....while she was on the clock but when your session ends so does the relationship. Start looking for someone else you would like to meet and when you find someone you can use her as a reference. Don't get hung up on the first girl you meet, or any of them for that matter. Just enjoy it for what it is, a brief no strings encounter.
While it is possible to develop real friendships over time it's rare. She should be the one reaching out to you rather than you becoming a needy time wasting stalker. Excessive unwanted communication could make it so you won't be seeing her again when she returns to your area and could even cause you to lose your reference.
If you need advice come back here or your local board and ask rather than bothering her.
Remember that you paid her to show you that good time and there are many others who will show you an equally good time and maybe even better if the price is right.
I was wondering what the etiquette is for contacting a provider after a session? Is it alright to ask her for referrals on any friends she has in the area or things of that nature? We exchanged a few text messages right after the session, mainly thanking her and visa versa, see you again, ect. but i don't know like... can i treat her as a friend that i can text/email randomly for advice and what not? I know i should have asked during the session, hell, I didn't even ask if i could use her as a reference, she told me she could (which I'm thankful for), i was just still so damn nervous and she made it feel like it wasn't a session, which was great. Any help is appreciated or a link to another post (i tried searching to no avail).
My first and only was with a provider while she was on tour, so unfortunately i can't repeat because shes now in another city. She was absolutely amazing though, made me feel at ease and everything.
I was wondering what the etiquette is for contacting a provider after a session? Is it alright to ask her for referrals on any friends she has in the area or things of that nature? We exchanged a few text messages right after the session, mainly thanking her and visa versa, see you again, ect. but i don't know like... can i treat her as a friend that i can text/email randomly for advice and what not? I know i should have asked during the session, hell, I didn't even ask if i could use her as a reference, she told me she could (which I'm thankful for), i was just still so damn nervous and she made it feel like it wasn't a session, which was great. Any help is appreciated or a link to another post (i tried searching to no avail).
First of all please remember that this is her business, so, no, do not email randomly etcetera...
Yes by all means treat her as a "friend" but respect boundaries. You can ask for referrals ("recommendations") of other ladies. She will probably have suggestions.
Generally, if I contact a provider more than a week after our session, I discretely put some reminder of who I am.
The best advice that I can give is: manage your expectations
Happy that it was such a great experience for you
The point of a good GFE provider is to make you feel like it is "not a service". Her warmth and ability to put you at ease should not be mistaken for a true friendship, especially in this world. Your best bet, read the boards and ask questions that providers and hobbyist can give you decent and relatable advice on. Some ladies that aren't that "busy" (heck we are all busy!) may entertain some convo/ email exchange with good repeat clients; but generally the interest is in booking rather than chatting about life. There is a fine line between procuring business and being creepy. LOL! You are too new, chill out, only reach out to your lady the next time she is in your area, and get ready for the next experience, it only gets better. Good luck!
....while she was on the clock but when your session ends so does the relationship. Start looking for someone else you would like to meet and when you find someone you can use her as a reference. Don't get hung up on the first girl you meet, or any of them for that matter. Just enjoy it for what it is, a brief no strings encounter.
While it is possible to develop real friendships over time it's rare. She should be the one reaching out to you rather than you becoming a needy time wasting stalker. Excessive unwanted communication could make it so you won't be seeing her again when she returns to your area and could even cause you to lose your reference.
If you need advice come back here or your local board and ask rather than bothering her.
Remember that you paid her to show you that good time and there are many others who will show you an equally good time and maybe even better if the price is right.
I was wondering what the etiquette is for contacting a provider after a session? Is it alright to ask her for referrals on any friends she has in the area or things of that nature? We exchanged a few text messages right after the session, mainly thanking her and visa versa, see you again, ect. but i don't know like... can i treat her as a friend that i can text/email randomly for advice and what not? I know i should have asked during the session, hell, I didn't even ask if i could use her as a reference, she told me she could (which I'm thankful for), i was just still so damn nervous and she made it feel like it wasn't a session, which was great. Any help is appreciated or a link to another post (i tried searching to no avail).
Aww shucks, i though it was gonna be like "Pretty Woman" or "Kiss of the dragon" where i rescue the girl from this life... Um... yeah... no... that's obvious that she isn't my girlfriend, and no I didn't mean email/texting her for advice about life and chit chatting about how her day is going. Ya'll need to stop reading so much into it. I just meant as @OnlyLiveTwice said, about referrals, just wanted to know if she had any suggestions of other providers in the area that are newbie friendly like her, as she didn't have a problem with my situation, maybe she has friends or knows other providers that are the same.
