Dani, I'll move to wherever you are! I have yet to find a provider who communicates outside of "business" hours. And I always send a message or leave a message to thank them afterwards.
..from hobbyist. Many of my clients, whom I have befriended, have come to me with problems in their lives, because more often then not I can offer up some very good advice. But the biggest problem I have come to notice is this: when you all decide you have found a "special lady", that is to say, a civi lady, and you quit hobbying for a while, do you find it difficult to ease back into that lifestyle? Im really starting to wonder, because the longest I have seen these relationships last is 6 months, and I am curious, is it because a prolonged indulgence in provider-ism causes you to develop different expectations from women?; do you see civis in a different (often times, and oddly enough, a more needy) light?; do you notice any influx in the financial expenditures; a decrease in available time to yourself?; and does all this begin to rack your brain and slowly gnaw at your nerves until you become distant end edgy and you just cant take it anymore!!!?!?!?!?!!!
Or is it you get tired of seeing one (often inhibited) woman and realize you miss the freedom of seeing whichever hot, beautiful, sexually uninhibited girl you like for equal or lesser money spent and still have time to do as you please without someone nipping at your heels and analyzing your every move?
Dani-Banani
-- Modified on 7/7/2005 1:54:37 AM
Dani, you raise a lot of questions. "Real life" relationships are so different from visiting the ladies (I hate that expression, "hobby"). Of course in a relationship one has less time toone's self, and eventually has to account to some extent for what one does in life. Well, perhaps "account" is the wrong word, it has negative implications. Let's say explain from time to time. The two main differences I can see between visiting providers and even a casual relationship are, first, the expense. I can visit a friend and have a cup of tea and have a long visit which may or may not include sex. Second, the fact that I can pretty much choose when I see a lady, whereas with a gf there has to be a lot of give and take, assuming both she and I have real lives and jobs.
The reality is that most relationships don't last long (you say 6 months, close enough). I'm sure we've all met Ms (or Mr) Wonderful only to realize in a short time that it was a mistake. Rarely, and if we're lucky, we find a keeper, or at least a long-term SO. So that part of your query has an easy answer.
It's always a tough choice. The freedom of seeing you ladies whenever I want is great, and several of the ladies I have seen have been truly wonderful. But there are times when I want the ability to pick the phone and call and just talk.
I could keep going, but I hope you can see where I'm going with all this. There clearly is no perfect solution, or perfect relationship. At this point in time and space I'm enjoying occasional visits to you ladies, bless you all.
...(or maybe not) many of my clients have that relationship of freindship outside of monetary situation, with me; I speak quite frequently to most of them, just to say hi, or see how they or doing, as Im sure many of the quality ladies of TER do... but my problem is, I know many relationships dont last, but why is it particularly the ones where a man decides to put is hobbying on hiatus?
I also wonder though, with so many ladies turning provider (as they get wiser!) and many men turning to the providers, is that all we ever have left in this world? (which dont get me wrong I would think it wonderful, especially since the phrase "someONE for everyONE" doesn't take into fact that women outnumber men by what, 3 to 1 is it?)
Dani
Dani, I'll move to wherever you are! I have yet to find a provider who communicates outside of "business" hours. And I always send a message or leave a message to thank them afterwards.
On a small Caribbean island where there are no providers at all, and the rest of the time in a remote outpost of civilization in New England where they ... oh, never mind, I travel to Boston for fun, just haven't connected in that way yet.
Danielle, I think you have a skewered sense of the world. Aside from your obvious partiality on this topic ("with so many ladies turning provider...as they get wiser!"), most people's reality does not remotely begin to revolve around our little hobby, and, in spite of what many people on here seem to believe, not all of those people are miserable.
...firstly, you use of an alias bores me, Im so very tired of people hiding behind unrelated names so that they may be insatiably rude on this board. I cant imagine you are someone who knows me at all. I think if you aren't going to be pleasant in my posts, please allow me to know who you are so that I can avoid you in future postings.
secondly, who on earth said anything about being miserable-- so what you now have to be miserable to be a provider, or a hobbyist?; sir or madam if that is your belief, I believe you have got the wrong web address... you'll not find much civi-sympathy here, seeing as how this IS and escort review site...
and thirdly, perhaps you need to check up on recent studies and surveys. Im not pulling this information out of the clear blue sky. This is, infact, a fact! Many of this worlds busy businessmen partake in the fruit of paid company in leu of a real relationship, because its less trouble in the long run and more fun...
And yes, that was a joke, you know, jokes, those funny things people laugh at? I didn't mean all women are going to have this great epiphany to become sex workers before they die....
geez, the audacity of some or others...
Dani
-- Modified on 7/7/2005 7:12:10 AM
My use of an alias is my right on here.
Now, I don't see my post to you as particularly rude (and my rudeness can be easily sated), just challenging some of what you said. If you think one should only be pleasant in posts, it is YOU who are in the wrong area. I am not looking to date you, so I am free to offer my opinions.
As for the miserable part, I was talking about people outside the hobby, which is what "many" on here say people who don't use this service are. Some may be...but many aren't as well.
Not looking for civi-sympathy...just reality.
Yes, many people partake of these services. However, I doubt it is the majority of people in the world.
If it was a joke, you forgot the smiley.
Welcome back to the boards. 
This may be a sad commentary on the nature of relationships in this day and age, but having met several providers who are bright, strong, interesting women, my expectations from civvies have changed. Call me cynical but I prefer parties without drama over drama without parties.
So, just to play devil's advocate, it can be argued that deciding to avoid real life relationships and pursuing the provider/client life makes us more self-centered, egoistic, and less able to be sensitive and considerate to others' needs and feelings.
...sister was managing, and was hoping that you are okay. I'm glad to see that you are!
....its nice to hear when people care.
I think you are referring to my cousin who is soon to be transferred to a mental health facitlity versus jail, which is much better for her... so she is doing better as well..
Dani
It is fun for a while, Having a ladie spend all night. Depends on what she looks like in the morning....LoL
Dear Dana-Banana,
Why don't you ask these Cats yourself that you personally know who have done this double-take? It seems to me they would have the answers you seek.
As for myself, an unmarried bachelor, who dates often and hobbies, also, I haven't met the person I want to share a committed relationship. Till then I'll stay in the Biz for pure enjoyment reasons.
It's great to have you back Dani.
Yes, most all of the issues you brought up can be factored into failed relationships; I could relate to each one at some time or another. The time, money and effort it takes to build a successful relationship consumes too much of my life at this point in time; but as I age this mindset is slowly evolving and changing. I view the relationships much differently, my expectations(especially physical and/or sexual) are certainly out of the mainstream from my partner's perspective. It doesn't take long before I realize that first, I'm not a monogamous person; and second, that I can get most of what I want/need from a provider with a lot less hassle. But do notice I said most of what I need; acknowledging that a visit with a provider simply cannot, and should not, replace the deep emotional intimacy of a long term relationship.
But it sure is fun an hour at a time isn't it...