "normal". "I won't pay her to eat" is something that's said a lot in reference to why a woman should just accept an offer of OTC time. And you know what? I HAVE literally been paid to eat. It is no where near the same as going to dinner, lol!

My overall point was that you should only accept it, not expect it. I hope that it came across that way.

I thought OTC meant "Outside the Club".  Like meeting a stripper outside of the club for session.

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