the driving force behind words are their unpredictability and the emotions behind them. You don't know what they are going to say, how they're going to say it and it comes out of left field. Word games in fetish play are exciting because there is no preparation, you don't 'get ready' to be some role - they are word darts that shock you and sting and the adrenaline rush of it is stimulating. I've found that clients who are in the most powerful positions, have to do and make the worst kinds of decisions all day long (how do they sleep at night??) are the ones who most want to be degraded, demeaned, beaten. They need that release, that shame.
Not all women orgasm every single time. I was with a guyfriend/sex partner for 2 years before I ever had an orgasm. Finally, he started talking to me in a really dirty, incestuous role play way, and BAM! I came in floods, repeatedly. Why the incestuous thing just does it for me, I have no idea. But sometimes the most absurd, the most unexpected catches you just enough off guard as to be the key.
Yeah, you know you're reading this and stroking yourself you fuckin' slimeballs because you just picture that don't you?? don't you?
See, even in text it's fun!
Why do some guys get hot when their Dom calls 'em a worm, a dog? Why do some chicks get wet when you slap their ass and call 'em a whore?
Because words dive straight into our libidos and shape sexual identities. The brain is our biggest sex organ and it runs on ideas and images. But how we link up those ideas depends on words. As a professional bullshit artist (marketing communications manager, ad director, copy writer, graphic and web designer, marketing project director) I offer two statements:
Words shape our thinking more than our thinking shapes our words.
- and -
Perception is reality.
I started the "whoremonger" thread 'cause I wanted to see how this community felt about the brands we-- and society-- put on us. The dictionary definitions are interesting but not really to the point.
I think hobbyist is a cool term, a euphemism to be sure, but passed on with a fraternal *wink* and a *nod*. Provider is another term, albeit rather cold for such a warm service, which like hobbyist shakes off the "whoremonger" baggage of mainstream American culture.
I like the community this board brings together. In our own goofy way we are a product of, and a force for, positive change. Sure, we are an underground force; individually we're vulnerable as hell. But we're here. America can't deny that. We post. We share with discretion our values and opinions with outside friends. We can join in public debate. And we vote.
Now I don't mean to force my definitions on others; how you choose to see and feel about yourself (ideas) and the labels you self-affix (words) are your own. But in dialog with and about you I'm going to choose words that reflect the positive and life-affirming aspects of the hobby we share.
For myself, I reject "whoremonger" because it's a popular misapplication of the literal term "monger," and just as ignorantly loaded with all the negative American bullshit about prostitution. Just because nigger was an accepted label for blacks for decades doesn't mean the bullshit attached to the word was anything more than plain bullshit. When blacks cast off that word they cast off the bullshit, too. It's taboo for whites because to apply it to a black reapplies the bullshit-- and sets you up fo' an ass-whuppin'.
(Blacks use it freely 'mongst themselves, tho, and if y'all wann'a call each other whoremongers, drive right up.)
Why bother? Isn't this all just stupid semantics?
Nope. Because the words we use shape our ideas about our actions, which affect many of the feelings we have about each other.
Why do some guys pine away for ladies they can't ever posses? Why do some hookers have to drop clients they know and like because their feelings for them deepen? Why does the addiction theme emerge so regularly here? And what does all this have to do with our fuckin' hobby?
Simply this: If you look at what we do-- exchange service for money in a highly capitalist culture-- there's absolutely no stigma.
If you define those services as sexual, you add a risqué dollop but you're still (mostly) OK under the First Amendment-- think lap dancing.
It's only the final acts which are prosecuted and force us underground. But if you examine those acts and their presentation, I argue they're as much an art form as poetry, music, painting, and dance. Netti recently reclined naked on a Thrillhammer and got off for patrons in a museum. That's performance art. If she does it on your bed, it may be illegal, but it's still performance art. And doubtless just as breathtaking.
You cannot posses an artist. Creative forces prevent that. You can patronize them exclusively if you can afford to, and call yourself Medici. You can stifle them, prosecute and imprison them, and call yourself Moral. But you cannot "have" them.
Art flows through your senses and provokes feelings. Our common art form is sexual, provoking strong feelings produced by powerful brain chemistry. It's a heady brew. But feelings are what we are selling and buying. The tingling anticipation, the lust and excitement, releases and cuddling, are balanced by the longing, distraction, and yes, sometimes pain. It's the yin and yang, elation and pathos, of any decent art. (I'm still savoring the desire evoked by the charms of the teenage Alyssa West from three days ago....)
Granted, I'm not talking hand job by an SW. For that you may well BE a whoremonger. I'm thinkin' GFE, which seems to be the staple of TER and the standard for this, the "hobby" community.
And when you understand this as a marketplace for a highly charged underground art form, I think a lot of the issues of jealousy, heartbreak, shame, fear of addiction, and maybe even some of the misogyny, goes away.
Am I disgusted by what I do and distracting myself with word games? No way. I know what I do is illegal and I try to be discreet, but I revel in my sexuality and am as upfront about my tastes ("perversions" by mainstream standards) as anyone on this board. I couldn't give a shit how America regards us; I am a patron of erotic performance art, offered up by women who practice the "oldest profession."
I'm a hobbyist, a whore lover, a Netti fan, and yes GiDC, maybe just an ATM sometimes. But I ain't no whoremonger.
-- Modified on 7/14/2005 1:03:18 PM
Damn if you are and damn if your not, now what is wrong with calling your Provider names if it turns both of you on?
Ah never mind just give me a double and forget the word game.
I want to lick your face like a kitty.
(Thanks very much.)
the driving force behind words are their unpredictability and the emotions behind them. You don't know what they are going to say, how they're going to say it and it comes out of left field. Word games in fetish play are exciting because there is no preparation, you don't 'get ready' to be some role - they are word darts that shock you and sting and the adrenaline rush of it is stimulating. I've found that clients who are in the most powerful positions, have to do and make the worst kinds of decisions all day long (how do they sleep at night??) are the ones who most want to be degraded, demeaned, beaten. They need that release, that shame.
Not all women orgasm every single time. I was with a guyfriend/sex partner for 2 years before I ever had an orgasm. Finally, he started talking to me in a really dirty, incestuous role play way, and BAM! I came in floods, repeatedly. Why the incestuous thing just does it for me, I have no idea. But sometimes the most absurd, the most unexpected catches you just enough off guard as to be the key.
Yeah, you know you're reading this and stroking yourself you fuckin' slimeballs because you just picture that don't you?? don't you?
See, even in text it's fun!