Well, from my experience asking a question on here, some people get antagonistic or troll and the question goes unanswered, figured she'd be my best bet at a straight answer.
thank you DJ1985 for your response, I was trying to take the easy way out and not have to do another weeks worth of research like i did my first provider by getting a suggestion from her. I posted a thread on my regional board and only received one PM so far for newbie friendly providers.
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as hard as it is to deal with these emotions, move on and don't be a pest to her. It's one thing if you've seen her 3-4 times and you've built a rapport that includes some OTC communication not related to a session. But, that's not something that develops after one meeting.
Be glad that she'll be a reference, but don't email or text her unless you're looking to book your next encounter. I have 4-5 ladies I keep up contact with OTC, but they also know I'll see them each and every time they're in town, so I'm not wasting their time.
Chill, have fun, move to your next experience. Take it from someone who was in your shoes not much more than a year ago and I've learned quite a bit from the experiences, the ladies, and the guys on this board.
You can send her a thank you followup email, maybe ask her if she minds you writing her a review/using her as a reference. If you really enjoyed the time and think you'd want to see her again when she tours again (a lot of providers tour the same cities/areas over the course of a few months) maybe send her a gift card with a note that lets her know who you are. Not sure if she would be able to recommend any other providers as she was on tour, unless she said/listed on her site that she has doubles available in the area.
Definitely don't email/text her "just to chat/ask how her day is". Two things: A) like the others said, unless you've seen her multiple times and developed a great rapport, she's going to be reluctant to spend too much time OTC. B) she might think you're becoming infatuated and trying to take things further than just some fun time, and that's the fastest way (for most providers) for you to never hear from her again.
In short, definitely go ahead and write a thank you, let her know you really enjoyed yourself, but keep it short and sweet, and don't get into personal life.
Remember that your relationship is really a business one, not a friendship. If you do contact her again, keep it brief and respectful. If you don't hear back from her, don't contact her again unless she is touring near you.
In general, places like TER, other regional boards, ad listings, etc are your best way to find out about other providers near you. Since she is not local to you, she may not even have many good providers to recommend to you.
Do you contact your dentist, doctor or any other PAID professional to randomly chit chat and what not?
This should have more reads!
Yeah, because my doctor is my friend who i go out to drinks with, my dentist is a family friend, and other paid professionals we get to know each other sooner or later (mechanic, IT, temps, research assistants I've had that I paid). See them enough (like others have said, and constantly go back to them for business) and your bound to hang out OTC. Kinda sad that you don't even try and get to know some of them, but maybe that's just me. You see someone once or twice a month, someone is bound to ask "hey, wanna get a drink after i'm off?" I figured, like me, when I'm OTC, I don't go to a charging station and recharge my batteries until the next morning when i go back to work, I go and be human, interact with others. =]
Let us know how this works for you. If you have had success with these other people you pay, then you really need not have asked the question.
-- Modified on 6/24/2015 8:19:12 PM
-- Modified on 6/24/2015 8:21:50 PM
So what if in the process of leading up to the date she says she wants to keep in touch and exchange emails (after the session ends)? Is this to try and make you more comfortable? Or maybe she likes the interaction and knows that if there is a connection a repeat is more likely
If she brings up keeping in touch/exchanging emails, then play it by ear! Send her a casual and short email a day or two after the visit, see how she responds! If she doesn't respond/responds curtly, then leave it alone until you want to visit her again. If she really response enthusiastically, then go for it!
The key is figuring out who is "just being nice" and who really wants to "keep in touch"
I have a rule of thumb that I never make more than one, or at the most two unanswered emails/texts to a provider, and NEVER send her a message "are you still there" if it takes her a while to respond. I usually tell her that I would prefer it if she would initiate the conversations, that way I know she really wants to talk and is not simply being polite, until I am sure that she really likes talking to me. If you have the slightest doubt whether or not she really wants to chat, err on the side of "she doesn't"
I have some "friends" that I talk to several times a day. I know these ladies enjoy our conversations because if I DON'T call, text or write for a day or two I get a message along the lines of "Where are you?" THAT's when you know you are not being a pest, until then err on the side of caution.
Remember, this is a business.
I normally will check-in with a provider from time-to-time, just to see her availability or to keep my name fresh in her mind for when I do go back to visit. Some providers actually check-in with me to keep the networking going. Otherwise, I try to keep some distance as a courtesy to them and their lives.
Do not become a stalker.